shapman

2006-01-09T22:29:00.000-08:00

got someone to train with me. i think he'll be coming over today or tomorrow at best. he teaches wado ryu karate. is there such a thing? i can google that to be sure what i am dealing with here. he says he's frm taytay and goes towork at night. must be call center guy.

anyway, that's good i'd be training again. let's just get to the other side lang for now.

2.38pm. so it's a legit martial art then. it's got some jap jjitsu and mostly atemi so it's karate based. that's good. maybe we can start off with a little sparring then work--no. start of with some ground techniques then work your way up. but i need to test his skills. i can do that by sparring. it'll be a full blown takedown to do that as he'd be keeping me at bay. and we dont' have mats. i think he knows how to break his fall being a karate instructor.

eddie now going sideways in the meantime. no entry yet. ops is negative so i'm thinking of going short looking for break on support or failure on resistance. right now, nothing is happening.

i guess the reason why he was asking for certification is because he is an instructor. i think the best certification you can get is getting in the ring and being able to defend yourself effectively. nothing can take that away from you or question you. but i can't tell him that. he'd be passing by the house to see where i train. good. he's probably around twenty something since he's working daw. i'd say he must be disciplined if he's a karate instructor. but where does wado rryu train in the philippines?

i don't see any websites relating to their dojo. maybe it's a small group in here. we'll see tonight who i'm dealing with. someone to claim he is an instructor means he's put in a lot of time into what he's doing and should be competent enough. this is what i do here. i am putting myself on the line see if i can stand up to it. that's good. you won't get that from any dojo training.

jan 4 wednesday trade

2006-01-04T22:53:00.000-08:00

made total +6 pips on two eddie shorts. first was gimmee bar. setup failure on ops, then took profit +1 on failure to make new low candle.

second trade was same short 123 tte entry. took profit on intraday low +5.

jan. 5, thursday

2006-01-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

forgot to put in word verify before publish post. i lost blogs i wrote earlier.

anyway, made one pip profit on first eddie short, gimmee bar setup. took profits on failure to make new low.

next trade was 123 high tte entry take profits on intraday low +5.

total today +6 which is about twice better than my daily quota.

2006-01-02T22:11:00.000-08:00

November 13, 2004Good thing I didn't go home agad last night. I was able to get an insight as to how to trade this market better. Imagine there were bulls and bears running out on the street. If you opened your position in their midst, what would they do? Evenutally you'd get eaten. Either you caught them and ride them on their back or you get eaten. So what wold you do in a situation like this? You get out of the way. You wait until a bull or a bear gets to your side and tells you, hop on and I'll take you to the other side. And hta'ts how you make money.How do you know? He'll tell you. Then you wil know. The market is going to tell you. That's how simple it is. Listen to the market and it will tell you where to hop on. No analysis no nothing. In fact with this system I will just be using only one oscillator and then the rest will be candlesticks. I won't tell people on moneytec about this for a while. In fact, I don't have to. I can just make my calls live on the chat roonm and go from there. I thimn I can do that. Should I get a new handle so they won't have a clue as to what I am doing in there? They wil be able to tell. Don't make the calls. That will be ego lang. You don't need that. What you need is to build up your credibility in the market so I can get those hedge fund accounts.I tink I can do that also. Maybe I can apply as a trader for one of these banks here? I can also do that what else can I do around here? I can apply as a trader with one of the banks and get 20% of the profits? That's not good. I would rather do something else like 30% of the profits or even fifty percent if my system were that good.I think that is highly possible for me here. What else can we do around hre? If I go to the net that will surely reduce my capacity to trade weaker nexct week. I will need to borrow money na but from whom? I can start trading. Iw ill stay off the market this time and I will start trading na on Monday. I can do that. What else can I do about this here? Just stock with the basics. In or out of the band I wil ltrade the market. If I get stopped out then I will have ot make that 7 or 8 pips lang then I can reverse my position and go from there. I can do that also. That what you will know that you are wrong. Volatile markets like that you don't need to be analyzing so much and just get in there and make money.I will have to build up my asset base again and go from there. I think I can do that also. Do I need to find clients here who will want me to trade their accounts? I think I can do something else around here. What else is there for me to do? I can do something else and there be plenty of things to do around the market I can't believe there is so much profit potential there is.Now why do they tell us not to pick tops and bottms. Why not a geeky name and take it from there? I think that is p[ossible there. I think you know now what it is you need to do around here. Three I have eliminated a lot of incidental factors from my trading and now I am ready to test it on Monday. It is going ot be slow on Monday but we can get ahead with that as there will only be one side to it in the morning and that is one side. The Yen market is open and the asian market. That is all you need to get into.Once it presents itself you hop on and get on with it. I think I can do that. Do I need to learn about envelopes? I don't think I need to do that. There is asuccession on the food chain here and you don't want ot be part of that. I think there is something to be had here and if I can develop a tradng systemt aht can do thatno need to announce that to the world.\I'll finish these lang and then I can eat as the kids are still eating and I don't have a big table to sit us all so now I will just do this. The week has been a turbulent one. Get on with the life and and that dude there has a pretty daughter I thik he must be proud of his duaghter there and there is more to this than meets the eyes.So what do I do ther reset of the day? I can go online but that will wipe me out and I need some data to test these and the market is the best place to test this with a real account. If I just go in and out in the middle of the beastsMaybe there is a potential there as there is only one side that I gotta watch out for when I hae an open position. No need to open and tell people about it as it will just get me into trouble. Those who can do and those who can't teach don't or something like that. I think I can make something aout of this and I can teach these kids here how to go about it. I think I can do that. But I wouldn't be telling them my system. I think they need to learn that for themselves. I don't think I need to tell anybody abou thtis. I think I can do something about this and then just go from there. I don't need anyon'es approval for anythinkg. But that is my weakes tpoint here. Mayb after a year of being successful with this I can tell them but not now.The people who will want something from thatw well, they can work on it themselves and learn tfromt he market themselves. I think there is something there. You don't need that and there is so much niose in the market already you don't need these moneytec people. Find something else to do like write and work on your website you can copy from other people na lang.Or you can do something else instead. Just post your records on the net and you can go from there. I think that will be possible there. I think there is something you can do about this. No need to open a new account. Just work on this one and make it work. These kids are going to be big and ready to take over in a decade. What you need to do is to get them ready for it.I think so too. There is so much to be gained here. He must have been rich before but all that will be gone pretty soon. I think there is huge potential here. Why did I listen to them. There is so much here to do. It is ok to be worng and you ust pay a little for that whereas if you sleep on it ithat will be wrong for you.I can maybe write a bok about this and go from there but if you were making so much money out of it then there is something about it that you don't want people to know about it anymore. So ou are going to be slefish? For now while I grow it I will just give back to the community when I am done. I guess there will be plenty of people out there whom I will be taking money from.So be it. They will have to learn for themselves what works anwd what doesn't work in this worlkd. I have already paid so much for it it is now to cash in on th eleassons I have learned frm this market and vo from there.I thikl I can make something from here and go from tehre. I can do somethine about this. It is going to be a long weekend in here. I huess iw ill be goingg to training tonight as I won't be doing much of anythign around here but read and think about this. Ic an go work out athat willtake out an hour of thinking frommy hands but it is too hot to go outside an workout. What else is tehre for me to do?I can get ready for money and clear up my head fromall that. I can o that. I wish the trainign was way much earlier instead. But then edward calls the shots around here. I think I can dos oemthign about this. What is the river. I dreamed there was a huge river and I was told not to show any techniques around there.I think ther is something there that can be gained from there. I am done now.October 29 FridayI could have opened a long position this moring but didnT as the risk reward ratio isn't as good. This fon tis so much bigger than times new roman and a lot more readable considering I have a right eye that needs fixing. What is this show that is here on tv? Does gani not have a cable tv where he is from ? I don't know. He lives on a meager teacher's pay lang and he teaches pe. Maybe not. Still it was a pleasure to have him over and he coan come stay here whenever he is in town whenever he watns to. He just doesn't have any privacy in here but that is alright also.I have been in that situation myself and it is good that I can give back to the world also. So what else? What will be my entry point? Confirmation of support and resistance levels? I should write that down and make that certain. But then there are a lot of factors in that and I gotta define that really. Look for reversal patterns and continuation patterns and wait for confirmation or initiate another position on confirmation.I think I would rather go for reversal patterns and review my notes on continuation patterns or maybe it will be higher risk on continuation patterns as you donT know if it is going to continue or not. I wasn't watching what I was typing or so it skipped there and made that turn. Anyway. Just continue writing and get to the other side. I have a still neck that's been bothering me for some days now. What can I do about this?I don't know yet but just live with it.i can leave at four in the afternoon and it is soon enough. Gotta spend some time with the kids or I can sleep there instead. I think lara is going to greenhills. I gotta make my trading rules here. If you make some bad time trading then it should be time to take a break. Where will put my stoploss? I think it will be way out as 200 points away is a problem for you but wait for reversal or the candlestick pattern to tell you that you are wrong.Or maybe in the 5 minute chart or the 15 minute chart to tell me where the stps should be. But like last week, I was dead certain that the market was going to reverse and it was good. Then now I can do that. Maybe look at the hourly chart and set it right there if it confirms as such that I was wrong. But that will already be a lot of loss. Go for the fifteen minute chart instead and take it from here.Ok. Then I will do that. What else can I do to get profitable in this business? I need to define my sotop loss level and take it from there. What else needs to be done here? I think I need also to do some martial arts training here and go from there. How else am I going to do that? I don't know yet but I can do something about this myself. It wuld be nice to take the speedboat with a girl and fuck them out on the sea. That will be nice.That will be one of the dream things to do but when I am old, then I wouldn't want to get laid lang for the money I think it is better if I did it someway else. What else can I do here? I think one who can affrod a jet are those who relies on higher income. Maybe better a jet than a ship, but therte are expenses to that and you might not want to got that there. What can I do here?I don't kow. Bt for now, the target is five hundred dollarsthen go fro a grand then make it from there. I think that is so. I think what they say qhen 9 out of ten will lose is that they take it from the daily or from the weekly but if you quit then you are th eloser. I think it is better if you can stay in the game much more and go from there. I think that is also trye.I need to make tis fianla here and make it from there and make money. I think it is important to make profits run instead. I don't think I want to charge commission but it would be nice if they will give bonuses na lang. I can mention that I don't charge bonus but some of my clients give performance bonus whenever I make ood money for the. I think that is also good and it will be up to them what bonus how much they will give. I think that is also good enough.What else can I write about? I don't know. Just write this one down and go to the other side form here. I need to get back into training and take it from there. I think so too. I need to do daily mor eof the time and get it from there. I can do that. What else is there for me to write about? I don't know.I am getting into the third apage here and I can take it from there na lang. What else is there to write about? What would be the ideal lifestyle for me? I think martial arts training, spending time with the kids and also trading would be nice and martial arts. I think that wil hold up.So how do I set that up? It will boost my income if I also traded some cient's accoutns. That way I can get part of the spreads for myself an also get balato for the incomethey get. I think that is also possible. What else needs to be done here? Just get to the other side. I think valuables will be nice for you to get into and I know that coins are so easy to transport around here that's why dan is into them. You can set up an ebay account and take it from there. I think that is also possible.So who do you nnow is into needs money laundering? I can ask around I certainly need somoen to get me inside of that. Who do I know is into that stuff/ I think cat is into that stuff but we are not anymore into that. So how do I get into that? Develop your network and you can go from there.I think thatis also possible. So benedict ang was caught painting the tape or makring the close. I thinm so. He wasn't such a good tradert that he had to do such tactics for himself. I think so too. He had to show his clients that he was makingmoney for his clients and that isn't good.But this cpouplein th eoffice, they got someone who has 50million for trading. Wow. Hwo do I get there? I don't know yet. I think it is good if you can figure out how to get there. But for now, it just needs to get to the other side form here. I think ane can get me into there or the san juan people can get me into that.What else. What do bad people do in their past time? They have kids but I need to get into the big scools with my kids so I can hubnub iwith those. What about hobies? I think gusn will be nice and some thign else? I think guns is more suited for me but that will take so much problems for me in the shrot term.Or maybe what if you can rent out guns like that na lang and go from there. I can do that but that willl be additional problem. Maybe golf I sithe ideal thing for me. I think there are peple out there who will benefit from your services but I can tell them but that att his time I can't accept clients and I already have my hands full but if they can give a contact address then maybe I can notify them.I can do that. I need to do something about my stuff on the internet and go from there. Like how can I do that? I don't know yet but I already have my forex account set up I just need to do something about the introducing broker thing and go form there. I need input from the forex. Com. Kids showed me holloween with dora.October 17, 2004I am still very far from the rank or skill level that I want to get to. How do I get threr then? I don't get up early in the morning anymore.so how do I do that and be consistent about it? Also, I am thinking of training daily again. I can go to the bpi aikido dojo and make it from there. At least there will be some reason for me to train daily again. The thing is, I need to do something about the Tuesdays snd Thursday schedule. Or I can train myself. I can bring the green bag and do it from there. But is that the kind of scheudle that iwant to do once I am full intothe forex trading game?Maybe not. But I gotta get used to not seeing my kids in the meantime. I can train myself then. I can start mordya. How do I do that? I can bring along mystuff and train for an hour or do ten reps of each set and go from tehre.That will be nice. I will be going home lat ena then. Then I wouldn't be playing games with my wife then. It will take sometime but that wil be good time spent than waiting for a bus ride ho,e. I can make one hundred phone calls that way and then I will leave to train an alng. I will get some curious stares around there but then I think that is part of the process.Where does florent stay? Do I really want to go train with him or can I make it training by myself? I think I can train by myself and there wil be a bit of a privacy there and that will be alright in there. That wil be fie with me there. I like ridin gmy bike but it is too hot around here you can't war them stuff around here.So I wil run later on? I think so. That will be nice to do around here as I willl be more prepared to go tomorrwo morning. I have been inconsistent here. How am I going to go from here? Do I drop aikido na? I think I can do that. We can train again next week. That will be nice there. I can go next Saturday or go na lang weekdays and spend time with them family on weekends. I can do that. What else can I do around here?I think it is better that I prioritize myself more than anything else. I think that also is trye there. I think I need know what it is I need to do around here andtraining is a priorit for me and I can go frm there na lang.So now what else can I do tomorrow? I can bring the green bag, and worry aboutdevelping the business later on. I thin kthat is what needs to be done around here. I can do somehint else later on and go from there instead. This is already the second page. I need to go from here and make something aout of my training. I think that is what needs to be doe around here. China is such a big place. There is ahuge market waiting to be tapped there and corruption will flourish tehre if you don't wanch it.These two are crazy. What is it aboiut married couples then? What am I going to do with my career here? I don't know. I don't have to lie here but I think I know what to do for checks and balances here I can do something about myself and dos omething ehre.I need to be profitable for the clietns. If I start to be not profitable then I will stop and do something else instead. How will I get there again? I don't know yet but there is soemthign about cold calling that ther eis siomething there. I have tried not cold calling and I don't think these people know abou tebsites. How did they call up people then?I don't know yet. What I do know is that iw as there early and I got these people to openaccounts with me. Wouldn't it be better if you approached them and offered them something instead of waiting for thwem?I think so too. I agree with bull good that cold calling is afr better than not calling them and waitning them from them to come to you. That is the way to the welfare state. That is where I am now and am doing something abou tit already.So where do I go from there? Just make those calls and go from there na lang. I don't think cold calling is a problem around here but it will be when the time comes along. I don't think I can make the calls from abacus as I can't stay there all afternoon until the evening. Or I think I can, I just need to do something abou tthat.The phones there are much better. I can make a call with the phone mic there and I don't have to raise the handset up. I think that is good. The cat is inside the house. That is assumption selling wiaitng tfoorm someone to like her and take care of her. She has to earn her keep. That is what you need to do aroundhee. Where was I headed to? I think I am doing somehting about my career here and I just need to be more patienat about this. Give me a year and I will be there next yeari am sure of that.I can move these blogs over to the internet already. What else can I do around? Jm thinks asked if I was a writer. How did he come about that conclusion? I should have asked him about that. Oh well. Maybe next time. I think I know no w which tidrection I am headed for at this time. I can train in the eekdays. How am I goig to do that?Just bring along your shorts and you can do it from there. I thik that is already possible ther for me. No need to bring along my gi but then I can brng that along. I can leave my office stuff in the office and just bring the gar along with me home. I can do that.Will my bags be safe in the office? I think so. I can leave it ther eand bring along the important stuff along with hem and go frm there. What else? I don't'know. I can leave the other stuff with me or I will bring them all with tme t the office instead.The aircon would be nice but the kidsa re all in the room. I don't think ther ewill be time for sex that way. Ohw ell. At leat we are all eating together na and the kids are getting used to that. I like the converstation there. I would like to keep that up. I would like to be with the kids come dinner time so we can all talk about the day. How do I do that? Gethome leave at five or so then leave again to train after dinner. Ic an do that also. Don't botehr with these people. I can train myself here and go from there nalang instead. Then I wouldn't be able to make more calls from the office if I were to be home early. How am I going otdo this? It will take so much of my time that way. What am I going to do here?I can get a phne and make my calls from the house then I don't have to leave the house and still get time to train and make calls to abacus from here. But I don't have any money right now. How am I going to go from here? I don't know yet.I think there is somethin here to gbe gained I just don'tknow what yet. There is something else to be gained here I just need to goet to the other side form here and go from there. I can run later after we are done there with that. I think so too. There is one more aargrah here to be done. I think I am aleady with the right firm.i think I will just get to the other side and go from here. There be otehrs out ther. You just need to figure out what that willl relate to you in the future.October 11, 2004I will be going to that oter fx site today and see what they have to offer. I donot have loyalty towards PFEC as they are not my employer and they have don't nothing to gain my loyalty. We'll see what happens with the other one what thye have to offer. I am loyal only to myself and to my clients. I think that is the operative word here that I am loyal to my clients as they give mem money and earnings to go through. Joey is already awake and he will do his laundry today. That is good then I don't hafv to worry about him doing that on th eother days of the week.This is only the first page. I wonder if lara's computer will ever be ok again. That will one day come in handy with some of my presentations. In fact, I don't have to get a new computer to trade. I only need to trade with ehrs. I wonder when I can get a new telephone line here? Let's work on that this month. We'll see how much commission I can get. I think I will have a hard time going to work in the mornings I need to spend time with the kids even just for a few hours. Last night yesterday I was hard on kyla. That is the problem if I lose control over my self. That is why I am upset with martin as he shows me blatantly where my weaknesses are. That is god internally, but that can still be worked on yet. What else can we do around here now? I don't know yet. I think I am being set up here or I am doing something not right. Just get to the other side. It is hard to get up in the morning. There is it is much easier to get back to bed as the decision is quite easy and it is enticing. Just a few days of this and I am already gone. What else can I do? Just get up and go to it. There is nothing more. That sets the tone for the rest of the day for me if I am able to train in the morning. Makes things easier to handle.I don't thikn I can go to ateneo on Fridays. I thikn it will be better for me to go there on a weekend. I think there is a mistake there if he is going to rely on me instead. I thikn edward will have to go there himself or he is going to get someone else to go train with him there. What can id o about it? I can tell him that I can't go on Fridays and it will be hard for me to go there. I thikn so too. I will be taking on all of the rush hour traffic going there. I think I need to tell martin that if he is going to rely on me to be there then I will have a problem with that. Better on wa weekend instead. Like Sunday mornings or so. What else can we do about it?This is now the second page and it seems easier to type here but if vanessa were already here I will have to type someplace else. I may have to get me a new notebook or somepleace I can write on. I thikn a yellow pad will be nice bt that will be big spaces for me. Will that do instead? Additional expense for me.You don't want to be editing while you are writing. Good that joey is doing his laundry today. I can then have the rest of the week for myself. Good that I was able to get up this morning. I almost feel back to bed again. That is the hard part. If you can just get past that then everything will be alright. I need to get back to sharppen the sword. Iw as there before. How do I get back to that again?I don't know. Just walk towards that direction. There was asomething different about me already a tthat time. I need to get back there as that is the operative word for me. Was that my shorts? Does joey have the same shorts as I do I don't know. Maybe I can go like not formal but smart casuals in that other shop. I can do that. But looking at the ir building, I thikn they are smaller financed capitalized there. Don't judge them by that. Looka tht he leadership being offered there. I thikn there is something to be learned there. We'll see what they have to offer today.I will start getting used tocarrying the gi bag around with me so I can get into the training mode early on. I need to start doing some follow ups already. I think it was because I wasn't qualifying for the money that I was not doing som efollow ups with them. But if you will see I am not in the slaes process with anyone around here. Am I wasting my time here? I hope not. I will need to focus and concetrate on just one. I thikn I know what it is already.That means I need to finish that ib applicatio with fxcm and go from there na lang. I will need to go online fore that how am I going to do that? I don't know. Take one day off when there is news coming out. I think the market has already gone through enough already. I think you will need to looka t bollinger bands to see wher ethi scongestion is going through. I need to do that later and will need sdsl for pldt. I can do that also.This is another paragraph. I can run after I am done with this but lara is going to leave after this. So I just stay here isntead/ I think that will be fun I an do my yoga around here. But I can make it back naman for lara to leave na. Should I stay or should I go? I can go but then again I can do something else instead. What would that be>This is already the thrd page for me. I can read this after I am done. I wonder what ever happened with the other one. I will need telephone lines here and that will make things easier around here. I wonder what happened with th other guy who speaks english? I don't know yet. But maybe he decided to do something else instead. He used to be somebody maybe. These things happen to all of us here. I think I need to prepare for that myself.So do I run after this? I can do that and be home when lara is about to leave then I can sleep in the bus and get me a good commission this time. I need to work on that already. Mayeb I can do som e call in abacus and not go to PFEC anymore. But that will be something else for y ou.I think you neeed to make it clear with everyone else there that I am a cold caller and I am not going to give them my contacts and not hard sell them. That is a big mistake there. I have already done enough. I thikn I will do something else instead.I am not quitting here. I am just looking to consider what other options are available out there. I am not breaking any loyalty issues here as I am not loyal to them in the first place but loyal to myself and to my clients here. That is what I need to do about this already. Is dgtl going to go up again? We don't know.We'll see what the market does here alreay and go from there. Or maybe there is something to be gained here already. Is the market goin g to continue on it's run up? I don't know. I feel like staying at home instead of going out and running. That is not in me right now.Why not take it easy instead. Just be here at hoem and do somethng else for later na lang. I can walk later but going to where? I don't' know. It will be good to run but I just don't feel like it. I can go back to bed instead and take things from there. I think I can do that but then I will be sleeping and will be getting up late lang but at least I will be spending time with the kids. I can do that.Another paragraph here. Jon and wife went to beed early last night. It was still not ten when they went to bed. Azumi looks like a good movie but the lead role is a girl and she is so pretty looks like an anime chic and I think she is meant to be that way. Need to replace cd.October 10, 2004Do I want to move on? If so, what about the kids? That is a big facto here but I haver been through this before already.makit a bigger font so I can finish this sooner and get on with my life. How come I am not training in the morning anymore? It is so hard to get up that early. How can I do it then? I only od an hour of cold clalling and I mostly do commuting and walking. That is not going to get me anywhere. Igf I were a salesman, then I should be doing eight hours work. I dreamed I had this fat guy sidekick who keeps folling me around and I dreamed I had an affair with candy noche. She was the girl I met ack in high school. I could have nothcehed her when I was in aikido, but then I had other priorities and she looked like a confused girl and I didn't have money back then so that was a problem back then.But things ar edifferent now. I need to do something here. I wonder where jon is going this early in the morningt I don't know. They are having a relationship there and I think I love her but he sometimes talks donw to her. My spellings are wrong. How is this day going to be different.I can take the kids to grenbelt and we can hang out there. They wil lliek it there but it is a long way going there. I thikn this marriage here is good for him as it stabilizes him, but if he gets to where I am, I am not really happy with my wife. My kids no problem about it, but when it comes to my wife, there are a lot of problems. We always fight na whenever we are together. Mainly because she gets her way all the time. I wonder why that is aproblem for me?What's happening to these two lovebirds? Are they fighting there? I don't have money and I should get used to where I am. How am I going to this this this time? Just get it right. Where am I going to get training time? I would like to be able to do some work in the mornings and make some calls. How am I going to do that? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side at this time. I need to make some planning na for the sensei trip this time. I need to get a final date from edward and finalize everything. I think I can make it excempt from there collection I can do that. How else am I going to do this? I don't know yet. If he persists in ollecting from me then what am I going to do about this? I can stop going. Just tell him I can't come anymore because I canno pay him anymore. I will bring over the naginata to him. That will shut him up.What will be his most probable eraction? He wil tell eward that I am not paying and that I cannot come anyore. What whill he say? That will set a precedent example for everyone here? I gotta be respobnsible with myelf and think this one out. I don't know et. just write here and get to the other side for now that is what needs to be done.Maybe it's because I need to get some sleep done or otherwise, I need to get some more training in also during the day. How am I going to do that? At least we got one new student. I ned to get me a scothc tape. How am I going to get an account opened in stock market when that market there is not as good to go to? I don't know yet, but there is potential there. Where am I going to make my calls form there?Was there something going on with mary anne and mang nestor? She went cold after mang nestor lkeft. That guy is such a cool guy. How are we going to do things around here? I am gaining so much weight already that is why I was slow and sluggish yesterday. I need to do something about that now and my clithes are already tight in the middle and I need to do something about hat. How am I going to do that? I need to reconsider who I am with laa. With the kids I am alright but when I am with lara more so on a weekend, I seem to lose myself. What am I giong to do about htat? Just see where things are headed and you wil get fine with that. Just consider, think. There is a gap between stimulus and response. I am responsible and I can choose the way I will respond.I can do that. So wha am I goin got do in the meantime? If there is just a gap there, I need to replace that otherwise I will just think abou tit and fall into that again. I can clean up around the house. Kyla threew up last night. How am I goig to do things around here?I don't know yet. At times married couples hate each other. It's because there are two different individuals and they are forced to live with each other. What if you were to start something different and everyone will gracvtitate towards that? It will be a different way to see things already. People are so poor working for the government. It is a socialized thing already for the goood of everyone else and it is not working as the government takes everything and leaves nothing for the individual already. What can I do about it?I need to dfisappear. That even my wife wil not find me there. I need some money to be able to do that> how am I going to do that? You can take someone to take an exam for you just need to pay them. I can arrange for that. What else needs to be done around here? I can ask around. I think there is something here that needs to be done.I have what it takes I just need to focus here and make this one work. I need to cal up people and get used to talking with people already. What else needs to be odne around here? I don't know yet. But there seems tobe somehitn ghtat I am missin g aourn here. What happened there? I don't know.I think he is just going to do thgroceyr and go something else instead. It quiet down somehow. What am I going to do here myself? I don't know just make yourself better this time. I need to do these things here and get things going. What am I going to do that will make things better for me here?I need to train. Where during the day can I train? I can train at night before I go to bed. I can go to brookside for that. I can do thatr. I can even run later tonight when I want to, but then I need to stay on the diet all day so I can fit in my pants tomorrow. I need to do that also.What else needs to be done around here/ just wrtie and get to the other side. Triainng yesterday was slow. What was I dong wrong?> I was not training off time. I ned to do more of that and make more calls. I am guilty of doing just one hour calls and getting lost in the process.If I were cold calling then I should go for more than just one hundred. Why not one hundred people I talk to and not stp until I get there. Or maybe just ten people and go from there. I think that is a beeetter thing todo. Just count the people ou talk to as the number of calls is irrelevant.I think that is more appropriate for me. Why not go for twenty?I think that is a better numbe r as I can go for twen in the morning and another ten in the afternoon till evening ,butthen I wil be going home late na at that time. Why not go for best effort instead. I can do that.t alk to ten peopl on the phone. No matter how many calls you make, what matters is the number of people youi talk to.Ok so that is what I will shoot for tomotrrow. I need to recalibreate everyting and see how things work out form there. I wil do that now.October 6, 2004I feel bad that we have to approach dan when we are having bad times. I know I should be responsible for all this as I put myself and my famiy into this shit. How do I get out of this? I am not yet hacving new clients in the office.it's different in the states. Iknow stuff and I can apply them when I need to when I am one on one but when I have to do something else then that wouldn't be right then.I tink they spend so much time doing something else instea.d I think I know how edward feels when he is there alone with him, but they had spend so much time together already I think they are buddy buddies already. I don't care anymore. If I don't see them there anymore then so be it. I can do something else. I can develop something else and I can go rom there instead. Forex is a market I can take advantage of.What else can I do here? If there need for market infusion, that's why I think it is important that you cut your loses better that than to lose all your money and then you had to put in someo more money. That is not being responsible there. I thikn the way they are doing it there is wrong. What do I do then?It is different with performance as they can open an opposite position to the one you have. That causes a lot of trouble. You will need to be more aware of that next time ok. Be careful. What do I do now? He has one of my books and it hasn't come back already. So be it then. I don't think loi is coming back to train with us. I wish I had more time to train. I can train actually. If I wanted to. How do we go from here then? I don't know yet. Maybe there is something else I can do around here. But what is that?I can make this business work. I know the market. I made 63% return last year and that is already outstanding. I thikn it is so. Then I can make a better return here in the fore market than what I can get from any other market then. I will go back to millennium later this week to check out my positions there na lang. I had already made changs to the multiply netowrk with forex Philippines. Now all I need to do is to make changes there na lang and go from there. I thikn I will need to revise copy for that. I can get mydsl and go from there instead. I think that wil also be available in the local telephone lines here.Then I will need to update the computer or just use lara's computer instead as she will be home na man. I think that is also possible. It is only 650 erday for mydsl. I think that is already feasible for me. I can go for that instead of going for the regular interenet connection. I need to revise the script I am using at themoment. I can read books after I am done here instead. Ho w do I do that? I can get a telephone line here. I need to get me a desk on in there and go from there so I can leave some of the books I have in there then maybe I can mmove into an apartment down there and move there instead so I don't have to commute very far. I thikn that is also possibel then go fom there na lang. I thin that is also possible. But the units there are very small. I tink alexandra is still the best option for me as the units there are so big, almost as big as this house and you have the whole floor t yourself.i think that is nice there. How do I get there now? First step s to get my own telephone line and then I will go from there.How do I do that now? I need to gneerate business locally for that to be covered. I can make phone calls here instead. That is the problem. If I don't get paid then they can easily run away from that. If I am not in the books then they can easily walk away saying there isn't any way I am going to get paid and I'd get fuckedin the ass that way.There is adoo in the ref. I can eat that. Vian is still sleeping. I thikn they slept late na lanst night waiting for us. That's why we need to get home earlier na lang. Next time I know better. So am I going off to work pa today?I don't' know. Need to finish these pagfes first before I do anything then can go on withmy day and get hto the other side instead.So much has been happening lately. I need to change the copy pa to the forex website resources. What else cdan I do about it? I don't know. I just want to get done wit hthis already. Ia m still in page two. Fuck do this some other time and go from there instead. I was already up this morning thinking I need to ge tback to bed. That was a mistake then.I think there is still a good chance tha tsensei wll come back. I think that is so. How do you plan that one out? Just be there and sit this one out. Let martin take care of the monthly collections. I will free myself to market ing the dojo and getting more students and that way we can bebetter students this way. I think there is something here to be gained. What else is there for us to do around here?I do't know yet. Just goet to the other side. Work this one out with yourself. I need to post some stuff from all over. I think a masking tape will be pretty nice. How do I do that then? I think ortigas center is a good spot for me there. I think also greenbelt will be nice. I just need to be discreet about it and I can go from there. What else needs to be done? Just get to the other side and go do not edit or anythign just go and make thi shappen. Vian needs to get more sleep she wil have it.Just a few more paragraphs and I will be done with this one. Am I losing th eneed to write anymore? Want to do this and get back the habit of writing again. This afternoon I need to get some thing going. I wonder if they are going to be able to fgix the software already updating itself. Why does it have to do that? I don't know. Maybe there is somehting new int ehre. I now need to get my own interent connection to si don't have to go t o the mal pa. I can do my trdes form in here and go form there. I can do hat instead. But that will cost me. I think I nned to do somethintg else I don't knowyet, but just get to the other side at tehe moment. This is usch a long way to go pa. I need to do three pagewa nd the kids are in school. Just write and get to the other side. I got a bew notebook. Ia m already low on gas I need my commissions to be higher this time. I wihs it iwas back there at htat level or bett.er I wonder how.I need a bigger desk than this. How do I do that? How do I fit that one in here and get a lower desk for writing? Why not get another one? I don't know I can afford that at this time but the forex market I thik there is a chance ther ei can beright about that. I can look at some charts over there and se what I can do about it. I now how ot look at some charts and I can learn some more. For the first year or two, I will learn about trading and I can get that from books in abacus. Ti hintk some of dan's books int here are of no consequence for me to read. I can dosomething else instead. Do I need to interview someone pa just go get something going there?I tink I a more a self made man. Nobody can pucnch me out in ther nose in there I think the ggeneration today are weak but are full of egos. I tink that the governemtn is doing too much to show support for the people but when you really need them they are not there. So what. They nyst want a sempblance of order so they can get on with their robbery. What can do about this? Fuck them. I think there is somehitn ele around here. I don't know back then the world trade center was still up and he lived right donw the street. I think that was big time.w I ll I be able to move in makati one of these days? It's too corwded in there. I think it would bebetter if I can get them to go someplac eelse. Alexandra wil be nice or soeoother place out there where it wil be easy to get hoem.I thik oasig is pretty good. Reg lives in rockwell. Wow. How id I get there myself? Id ont' know yet. But the forex is a pretty good lead myself. The market going up and the fundamentals hasn't change much. I think this is a bull tap. How come people can't see it over there? Am I missin ou ton something here?I don't know. Maybe it is all these drug money and laundered money coming into the market. What else is tere to do? I don't lnow. Is the economoy getting better already? That is what's good with trading with a different market. I am now more a=ojective about ths and can see whtere they are being led to. That is what's good and I can make moey shoritng the maerket and make money also going long. Now I just need to figure outwhat the best thig to do around here ins.I will be done already after this paragraph here. I thikn I can have a great time here. Dan leaves in two days so there is one ore day to go there. Can I train with them and join therm for dinner instead/I can train tonight if I wanted to but that wil take so much of me there. We'll see what we can do about hta.t I can bring my weapons bit that will take so much attention in the office.September 27, 2004I am responsible. I heard this phrase fom rudy guillani from oprah. That alone justiofies my watching oprah each morning or whenever can and I enjoy that tremendously. That is such an empowering show. That is what you want and that is what people want. You should be able to provide that to your prospects and clients.So how what am I going to do with the dojo? Start training. I can do something about this situation here and I can talk with the people there. I think I can make somehting out of that. What else can I do about this? We'll see. I think I can do something about this. What else needs to be done here? For now, I need to finish these. What is vian doing? I can go trade, work on my own business or I can go to the office and call up people.I didn't go to work last Friday I thikn I just traded and didn't trade at all pa nga as I was expecting lara to be there. Should I eat? If I ate then I will definitely be out of the diet. Yesterday was just a milestone there and I can do something else today. Like what? I am responsible I can do something about my life and what I sthe best course of action for me to take right now? I don't know yet.We'll see wht we can do as I write these. Is she done with her work? I should stand up for what right even if it were just within my circle of influence. I think I can do that. Stand up to bullies. How can I check out I like hanging out with my kids see them grow up. How can I get additional cash flow out of this? I don't know yet, but I would like to learn how to trade based on candlesticks lang. Then you need to read more about those and practice. I can trade na lang. If I can make ten points a day that's ten dollars each day. How am I going to make that work out? If I were to make just ten dollars a day trading, is that even feasible? I don't know. But that per day in one year, that is two grand. Not much you say, I think it is still possible to go better with prospecting and marketing as I will be talking with people that way and wil sharpen my people skills. I think that is also what I need to do here.What else? If I make one client lang I get two hundred dollars but that wouldn't be minding my own business. I think people still make it in here. I just need to focus some more. What else needs to be done here? I don't know yet, just sit here and do what I can do with what I have. Right now, I just need to get to the other side and finish my writieng. What else?I don't know how I can get that guillani book, but I will be on the lookout for that book. Vian is practicing playing reading her book. That's nice. I can go to the office na lang this time. That was the original game plan. I can trade, bit that will only net me ten dollars, in a month, if I did that exclusively, I would make ten dollars a week in a month that's only forty. I thikn once a week trading is good enough for now.I finish these and then I can get on with my day na. So do I trade instead? It is a Monday. I can do that. What else? Is there any other way that I can do my marketing today I can do that print the envelope things and I can go from there. But it will be cheaper if I were to just give them a call. I think that will be cheaper indeed.What else needs to be done around here? I think the best way pa rin is to make phone calls and that is why I will be going to the offic na lang after lunch. I can stay there till late. I plan to train na this wee start on Wednesday. I need to do something lamg about lara and the kids not to spend so much when they go there. How am I going to do that? She wants to go there and hang out also or she will get bored. I don't know yet what else we can do about this situation.So many things needto be done around here. Why are there cats in the house? I thikn they are here because of the hfood or is there something I don't understand? I don't know. Watching tv can be sucha waste of time there. I can do the mailers but it will be better if I were to just make the calls. What needs to be dine now?I think bryan is just a talker. What then? I can tell him to follow up that lady in ubs and go frm there na lang. I think I did my part na there. Now he should go ion an m make something out of it. I think this is where he should do the follow up for me. What else needs to be done here? I can give him instructions on what he needs to do. I don't have to remind him for that.In the meantime, I can go to the office and be a productive citizen here and be rpouctive myself. The maids watch tv and bum around. That is their life. What else can I do around here? I think government is too much invovled with the people and that is already beyond them. What else can be done around here?Is it better to call my own list instead? I want to save money. How am I going to do that? I can eat here na and eat na lang chcharon later when I get to the office after making initial phone calls. I can do that. I want to minimize on my expenses. How can I do that then?I think I am scheduled to go to the office at abacus tomorrow morning. I can do that as I was supposed to do that todaybut being a mondy, thought otherwise. I can do that tomorrow I can wil go to abacus tomorrow.Ok. That settles it.w hat else needs to be done around here> finish these pages and go from thee. I will have breafast a little later on. Where ar eth ecookies? I thin laar hid thm in her cabinet. There is still ice cream but that isn't much. I need to diet na as yesterday was only a break. I want to get in the swing method na. What if I were asked about the money. I tell them I left it at the office in my waller. Folder. I can tell them that.Then I will be bringning a lot of stuff on Wednesday. I can do that. That will be minimal n alang and can go from there. It is almost at ths halfway mark. I can check outmy emails later. I would like to trade instead, but then there are a lot of things to do around here pa. What else need sot be done here? Make those call, develop and learn yourself from this. What else? I need to learn more about selling. I think you get the picture as to what needs to be done around here. I think I got the picture there. I will get ready for work after I am done with this and go to makati take that long trip there. I can will do that after I am done with this.I will just bring vian to the store next door and get her something from there. I can home latwe na from here. I thin I need to develop a trading strategy from here from makati. How can I do that? I think I can check out the local directory.i think you can do that from the internet but there isn't one at the moment.There is. You just need to look for it in google. I think I can do that and send them something from where I am. I wonder if lara was able to deliver na may letter? I thin that is not good. I tihnk it will be better if I weer to do that from makati coming from the office nad trade from there one.I can come home late from that but that is the price I need to pay. Then I will be more productive that way. I think there are interenet cagfes around there. I need to look for them lang. I think I can do that. There will be several and I can make a choice from there. I will dosoemthing about that today.And I will be replaicng th e notebook pa today as it will only have this week nalang. Will it be caheper if I went to the office or trade na lang? I thin I nee dot make them phone calls. That is the gameplan anyway.September 17, 2004How come I seem to get stuck all the time? I was thinking I'd train if it wasn't raining too hard, there was just a slight drizzle, but I went back into bed. How am I going to do this? Maybe train in an open space where people will see me that way I get to get some commitment going for myse;f. do I want to write pa or do I get on with my day na lang? I can write later.September 10, 2004Ok. So do I train today, or run then pick up lara? I can run then bring kids along with me but what will I be doing at home till five in the afternoon. Or I can trade then go pick up lara. Either way we come home late na. What else can I do around here? I don't know. What else can I do around here?I can write copy, I can go to sleep for a whileand run later. I don't want to eat as I will just be eating the rest of the weekend. Will I be able to train on Saturday? I don't know. If I go out that will be additional expense for me. What else will I do later? This shirt I am wearing here is pretty tithgt. There is so much going to go down in this country and I think that is such a loss for all of us that the administration us unable to do something about.What happened and brought about all that movement in the movement in the coutnry? I don't know yet. I am bored now what else can I do here? I don't feel like wrting on this computer as the keyboard is a bit catchy and not as soft as a laptop computer. Therer is three pages of this. If I don't train then I haven't been consistent with my business, but I had been able to send out some mailer. What else can I do in the meantime> I can bring the kids tonight, but I will be coming out late. What else is there for me to do later? I can trade, that is something there but that will cost me a hundred buks and the money I have is only good for one week. How else can I do this?What will I do around here? I had already sent out two mailers and it should have been done so a long time ago, three days ago. How can I make my data smaller? I don't know yet. What else can I do about this> I don't know. I haven't had lunch yet, what else can I do around here? I don't know yet. Maybe I can write sometime later.August 28, 2004I didn't train again. The alarm didn't sound off. I woke up past five na and I think that was already too late. This is not consistent enough for me. What to do? I can set lara's alarm and then turn it off and set it again so I will have back up instead of buying an alarm clock myself. That is another day's work funds more for me. I tink that is good enough for now. Asians look the same indeed.There is n-elephants can swim? That is nice then. I like that. I didn't know that. Should I write na lang later? I am upset with myself I am not doing what I am supose to be doing here. What else can I do? There is the weapons. Should I turn it over to them? I think I should as that is duty. They can get the oterhs from edward instead. He don't bring them naman anyways. Where are those weapons?I don't use them naman anyway here. Not yet though. But I will get to that. If I were to go full time in the office, then I don't have to worry about the weapons na lang. I can get something else instead later. I think that will only be fair. I don't think I can do something else instead.How can this be right now? I don't know yet. In the philippines, if there were elephants, then it would have been eaten a long time ago. But the carabaos have survived. If these were here and they were seen as bests of burden, then they would have survived till now. They would be seen also as tourist attractions. That will be good for these beasts also. Am I losing interest in my writing? I think so. There are so many stuff here I need to take care of but this is quadrant II activity and this ic an take care of na lang. Now why are the kids crying again? I don't know. I have ampalaya supplements. That isonly to kick start glucagon production in me like sweets can stimulate production of insulin, then there must be something there that will stimulate production of it's counteerpart.Let her cry and let them take care of their own concerns. They can do that, but she cries so irritably loud. News is silly here. What else can we do in this country? Does she have the leadership to lead us out of this crisis? I don't think they have it in them.What did she do then? And why is she not doing anything about it then? I don't know, but maybe she is doing somethin about it. I want to finish this now. What am I going to do around here? I don't know yet. What can we do about this? Some books are a dud, but some are really good. What am I going to eat today? I don't know yet. Is the car in here? I wonder what's happening at home when I am away? This is specifically the reason. Maybe she plans to clean up the room while watching tv. I don't hve anything with that as long as the work gets done. People like that I wouldn't get as employee of mine as that will be something that wil be productive. What do we do with the kids here? I don't know. But whenever I can , I will just bring them along with me everywhere I go.Lara can help me out in the business as she will also benefit from this. I can set up a forex trading consulting company and that will then work to gain the commissions earned. I can talk with the people there na lang. I need to set up my corporation here. This is just the second page here. I hope she So much distractions here. What are we going to do around here? It's not the people, it's the ones in the government. What should be done about this? I don't know. Maybe get them out of there on eby one and we will be done with that. What else can I do about this? I don't know .this writing is pretty slow here and what else is there for me to do in the meantime? I don't know yet. I want to finish tis muna for now and get on with my day. I don't know if I can train here. But I think that is the direction to which I am headed to. I can give the naginata out there, but there is another one with edward there. How can I make them see that they can use that instead?I can go na on Saturdays. I have the money to pay back stella's money. I can do the collections again, but then I can do something else to do something else instead. I can do that. Bit what else can I do here? Just focis on what needs to be done and then do something else. Are w egoing to leave later? I don't know what lara's plans are. If I brought the weapons there then I can train regulary. Then I will not be able to spend time with the kids as much as I want to. How can I deal with that now? I don't know. I am running low on patience here. Maybe I am getting hungry na. I don't want to leave these kids here at home right now. I justwant to be here with them an spend time with tthme. What else can I eat around here? Vian will like the omelette. I can eat that with her. I'm supposed to give vanessa money so she can buy pork. I can go to tropical hut instead and buyprok. I can take the kids and buy water na. That will be nice. I can weigh myself and they can get something they will want themselves. But first, we need to eat first. What else can I eat out there? Fruits? I don't know. What else is there out there?The reason I can last out there is that there is so much to do I don't even have to think how am I going to finishthis with all that distractions? I don't know yet. But for now, I just need to finish these. One more page to go.How did the curor jump thter? I don't know. I ithink it will be fair for these lovely and jon will tell me naman if the kids are not bein g treated ight. Do I want to eat pasta? I don't think that will be good for me. I think it is their faiult, these government people that that lady in centry tuna is a hottie. I like her. There is nice tan, but she is manang pretty conservative there. The robin padilla movie is a bummer. I think that is more because of the special effects of these show. What else can we do aroun ere/ just finish writing and get on with it.The kids are playing and I am still in page two. Just finish this one paragraph at a time. Maybe I can get other people to join me here. I think if officers don't do their job then they get a life ending sentence. That will get them out out of our hair. I think that is what we should do here.What else are we going to do about this? I don't know yet. I think we need to take care of that instead. What are we getting outselves into this time. One needs to devote and dedicate and to give one's life for that so that others will benegit. That needs to be somehting to be done about that. These shows they are just a diversion here.You don't know what is there so what are we going to do about this? Already I page three here. I think there is so mch focus on the outside and non on the inside. What elseJust get to the oteer side. I think we can take sensei there but that will be secondary gain. That is not a spiritual experience. To get to the spirit there should be somehting there. But these social people look like they are not hitting the spot with me.I want to be finished with tis na and get on with my day. I svanessa doig a good job with the kids? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side and do something about it and ge tto the other side. What else am I going to write about here?I feel light. I thikn that will already have entered my system. Let's try leaving the weapons there and see where we can go from there. At least I don't have to worry about those and I can train better that way.But the weapns with edward are not doing anything there/ what else? I am getting hungry na I wan tot be over and done with this na. The kids are going to learn discipline here. Vina doesn't have playmeate withher but she can play with her sisters naman if she knows if she wants to.I love my kids and what is the best way to spend the days with them? Do the work then leave the weekends good witht hem. I thikn that is what's good for us right now. I need to be more diligent with these and then do the corectiong Vian needs a shower so I can put medicine on her. She can be a sweet child when she is not in the temper. What else can be done abot that/ ia m getting lazy here wit the typing. Just get to the oter side.My y fingers feel lazy at this time. I am about halfway throgh. I wonder what the plans are around here. What else can I write about? I don't know. Maybe we can send something to those people out there.I guess I can attend to these kids na lag muna and do these na lang later. I can do that. The kids just had milk I don't think it will be easy to feed them at this time. I can do the adobo later on what else can we write abou there? I don't know. That will be additional funds for us.I am past halfway here. The kds are plalying. How will this be different at this time? I don't know yet. Why not take it na lang yourself and then attend eregularly? I can do that. But that will make it easier for me to go and it will require me to go there na lang regularly. I can do that also. What else?I can do a lot of things in the meantime. What else is there to do ? I don't knoe uet. Ther eis really something here for me to do. I think I can go for a semi calbo haircut and go from there. I can go do that. That is more aceptable for me here.But will that be good for my business here. What else is there to do around here. I am done.August 22, 2004Good. I was abl to train this morning. It was a bt slow. There were plenty on my head. Maybe when that is more quiet then the training will progress, but for now, I will work with what I have. I wonder what kuting did to the computer and it is all busted up? Maybe she was clicking on a lot of things and she couldn't make it work, and now it is beat up I wonder which files I need in there. This keyboard isn't as soft as I wanted it to be. Maybe it needs some practice so it will be softer. The one in mil caf・I like it also the colr. It doesn't look so dirty.I haven't gotten a reply from thenm yet if they'll reinstall the fxcm software. I wish they would so I can trade there even on Friday eveninngs. Then we can go see the last full show. If that is possible. I thiink it will be. They close at 9 and last full show is after 9. I can do that.Where else can I go for my internet connection? Why not find someone who knows these people? Reggie has internet connections and is into software development. Maybe he can help. I don't know yet. To go to his place, that is a long trip for here besides, lara needs her data. I can bring it there and then see what we can do but then everyone will have to come along. But that is a network that needs developing there. He's a nice guy. Maybe we can, we'll see what we can do there. If lara wants to we can go there but then we will be out the rest of the day and that will be an additional expense. Eating donuts isn't that great. I need something to fil me up good and that is regular training. I like it better when I am training consistently.How am I going to get that back? Imagine back then I would go to makati pa just to train in gym. That was such a long wy to go and there were so much risk involved in that. Good thing I don't do that anymore. That was the time when sensei was last here. And I didn't help out at that time. Will I do the same ths time? Last time I didn't get much training then. We'll see what happens this time.What else can I write about? I wonder if they are going to make it work this time? I don't know yet. If I were going to do that again take a leave of absense, then what will happen to my clients? I will be out the whole day and even at nights. I think lara should have resigned na by then and I will need internet connection.If I can network with other groups then maybe we can get someone else to pay for the trip. I wonder what mike did with kraft phils demo? I don't think I can do that at this time I will feel like a fake doing that. I could improvise but people wll be able to see through tat. Then tehre will be the die hard grapplers. That will be a problem there. Is jon already awake? Maybe he has some sleep problems. He is hooked in marijuana. I am glad I am already past that. I did not let it get a grip on me na. Good thing. I wanted to lose weight then and I was able to extract mysel ffrom that. I wonder what happened to gary besa? He was also a confused kid. I was into that sort of thng already. Good thing I wasn't kicked out or my mom would have killed me also as joey had been hacked to pieces at that time.Would I do the same with my kids? I don't know. Were apologies offered back then? I don't know. It wasn't common with ur families then. So what's different with this generation then? I don't know. Wlill I be writieng ehere more often? I can't write with vanessa sleeping on the couch. It is a hard job there. I hate it when we are not doing anything around here. I am suppposed to start with day one today. Maybe we can have more ampalaya more often or I can get them capsules of the bitter herbs. That will be an additional expense for me. I think I can alter that with the diet instead. That will be a cheaper alternative that buying all these medicines.What are we going to do today? We can go to riverbanks and see wht viedeo is availbale out there. We don't'w ant to make that a habit now. That is an additional expense. We can just stay home and be with each other. The kids can play. That is an additional expense and I don't' want the kids to get used to that more so lara. Maybe this is the last weke we can do that.I can go to valle but that is a long way to go from here and it is still early and the lessons I will gt from tehre are not the kind I want to have. No thanks. That is most inconveniet for me. If sensei was there then I would go pa, but them lang, no thanks. I will do something else instead.There is so much anonymity there. I don't thikn I want to do it there right now. Let's move on from here and see what we can do from here. What else can I do around here? I don't know. Just finish tese and get to the other side. What am I going to achieve with this one? I don't know yet. Just write and myabe we cn do something about ths na lang. I think I can do that.Keep the keyboard going. I will be going back to makati na tomorrow. It is such a long way from here. When they open ortigas center then maybe I can go there. Is it better in binondo? It will be different for me, but it seems that there are a lot of businesses out there that are thriving. It hink they are more into door to door. I think better telemarketing as it is more time convenient.They say it is easier to close face to face. But since you don't have much time, you will want to get a better chances of closng them than to ask for interest and then gripping them with the death claw. I think that era is over already. You don't need that. All you need to do is to search ask for interest and you are on your way.In essence, if they can't convince you to do business with them, then don't. they will have to get acepted by you in the first place and you wil be doing the discarding. If you tried and they still pass yoru grade, then they are worth doing business with.I tink that is the attitude I should keep. I think the computer is such an unreliable thingi should put everything in my yahoo briefcase. How do I do that? Some files are so big you can't get them to run there. Maybe I can save them in my yahoo briefcase and I can go from there. At leas tthere there is sucha secure antivirus otherwise they'd be done by now and crashed already.That wil be a good hacker there if you can make yaho crash. I am not a hacker so I will not concentrate on that. I think it is better if I did something else instead. Tonchin doesn't have mch focus so he is into this and that but he has good networks I think and he will have good pr also. What else needs to be done here? I don't know yet. Just finish these then go out for a run an lang. I don't have good socks anymore. I can look for the socks I wore yesterday or after each time I discard one then I will wash it at the end of the day. I can do that. Jon has some more of my socks. I can go check them out on the next time he washes them.It is already the eighth month. Soon it will be christmas na and it will be time for sensei to come here. I wonder how we can be able to do this at this time. I wonder if I can paste that info sheet on the firendster and they will just print them out? I think that is also possible. Just type the link for that and they can just download that and they can post it wherever we can get more students. I think that worked before. How can I post them in makati? I will need to go there and be there later. I can post them in the parking lot or something. I really need a printer ink and I can do much work here if I had them.I can't afford them at this time. I wonder if I can borrow money fom osomeoen aroudn here? I don't know. I don't want to pay interest with anyone. Nahihiya na rin ako with jon or he'd be borrowing money form me also when he is broke and iwill lend him money naman if I had the money.But at this time, I am so broke. Am I going to the bathroom pa? I think I should I had so much ice cream last night, I need to diet now so I can go to the office in the blakc pants tomorroow. Ami going to do aikido tomorrow? I can go check out the class watch na ang muna and see what I can do about it. I can do that also. But I will be comeng home late from work and iw ouldn't be able to be with the kids more often. What can I do abtou that. I am getting sleepy na. Should I stay home and sleep na lang? I can run later. I can do that. Run a bit later and lang and see what we can do there. I can take a nap muna. It's early pa naman and there is nothing to do around here.Do I need a book to read in the bathroom? Maybe so. What else can I read about? The hagakure looks nice, but it is not really about samurai. It is more like everyday things. It is hidden behind ht eleaves the menaing of the words.That will e some thinking pa. I don't thikn am ready for that. I will go back to bed muna and go from there. I can run at eight in the morning later na lang or mch late rmaybe. Not in the afternoon though. Is that good enough for me?It is going to be hot na later. What line does it end? Id on't know. I want to end this na so I ccan get on withmy day. Let's see now.Not yet. Maybe at line fifty?Not yet. Not yet. Ai m getting glazy here. I just want ot get this ovr and doen with na.August 20, 2004What can I do? I am broke right now. I go to the internet caf・ I wouldn't be able to trade there so that will be a waste of my money besides I will eat pa. If I go to the office, then I can mak emy phone calls pa there, even if only in the afternoon, but will that be an effort towards the goal which I seek?I can do that Monday, but today will be getting away. I did it afternoons before. I think I am stuck here. I can borrow money over the weekend, I don't know from whom and where, but I can ask around.i go to the office I will be gone the whole day. What are my options then? Go to the office and make them calls.What's the worst that ccan happen? I get to spend some money, make the calls. The worst that ever happened was that I had to cut the conversation short and make another call. Why not make 100 calls this afternoon, get it over and done with? I can do that. I can leave a little later, but that will only make it hard on vian. I can leave later na lang and get there by three and start calling.I can do that. Technically, I will have to wait for the kids to get home. I think that will be a great wekender for me. I can have lunch at home and still get time to spend with the kids. I can do that. Also get some time to write pa in the mornings. If I had some mailers, I can do them at this time and get them out on my way to the office.But then mornngs, I can post some orders on the internet. That is also an option there I can do that. I can show them how easy it is to make money in forex online trading if only they will see beyond it as a risk. Last night I was thinking sir, if you're not happy with the interest rates that you get from your banks or other investments, may I offer an alternative? You might want to look into foreing exchange? With foreign exchange you can easily make that 5%, even 12% that you get from them in a month Can I send you some information on this?That will be a good line there. I can try that later on and see what we can do about that. But that is so blatant. What else can I do about that? What else can I do aside from telemarketing? I can do direct mail. That is also an alternative for me. I can source out leads with a good direct mail copy. That way, I can fit in with that and I don't have to deal with the cold calls. That way the call will be warm. That I will already have a foot in the door.But that takes so much time and I will have to shoulder some of that expense. I can come in the evenings na lang to trade and be someplace else to do something else instead. I can also do that. So do I stay here at home instead? I don't know. I can do somehintg else in themaentme and be more productive. Maybe telemarketing is not for me. I get the bad shakers in there that way. What if I client will call? Where can I make a phone call around here and post my orders? I don't know yet.That is going to be aproblem there. I can edit these later and do soething about them later on. What else is there for me todo? Right now? I can go to the office, make those cold calls, then supplement that with direct mail and I am on my way. Do I do cold calls with the classified ads for the rest of my career? I don't know. Maybem until I get a better list to call around here. I can do that.What else can I do in the meantime? I will still need a steady stream of clients in the days to come. I can do with one new clietn per day. Or I can do somethng else instead. I can do that. But the rich ones with the school activities are sending off their kids someplace else.What if I had another affair? That will ruin tihngs. I don't think it is worth it. I can still have sex naman. But it sure ads a lot of color into your life. How do you do that then? I don't know. But I can do somethng here in the meantime. What else can I do around here? I don't knowyet. Just get somethng goung in the meantime. I need to generate more cash. Lara is going to give birth pretty soon.I need to set some goals for myself and need to move forward now. I ant to finsh off with this and get going.July 16, 2004These tv shows are such a waste of time. I wish they wouldn't watch these anymore. But what can I do? I can work on what I have. Right now, I can't train at the heart center aikido and I don't want to train in the dojo on weekdays as it is like wasting time. I would much rather do something else. Solo traiing will be nice, only if I can go regularly on what I had planned to do.Maybe I can eat and then train na lang later. I can do that. It is going to rain later, I do hope it rains early. I can eat na lang now and then I will leave to train na lang later to train in brookside. If it rains, I can do iaijutsu there and just go slowly, but that will make me dizzy as I was dizzy this morning when I got up. I think it was more because I was just lazy lang, but there are static moments kanina and I ca't deny that. I should have run n alang kanina this moring. It is frustrating to have done so.So what else can I do around here? Lara will be home late and there is nothing to do around here. What If I was making money na? Where am I going to open an account around here? I think it will be better to do so around the malls where I am doing my trades. I think it is more viable there so I don't have to epose myself in too much risk when I go outside.But the mall banks are always full. Maybe I can fall in line n alang there and what else can I do around here? I don't know yet. Edu is getting older. What else is there to write about? I don't know yet. Am I a failure? Don't even bother to answer that question. I think it is mor a lack of results than being a failure. I will keep that in mind. It is like being an immigrant back when my mother and fatehr were younger. I think it is the new ways of the new world. I am going to persevere in that.Kyla looks so pretty . I thikn kthe kids are done eating na their ubong. That was a lot already. I think I need to do something else when I am home. Why not do some housework around here? But I am concerned that the maid will take over on it. So what else will I do around here? I keep asking myself that question. I need to do somethng here. But what?These lovely doveys are crazy. What would be a good thing to do around this time? Why not trade around this time? I can do three hours around this time and that will be 200 pesos I think. What else can I write about or do around here? I think I need to finsh writing na lang muna and then I will decide na lang later what I will do. I can be with the kids. I can run earlier or something else. Regine velasquez is getting fat.I can ride my bike. I miss that already. I miss riding ou tto tanay and being thee out on the road all afternoon. Then come home all tired out and all. But right now, I am just here and I don't have anything. I can meditate like so and find myself. I can do that but that isn't what I intend to do at this time.Oh well, I might as well just get to the other side and finish this and get this over with. I tink I can wirte na lang in the mornings after I am done wit hmy morning routine. I will be outside of the room but the kids are alright naman when I am out there.I can trade in the afternoons but it will be tough to get home at that time. Then I will have to trade later in the afternoon, but then I will not be able to train or run anymore. I will rather be able to train na lang. I can just keep this schedule here and work my way from there.This keyboard is kinda tough to press they ar enot as sensitive. Maybe I can do something here to make it easier. I need to do something about this here and just be patient about this. I want to eat but I need to stay on course with day one. What can I do about this? Just finish this then go to the room, try to read something and wait till it is time to train na.Kuting is smart. I don't think I will drop katori training even if edward was there. I think I can be patient about it. My training does not rely on him. I think there was a reason lando went out of th eway and I am just learning this right now. What else can I do about this/ just be there and train consistently. Things do not rely on him. I can do soemthing about this.Just be patient. I feel like I am in the middle of the highway and I am just walking while everything else is whizzing by. I feel so helpless at what effort I am doing, but I will take the next step that's in front of me ere and be patient about this.I am still in page two and still one more page after this. That guy who looked for jon doesn't look so good like he is up to soemthing questionable. I should step into that?I am not ready for that. I haven't been training as consistently as I should. I'll get up tomorrow morning and get to it. What then will I do? The people at mill caf・are going to install my trading softwarer pa lang tomorrow. That means I can use it Monday pa but Monday is when I get the money and Tuesday is when I get the dollars from jm. That means I can get the account opened on wed pa and make the wire transfer by Friday or so.That means I still have a full weak of paper trading ahead of me. Just be patient about this. In the meantime, I can work on setting up my account and go from there. I need to scan and email the documents that are required. I can do that in a day. I already have everything with me.I can do them in a day. Just go there and finsih everytig. I can work on getting acquainted with the trading software while doing paper trades with the mini account see how much I canmake with that.I think it will be better if I can trade at home. Sit at it for two hours at a time. But that will mean I will need faster internet and all that willmean additional expense for me. What else can I do about that? I don't know. I can do my trades from the internet cafes na lang while I am unable to do so.I don't need a ruler when I am typing. What else will I write about? I am still in page two and still along way to go. There is so much ego going on in there. I don't think ther eis anything going to be happening there.I am just trying to get to the other side. Drinking is not the solution. And so does eating. It will only fill me up an hour and everything goes downhill from there. What else can I do about this?? I fon't know. Finish this na lang and go from there.Finally on my third page and will be done with this soon. What else will I write about? I don't know yet. Just write and write about whatever comes into mymind. I will finish this and then go to the room and do something from there. I don't know yet. There is so much extra there they make money being professional extras.The prnter is out of ink. I am just sitting here. Will I want to trade palces with lara? I think so but not as an employee. I would rather get busy with my own business. And downtimes are part of being in business of my own. Should I get things going na lang when things are working out na? I think I need to make this work out and then everything will work out fine. But that is the hard part there. So what will I do around here? Just be patienr. The kids are watching tv again. They can turn it off but it is already time for looney tune kids. They love watching that.That's ok. They can watch na alng muna. What else can iw rite about ? I don't know yet. Just get this over and done with. I wanna finish with this na. It is like being on the internet listening to the radio. I am getting impatinet with that. I think I am just distracting myself there. I need to work on that for now.I am maybe half way through ion this and will want to get over and done with this na. Is it going to be good being a pilot? I don't know. Aybe it is but iti sistill being an employee. How am I going to get past this boredom? I am bored so I do things I am not supposed to do. But what am I going to do abou tit? Next week, I will be there like that. Nect week it is going ot be like this and I will still be broke. Maybe I can use some of the money that I won't be using. Maybe I can meet jm somewhere outside and go from there.I can do that. I just need to get this business up and running and I will feel better that way. At least I can trade long or short and I will not have up times and down times like before I did in the local stockmarket.I just need to get past this down time and be all the better for it. I can't rely on lara for everything. I need to be more responsible with myself. What am I going to eat? I don't have food around here? The shows here are lousy. I think the maids and jon]s wife gain something from there.I am writing be cause I would like to writ and this is part of what I am doing around here. I will like my kids to be better. Now what am I leading t o here? Idon't know yet. Just get this ovr and done with. I think they the talent scouts are looking fo rboys with super thick kilays. Why is that? I don't know. I tink there is what it iwhat they want. What else will I write about? I don't know. That guy is good looking there it is in laguna siniloan. That kid must be very good looking ot be in showbiZ/ but not because you are there doesn't mean you have talent or is going to las tlong there.I think I would still rather work on my own business. It is the down tiems that ar ekilling me. I need to get to the other side lang and I will be alright with that. I can wirte with my eyes closed and that is because of the writn g that I am doing.Vian is calling. She just wants to make lambing. I nee dto spend more time with kyla. I am done.July 8, 2004 My ohone's acting up again. I can writ ehere in joey's comuter, do some correctins after I am done with this and I can go on already. I can do this for now. Then I can review the user's manual for the trading plateform aftern I am done with this. Myphones acting up again. I don't think I can get that fixed a the moment.Is this the font I wanna use? For now, this one will do as I don't want to use th eother fonts/ this one is mor eeasier to the eyes. I already bought water. I can go to ever this afternoon, or maybe I can go to sta lucia later and go online there and see what I can do with that situation there. Do I bring kids pa? I don't know. We'll see what we can do there. Vian seems prettyquiet inside the room. She is playing with her dolls while watching tv. This has been a pretty frustrating week for me. I will be able to write here and see what I can do about this. Maybe I can do something about this. For now, it is important that I generate cash flow. And how do I do that? Well, if I were a businessman, that will mean that I do my business and make money from that. That means I need to have those stuff required scanned and emailed and then to make that wire transfer na. I can do that now I think . for now, I need to buy dollares from jm and open a dollar savings account. I can do that from junction or from sta lucia na lang. Sta lucia seems better but what are the banks available there I don't like the big old banks. Surely there is somethng better around there. I can go lok around later.I got rid of johnny the dog this morning. It was very sad for me. We grew up with dogs. We were comfortable with dogs. I think france got bitten because she didn't like dogs. I don't want my kids like that. I will do something aboutthat next time. Maybe we can get a german sheperd or somethig and go from there. But not too espensive. Something that the kids can grow up with or something like that.What else do I write about? Ni don't know. Just get to the other side. The kids are in school the keyboard tilted up a bit feel sbetert to type in. I think I can get done selling my tel shares. I will give them a call a bit later and see what happens. I can go to ever and wait there na lang I meant sta lucia. Then I can go around looking at banks and see where I can open an account around there. Srely there are several banks out there. I will try and find one that seems to be appealing to me good servie and all banco de oro looks like a good bank for me. I don't want to have to go to megamall or ortigas center just to get my money. I need to set something up that's around here lang. I can do that.Maybe even go to robinsons east. There must be a bank around there. Ading was supposed to get here. I think there ar eseveral people around me that are pregnant here. I think that is a good sign. They will be born within months of the other is that a sign? I think that is a coincidence that needs to get looked into.I wonder if france is coming back na later. What else is there to do around here? I don't know yet. Just write and get to the other side and see what we can do. One thing. I better stop being frustrated as that will never solve anyting there. I am still in page on. This is taking some time. The car's oput side. I can make this better maybe post this on the net on the daily baiss. I can do that. But that will take a few minutes. That's ok. I can get used to it na man anyway.How can I make things better around here? For one, get that cash flow going na. At least I will have a fighting chance in my trading that way. What else needs to be done around here? Better my trading techniques. I need to minimize my losses so I can trade more often. I can do that. I think the only absolute in trading is the discipline, being able to cut yur losses. By doing so, you stayin the game longer, exposing yourself to more opportunities. That way, you stakc th eodds in your favor as there is statistically a probability that you can make profits there. There isn't really any sure thing in trading. Just the ability to cut yrou losses immediately. If you can do that, you are assured of a better chance a ttrading.I haven['t been training lately. What cani do about that? Just train. France can come here later na after she gets her injection. Then after four days she gets another one. I think she can just go to monina and go from there. I think she can recommend something If she really wa sa good doctor.What the hell for did she send us all the wayto san lazaro for? I don't know. They are making so much money they are buying cars na. I thikn that is the wrong investment you can make with your money.I can't do anything about that now can i. For now, just focus on what you can do today and nothing more. I can train tonight. I need to train tonight. We can just go out tomorrow na lang. I don't think lara ahs enough money pa for a date. I think I can ask her and minimize the expense. We can just get a cd when things ar elighter around here. I think we can do that. I wonder if I got done earlier when I posted with mary anne. I can give them a call but that will be a waste of my money there. I'll see what we cando about that. What else. Sayang naman if we can't sell at that price. But the price will go back up to that. It is already a resistance there.No. I'll give her a call and see what we can do about that. Maybe I can text. That is the same naman and we can do something else instead. What else can I do about this? I can call the office but that will wipe out the remaining balance that I have. Do I go to ever na? Where is ading? What time will she get here pa?I can ask her to go to where I am going na lang and go from there. Lara didn't bring her keys. I could have left the car in sta lucia and she can go from there. I can train tonight. I don't think we's be going out anyway. I will schedule training na lang with myslef. Id on't want to go to the dojo as it is five hours going there to train and back. I think these maids are not doing a good job. The keyboard is a bit stiff. What can I do about that? I keep asking that question. Maybe I should cut that one out. Am I editing what I am writing here?I hope not. I am still in page two. I need three uninterrupted pages to get to the other side. What is vian doing in the room? I don't know. Just finish these writing and get to the other side na lang and finish off with this na lang this morning.What else is there to write about? Id ont even have any new books around here. Just figure out what that trading is all about and go from there. It will be so hot to stay around here. I need to go this afternoon, go home and leave na lang again.This is a very tight situation we are in at the moment. What is happening here? I don't know. I can't understand this. Is this a consequence of my actions in the past? But I hafe been pretty much consistent in the past. What else is there for me to do? Maybe there is such a thing as luck and I'm getting all the bad luck in the world. I don't think it's that bad, but it has been pretty tough at the moment.Just finish this and get to the other side. Do I train the maids pa to be better? I don't think sensei will do that. It iwill be hard to train people who are not even interested in becoming better persons. Like in the koryu, you will need to ask first to be admitted as a student before you can do anything else.What else? Why was there a selloff in tel after I decided to sell? I don't know. I think it is better to trade in forex as ther eis more volatility there. I need a charting software thgough. I don't want to have to hang out inside the room with vian. I need to finsih thisVian just wants me there with her inside the room just to watch her watch tv. I think that's nice but I am not going to be doing anything in there. Anyways, I want to finish with this na anyway. I can wrap this up here and go from there. I wrote two pages na rin naman earlier and I can add that up to that. I am getting upset that vian wants me inside the room.I can do my trades from here na ;ang but I don't havce metastock and I don't have any data with me. How am I going to do that/ if I were able to sell nga, then I will ask for a payout and get that dollar account going na.I am getting near the end of the third page na I hope. What else can I do there. How good is trading forex really I need to see hwo far I can go there. I need to see that newsweek or time article on forex.com and see what they had to say about that.I can look around for that or ask for a reissue from somewhere. Where else are they selling that anyways? I don't know. But I know that if I were to find one I will get one. I wonder how doggie is doing? I don't know. Better to get her out of my head. I am sure there be other households out there that might adopt her. I think, I hope that she is going to be alright. If my girls were dirt poor, the one thing I need them to get going is toi trust each other and never leave the other. To be terhe for each other.I will finish this and I am almost there na .One mor eparagraph and I will be done with this na.

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2006-01-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

March 28, 2005Ok we are ready to go now just waiting for tita lily. I just hope we go this morning so I can have the rest of the day off na to work on something else. I wonder if she is getting ready na and dressed up. She wasn't really clear as to what time. She said the teachers are in a meeting at the moment. We'll see what happens from here on in.Marcus is finished bathing na and the maids are trying to put him to sleep. That's ok. If he feels sleepy then so be it he goes to sleep, otherwise, he canplay, but he doesn't want to play pa at this time. The ptjer kids are busy playing. I don't have much to do around here. I had the buy order finished na. That's behind me now. What else needs to be doe around here? Just wait for the school thing. This is what needs to eb done here. What if I don't get the home run trades? That's ok. I just need to reach my daily objectives and I will be done. Vian has her backpack all ready na. She is raring to go. Just wait for tita lily. Did she and my dad had an affair before? I don't know, I can't tell for sure, but there is something there that makes me raise my eyebrow. I don't know but my dad, he was had some extra curricular activities. Would I have thought him a swell uy now that w are both adults? I think so. A lot of the folks around here thinks he is so he probably is.A lot of stuff has happened to the people here in don mariano. Mostly from the time we were growing up. Now there are too many people around here and I don't know people here anymore. It is still a neighborhood. I just need to goet out more often lang. Jon uses our ref. He will give with the bills next month. That be fine then. We all live this way.I just need to get a good return on my trades 1% monthly and I wil get to the other side and that is already good. Can ride going to staly later and it wouldn't be so hot anymore. Then I can ride back. What if I were to start trading na and sensei is back? We'll see what happens from here then.I am fasting today and now is day one. I will complete this so that by the time sensei leaves I willhave finished na with the induction phase and I will have lost some weight by then, maybe hoping for a five pound loss there. That's good then.Will I have enough cash by then? I hope so. My finances are prtty tight rght now. I will get there when we get there then. I wonder if I should ask her na lang or if the kids can stop badgeirng me about hwne we can leave. That's part of it. They are excited about it anyway. I wonder if they still have She's not yet dressed but the kids she saw her na so maybe she will get a move on it but I think she is going to talk with the teachers pa lang. If they can settle things around here na by phone then so much the better. What else do I need to do around here? Just get to the other side for now. If I can trade then so be it. I wonder if I will be meeting jun pa later? If possible, I will like to go there by bike, but it is such a long commute going there. We'll see what we can do there. Maybe I can enroll in ymca then I can use their shower when I go to Makati.I canshower in his hotel room, but that is questionable for me. What else can we do around here then? Pnoc is in the fort bonifacio. So they might stay in a sneezy hotel around Makati lang, not necessarily first class, somthine around maakti avenue is good enough. I miss riding to rockwell. Whre did I park my bike around there? I forgot. Did I go there by bike?if so I have forgotten where to park around there.If we go we go. Maybe by the way I see things I might go na lang after lunch, it takes an hour then I go to trade na lang and finish late. No rush with me as it is a Monday and it is a fasting day for me. So be it then. I can get to the other side here. So many kids here right now. Wish my mom were still here, but then that will be different arrangements around here. All kids get good grades when they are younger.Edward accepts pe classes. That is an abomination. Can't teach that as --I guess we will be leaving around three pa. Then I can't trade anymore? I don't know. So be it then. I can ride na lang later then. Kuting can go grade one. That be good then kyla can go with andre in kinder but then she is shy and andre is not so he will hang out with the other boys around there. That's how it is. So what do I do around here in the meantime?Just get to the other side for now. I can write. I can read. I just wait for time to get there. Where is lara going to get money for enrollment? I don't know yet. I just don't know.This is already page three. I will be done with this hsortly. Will I be able to trade pa? I think so. Just finish much later. Do I hae money to trade the rest of the week? I can save much more now as I have the bike going around. That's good.There isn't going to be training this week as martin is still in europe maybe aaron and stella will go. Andro isn't showing up, so I guess he is out of the equation na. What could have been done about that? Do better manageent and rapport with the members. I think the college kidsa re better at target market as they are yong enough and the grwon ups you can catch na lang later.If so, where around here can I open a dojo then? Ask around. You will find it. Opportunity will present itself na lang around here and we ill see what we can do here.Just get to the other side and I will be alright with this. I can go at five then come back later at night for a two hour trade. I wonder if lara has something planned up her sleeves but she is broke herself and will have money Thursday pa and we will be going to the grocery by then. We'll see what we can do around here. Riding my ike I feel more alive than f I were to commute. That is so dead for me. I can rbing toiletries na lang and freshen up when I get there myself na lang. What else can I do around here in the meantime? I can write. What else?I need a dojo name. What am I going to put in for that? I don't knpw I can fix the leak problem some more see if people here are done with the water for about two hours. Maybe tonight na lang when everyone is doen swith it.I can do that. Then maybe tonight when we go to bed then? I think so so there wouldn't be any water disruption. I think I can do that tonight then. What else needs to be done around here? Later na lang the water peroblem, I guess unless I get so bored that I don't know what else to do around here? We will leave later pa so I just hang out here and play with the kids.I don't have to shower na as I am done with that already. It is so windy out side. What else do we do aorund here? Hang out. Learn something read. There is so much to do around here and time flies fast. Make a difference in the lices of others or to leave a legacy.March 28, 2005This is the seventh year anniversary. I almost forgot. Good thing lara remembered. This keyboard is starting to feel better already. I like the blue seat. Let me get that muna.The kids can eat na after watching tv or they can play na muna so they will get hungry and I don't have a hard time feeding them. It has to be just right though. Am I surprised that lily forgot her appointment with lara? Well, sor tof. It is just disappointing that they forget about these things and they don't even reply at all. At least that is a lesson learned for me there and I will know how to deal with future generations. I wonder how I can pull off that dojo project of mine?I think it is about time I get into this so I can get to menkyo kaiden. The way edward runs a dojo is hopeless. I don't know why or how he bungles it, but I have given him seven years already. I think it is time for me to move on.How am I going to pull this off? I think there are people out there who are interested. I think I can do something about this also. I think what is next in line for him is to get a website. He will have to ask someone else to do that for him. He has the graphics capability and even if dan were to write copy for him, I can still do a better job than dan can. He isn't tuned in to the local mindset. And that Tita lily now has something here..ok, we are going to school later. What aqbout vian? So we are going. I think I will be able to go to trade pa later at stalucia. I think we will be able to finish around later. What then? I thikk that will only take an hour then. What next?Vian is going to come with us also? Ok. So what do I write about tnow? Just get to the other side fof now and we will se what we can do then. I hae some cash here. I think I will manage. Should have left the car na lang and see what we can do from here. I can pay for the tricycle going there. What about the orders?I got so many things to do around here. I think we leav shortly in a nhour. I think I need to feed these kids now so I don't have to worry about them larter.March 22, 2005Day two. Looks like all the kids in the neighborhood wants to play with my kids. I think it is because of all the toys they have and that they have access inside this house. Who is playing music that loud. If I grow old, would I have alzheimer's? mr juanitas seemed to be reclusive as he was getting older. You don't want that to happen. Maybe I will just ride off to the sunset if I were to get there. Who is that kid wanting to play with mine? That looks like a new face there. Must be one of lovely's playmates.Kuting is inside the house looking fo rher hat. Marcus is not yet taken a bath. The two are doing something else pa. I leave that up to them but I f I see something amiss, I tell them. Lovely is getting rice from us, that's what I heard from vangie. Is that good? Well, if they are going to do that then they should stop using the rice cooker and just get from our pot. That way we save on electricity. I wonder if jon knows that?So this is what mornings is going to be like around here. Where can I get load? I don't have and the store next door doesn't have one pa. We really need a phone around here. Should I be writing much earlier? I don't think I can get back in shape soon enough for sensei's visit. That is like less than or ten days away.Kuting wants to get that boy inside here and play with her. I told her she has toknow him and he has to know her. We can't just let any kid around here come in and play. There has to be knowing there. So I wonder how the market is doing right now. If the local market is down, you do nothing inside there. Just wait for it to close. In forex, if a pair is down, you can short it and still make money.The cable trade and ej didn't do well yesterday. That should be expected as 6 out of ten trades will go wrong. I should get used to that. The question is, can I afford it. Nahihiya ako kay lara that she is like supporting me and my brothers pa. That is not right. I think it is up to me to tell my brothers that they should at least take up some slack, If I were making money myself then I wouldn't mind, but it is my wife who is the breadwinner here.Is there something wrong with my bike? According to specifications that I read, there is nothing wrng with them. If so, is there something wrong or the matter with me biochemically? Maybe. The two bad falls I had in aikido and swimming must be affecting the way my head tilts when I ride. This wasn't so when I first rode with my other bike. I miss that one. We had a lot ofadventures on that bike it was fun an di really enjoyed riding that bike.But that's all behind us now. I can get a load later around here if need be. I can even go online now if I wanted to on that nearby internet, but it is better if I did it later na lang. I can write and I am writing in these amrtial arts forum on gani's site.. that is good. Better minimize ties with martin. He is such a negative person that he has to take ki from you in order for him to feel better about himself. I too have that problem and I am workig on it as it is. Marcus is about to take a bath now. He has a cough and he has a hard time coughing. Like he has to cough with his whole self.But he is growing up as scheduled. It is good that the kids are playing outside instead of watching tv. The rules I have set for them are good. Who is that kid rushing with my kids' bike? Do I like it that way? Is kyla just seeking other people's approval? She has to learn that herself. Do I set my foot down on that? I think so. I better do that after this. I don't want other kids to use my kids bike as iwill be the one maintaining it. Who is that? That is not muy kid riding. It was lovely.So what now. My own kid cannot use her own bike. I think I need to set down that rule there. That is one of the prime toys they can have out there. I think I should try otut that rule there and see what happens. Ia m now in page two. Where is kuting. I don't see her around here. Jon spat outside. That is not good. He can spit in his own bathroom as my kids and I often go outside barefoot. That is not good if we step on that. I should tell him that myself. Where is kuting. Where is she?Kyla said she is outside with joshua. They really enjoy playing with this boy. That's ok then. They will grow up together? I hope so. I hope my kids will grow up good with good friends the way I did when I was growing up. I will be more liberal with them as my parents were not as liberal with me when we were growing up. Just put in the necessary precautions. I don't think there is anything wrong with getting the knees bruised everynow and then.So how is training going to be? Is there something wrong with the plans I have? I don't think so. Who is that tao pO. I think I should be lining up for that, but then again, should I? We can be saving money there. The maids can line up for that but they don't knowwhat to do abuot that. I think my maid here can do that and I don't want to go through that myself.What now? How do I set up my own dojo around here? I don't know yet. If martin gets his own mokuroku then he gets to open and set p his own dojo also and that is going to be in ateneo. I don't think I need to open my own dojo and go through all that hassle. If he opens his own dojo then he will have an outlet for his ego. Man, that is somethgn to dread for. But he has paid his price.What can I do about this then? I don't think the other kids should be playing with my kids' bikes. That is private property. They get to play around while my kids don't. that is not fair. Soon as vian gets her bike then that rule is going to get implemented. They can only play with my kids' bike only if they are going to lend mine something of their own toys.I think that is fair enough. My kids get to name the toy they want to play. But then if kyla doesn't wnt to play outside, should someone else use these toys? I don't think so. They I maintain these bikes, then I think I should sau not to use them. Now joshua is using my kids' bike kuting. I think she hs being lent a scooter naman in exchange for that, but I am going to implement that rule pretty soon.I think I have this aura of leaderhsip here. Martin worked hard for his level, then we'll see how things go around here. Can he teach already? I don't know. I need to get back that bo here or maybe better yet, get one made na lang for my own so I don't have to worry about anyone around here.I need to setup a good dojo here. Do I need to compete with the other people? I don't think so. Just work with what you have and do the best with what you have. Do I need to go to the center? I don't know. But it is going to be el cheapo if iwere to go there and my taxes our taxes has paid for it already. I think it is better that we go there na lang. Should I tell the maid to go there na? I can bring vian in there and see what we can do there.That is going to be a problem here. I think I really need to do something about my finances here an dimprove my current situation. And I will do that through trading. I was there before and I am still in the game I am glad I did that.March 21, 2005Day on elara went back to work na. It feels different but that was two months worth of undisciplined lifestyle. Now I am close to sensei coming here and I am truly unprepared for this. What now?Just get on with the life. I can make it up for next year. I will attend training this time, but I will go slow each time so as to show that I am learning something else entirely. Aaron is going faster than any of us had. In a year he is up to naginata whereas it took us more than two to get to that. But that's a different story. Edward and stella didn't show up last night. Two things. I guess he's upset that I train with mike or that he is just busy with something else. That's good also. At least we have something else better to do here than to entertain people who don't have anything better to do on weekends. I wouldn't mind really but they should come earlier if they want to be here.It feels different on mornings that lara isn't here. Do I go to work trading later? We'll see. If I get a phone text for orders how do I do that in the office? I don't know. I need to come in tomorrow and see what happens in the market and post some orders on the net.I may have some calls today but then the market is going to go up already and we'll see. My foot isn't good yet. I can go to that internet shop nearby and spend some time there. I can do that. That is a much better alternative. How am I going to fix my bike then? I don't know yet. We'll see what we can do there. I can ask if they can instal my software but I wouldn't be trading there all the time. Maybe a few times here and there.The kids are still sleeping. They went to bed late na. What to do now? I can just read, fix my bike, get a haircut already and get ready to when sensei gets here. I think I should've continued medication as there was still symptoms of that. It's what I'll do this time around. Where else can I tradea round here? I don't know. I wouldn't be going there regularly. Maybe I can trade eur again, but it's cable I want to get used to. How am I going to do that? I don't know yet. We'll see what happens here. I need to get my confidence level up already. I am still up trading demo but I couldn't use the software for that as the demo line is down.The kids are astill sleeping. The maids can take care of marcus na lang while I am here and I will take care of the three. In the afternoon, they just play lang. It's summer so I will just let them enjoy the day. I am thinking of getting vian her own bike. I still have some cash in here, how am I going to do that? See what we can do about that then.Kyla might want a smaller bike that is going to be responsive to her. The kids will want to be with me all the time if they all have their own bikes. At least they will be spending more time outside than in. then when they get older we can upgrade to better bikes and my kids can use that getting everywhere. That is what's in this place. I enjoy riding bikes and I am going to show my kids the beauty of riding bikes. You just have to be careful about them and let drivers know where you are all the time. I need to do something about the toptube as it is too long. It will eb a lot of expense to get to the other side. Plenty of stuff to replace there. Then that is a project I will be undertaking from here on in.What if I did get vian a bike of her own. Will she be using it all the time or is someone else going to use it I don't knw. We can't tell at this time. I cant get her a bigger bike because she can't use it. I think this one here is good enough for now. The one we got from megamall was expensive/I think so. Better to get from other sources then.What else can I do around here? I can get a haircut this time and do something else later. I can leave now but it is going to be closed pa. Jon seems to be up early this time. He must be doing something else. The money I was going to use for trading went to the bike. Is there somethng else I need to do here? Where do taytay people cyclists get their supplies? There must eb a bike shop around here somewhere. Ican go look for that sometime. Ic an do that today if need be.Am I diabetic tjat os a tough question to answer. I don't want to be there so I might as well do something about it/ today is day one. How do I get to the other side? Just be patient. Ic an ride my bike and trade there later, but if the internet site nearby is full where else can I trade? I don't know yet. They kids can go to brookside and play there on their bikes but that is going to be a major expedition for me.This is like a planning notebook for me. It is still early. I hope I don't get any orders from here. I hiope joey settles the tel account so we don't worry about that part for now. If then, we can get a tel line herea nd eventually internet connection. I wouldn't will not trade beyond what I have allotted for trading only up till the market open in the us then I am in bed na by midnight. Then the maids will be bothered by my presence in here. What then?Surely we can do something about that already. Low bikes? I am a road bike enthusiast and I am working towards doing a tour. Just need to figure out how to do that. I will be checking in motels along the way. How long will it take to do that? It will have to be in the summer. I will need a good bike for that plus some parts I will be needing along the way.I can go for a luzon trip muna, then improve from there. Maybe go up to baguio for that. That will be interesting there. There is this long downhill that you might want to ride. I remember that clearly coming down with dennis bernal and company. What happened there nga pala? The wife went ballistic. I remember that. I am glad my wife isn't like that. I wonder what happened to thpse people? I don't know. That guy there was a loser. I woner where he is right now. He has a hot wife tho. So...?Well, you don't want complications in your life right now. Affairs, they are exciting but it gets me off course and I don't get to spend time witht eh ones I love, my kids and my wife. She deserves something better from me after all these years. It is going to be unfair to her if I ha another affair. Am I writing these because she might read these? She doesn't read these. I wonder where those are right now the pages I wrote before?Those pages from last they are very ifnormative they give you a glimpse of how I tihnk day to day. So what to do after this? I can go for a haircut then do something else na lang later when I am done. I can ride my bike going ther. That wouldn't be a problem. I think the tv should be moved out here. But the maids wouldn't be getting their good ngiht's sleep as they will be watching tv or the kids are going tobe out here.I think I have great kids. I am thankful for that. They are growing up fast and soon, I wouldn't be the main man in their life. But that's ok. I am just a steward here to get them ready and across this life. Marcus is awake already? Oh well. He goes with the maids muna then when he is older I will take him on already.Viangie has good work habits and attitude. I like her as maid.March 19, 2005If I can fast today, then surely day one will be a lot easier for me. Then I will do that today. Test drove my bike this morning. Around eagle through. It felt the drive train felt like it was grinding. What is it? Is it the chain? The freewheel? I don't feel so oc about trading right now. Maybe it's because I don't have live positions trading right now. I need to feel comfortable with that first before I go live, with the demo thing and get used to trading cable.How much longer? As long as it takes, maybe as far down as after sensei leaves. I think that one there is feasible. I already have my index.html up and running. Now I need to get back into trading again. I already have the demo running and the bbs thread and it is getting a lot of attention from the newcomers. That's good. It's like andy's day trading journal. I think those two alone will point out to a good advertising for joe ross as two of the more better trading systems out there. We should be getting paid here.Then should I move my thread over to the trading systems thread? Not necessarily so. I think it is good right where it is. You don't have to be doing like bunny girl at the moment. My indicators and price action plus money and risk management are already good in itself. There is the coke lite. I can have that in the meantime.I need to do something about the rear brake. It wont seem to fit into the hole and it swerves left to right. Do I need to put in more washers? That is the problem when you buy second hand and they were crooks. I think it was I was brought in thinking it was christy's the bike shop known all over as the one with the best stock, but it turns out it isn't and I bought a terrible bike from them. I could have bought the smaller one, but then it felt different. I liked thisone better. I guess that is a lesson learned and I am trying to make do with that then.How will this day be? Can I train later? I am thinking of training and going on my bike. The only problem is that it itakes time to get there and the weapons. I don't know how I will fit that in there and the sling bag over me shoulders. I can make it work, but then I don't have the legs for that right now. So we'll see what happens this afternoon. If I have a good time in there then I can go further and not train anymore. I can see what I can do with the kids there. I think we will have time to get prepared for club gym.I had a great time with the kids walking over to the vulcanizing shop. They were manageable, vian weas the small one holding on to dad. Kuting and kyla were acting more grown up and taking more responsibility and freedom there. I think marcus is getting bigger and longer already. I need to get sex but lara was, I was full na last night. I need to diet already. I will be getting started with this and finish this through this time around as sensei is going to be here and I will be using that momentum to finish this off.What else can I do around here? Two more Saturdays before sensei gets here. What can we do about this then? Mike can go and pay for the sensei trip. I can tell him that. What else do we need to do around here? They need to figure it out themselves what needs to be done with the dojo. We need to move someplace cheaper. I can make changes to the website but that is not reflecting to the real happenings on the dojo. What else can I write about here? I got up early. Kids still sleeping as they slept late na last night and they were already tired na. I will be fixing myself a hot chocolate after this to get me through the morning. I will eat na lang when we get to tanay. Anyway, this is like fasting so I will get to the other side nalang. We can leave early. Where can I keep the bike where it will be safe and dry? The gaage is one option. Where else? I don't know yet.There are so many programs on this computer. I am not writing as often as I should be. Why not train like you do the morning pages. Even through the confusion and chaos, you just train. I think that is nice there. Why do I feel insecure? It's not that but comparing myself with others. I am doing that. Why so? He is good in basketball. Well, not everyone can be good in that. I think it is important that you know your place in life. I don't eat taho as there is carbs in that there. The sword is already fixeed and now am working on my bike and my legs to get back into shape there for the next trip an lang and I am going to finish this already. I wish I hope that the mokuroku will be remembered this time but what good is it if martin were to get one himself? Then that is going to be a problem there. I wonder what next?I think sensei knows about these things. I am not perfect as a student for him also. Anyways, get to the other side and finish this. But this is not going to be finished as it goes on and on lang. You really never finish a story. Only where you want it to end. Try that. Where is my story going to end?If it were going to finish today, then I am it is a tragic story as I did not get to where I wanted to go. So it goes onmystory from here. If it were my kids story then that will be full of adventure and relationship dealing. I think I should tell them about building relationships. I think I can use that bank account metaphor.This takes time. Iw ill be done in a short while. It is already almost nine I think we can get ready na when the kids wake up then we can go already. When will I ride my bike? I can already take it Monday. It is already running. I just need to borrow joey's lokc or I can get on efrm the malls. I can do that. It is going to cost something but then I need to get to the other side and it will be alright then. Is the brake secure enough for me to go to tropicla for that? I think so. I think I can even go up tiklig but the rakes aren't as fast as I want it to be. So be it then. I can take morning trips. Get up early, drive up to tanay and get back before 12. I can do that frm here. Htat is going to be easy. Get up train then leave ride already. That is going to be nice.I can do that then run in the afternoon. I think that is gong to whip me backitno shape. Can I train with the bikes lang? That is going to save me a lot of money. I need to get the brakes fixed already then. That is going to make going to and fro a lot more easier for me. What else?I don't know how they are going to set things up. I think there is two more Saturdays as I need to look at a calendar to make sure. We don't have one arund here. They should have figured things out already by now. How are they going to do things? Martin is going to be on leave. What else do I need to do around here?There is going to be a party with sensei when he gets here. What are the guys planning? I don't know. They have left me out in the dark. They do not incolude me in the planning, then so be it then/ I wonder if I will want to help out pa. I want to help out but only if theywant me to.This is tiring alrady. I am now in the third page and looking forward to finishing these already. Jon is going to join us for th eride up. I wonder who else is going to be in there. Were we invited because we were relatives? Yes.March 14, 2005I have 17 days to go before sensei gets here. I think that is more than enough time for me to get my system back into thezone as it only takes five days to get into it and two weeks on the induction and I am in there already.I did good today this morning. Woke up at 230 in the morning because of vian crying and I didn't get back to sleep na. I got up around four and started training na. I ran already and am doing pages, also fixed the loose tsuba and inside the tsuka. I hope this is a better work this time for the sword and there wouldn't be much shaking. Yesterday's practice with mike was good. That was good deposit. That is what building relationships is all about. It is not about what you can take but what you can give from the relationship. Martin is someone I cannot trust. He simply has no deposits made anymore. I think it is time to move on. I am giving the members an alternatvie to their training schedule. They can train at a much cheaper rate even free save for the venue rent and then they can save up enough pa for sensei's trip. I can announce this to the next meeting and see what we can make of it.Martin is more a fence sitter more than anything. He is afraid of offending and getting on the wrong side of the fence with anyone in the committee. Laurence isn't in there. I think there are only a few of us in that committee and it isn't working out as planned. Let's see if martin can pull this meeting and see if he can get anyone attending that meeting.As it is, nobody trusts him. He is just there as sempai people listen to him that way but other than that, there is no actual deposits there or respect. The younger ones maybe, but I don't think that will las the way he treats people. My wrists seems to be in the wrong position here, but keep writing.Jon just moved in last night. They finished late na as vnangie was also going to bed late na. I got up early and I think I am already falling sleepy. Should I go to abacus today? Nothing to do there but spend. I am drying the glue on my sword iaito and there is nothing to do with it for the rest of the day save for tonight when I train again. There is the apprentice later. Maybe I can train afte that but the kids will be going off to school so I don't want to go train too late as the kids might want to go too.I can do naginata tonight here in the basketball court if there isn't anyone going to play and if there be no lights there. I think that will be good practice here for me. We will see tonight what we can make of that then. What else is there for me to do?I can stay here I can check out the transcripts for that chat last thrusday see if I can learn anything from that. It will be cheaper if I went this morning and if I got a clal from any of the client I can easily make a call from there. I can do that then.I wonder what lara is going to do later? I don't know. We have to return that one cd she bought pa. Is there anything else good to watch? I don't know. Not much really. Nothing there that permeates about mastery over self. That is what I am trying to do here. Mighty.How do you get there? He who conquers himself is mighty. That's all you need to do there. Whenever something like that arises, you make the decision and walk that path. Ok. Now what is in fron tof me? Finishing these pages.Then I will be going to stalu for to check the account although there is nothing tehre really for me to check. What if I get a margin call? Then I will be starting from scratch again, but not really as I already have the smarts to get trading off the ground and into profitability. The labandera is coming later. The house is full now as jon is back andhe now has kids. Good that their tv is inside their room. I can make hot chocolate alter when the kids are having breakfat. That way I can talk with them aand spend time with them. I wonder ho w liza chua is doing? She is married by now and has kids. I wonder how her relationships ared oing? She must be ok. I wonder what made her do that? She wasn't really for you anyway lara is, and I am glad it is that way. It has been tested and passed already.But I don't really buy tests. That is because you prepare for it. I think it is better that life tests you then it is a continuous thing and ther eis no beginning and there is no end to that. You are continually tested and you can improve all the time. It is all up to you mate.I already have a game plan. Now all I need to do is to implement it and make it work. It is in the back of my head and I know how to make it work. The sword, I hope is doing better na this time. I need to make soe weapons made for myself so I don't won't rely on others. Wonder why edward and estela didn't come yesterday? I think there is onflict there already. So be it then. I think it is time to move on frm here.How can I make things better this way then? I got up early and already I have a lot done under my belt. That is good. Now f only I can make some money out of this. I think I can if I were writng something here. I think I can write something about my trip journey into mastery. Is called mighty mite. Tells of this guy who works on choosing the right path. You are always choosing the tight path. It si different knowing where the path is and walking it. I know several wh knows the path but seldom walks it. I am guilty of that sometimes. It hink I will need a journal for that also. This is already the third page. I am already moving forward looking back from where I was a year ago. Last year business was so bad and I was looking into forex for the first time around these time. Now I am into it and I am already deep into it experiencing a lot already. Now what I need to do is to make it work.This will take some time but to get to the other side is what needs to be done here. I can get my own computer eventually, but for now, just get there and see what we can do from here. I wonder if I can help people become better by being a fitness trainer? I need to make it work for myself first. Now what can I do about this time h?I am writing and shouldn't be thiking about it so much. Just get to the other side and all witll be alright. The kids are supposed to get up at nine. I have neough time here to finish these. Do I need to read anything around here?I don't know. Just write, finish these and get to the other side. Already in the thinking mode. Do I want to go to the office pa? What can id o around here in the morning? Not much. Spend itme with the wife. I can do that. I can also hang out with vian here. I can get a haircut but I am rtryint to save money. I will get there one of these days. It just takes patience for me to get there as it is going to take some time. So how am I going to make the dojo work? Get edward out of the picture and grow the membership. Martin can join but I am not going to get him into the active more anymore. He's now discounted. That's how they say it in the business world.March 9, 2005Delay gratification, accepting responsibility, dedication to the truth, balance. Of these four, I get derailed with balance. Soon as I get into the balance mode I lose everything and I fall back how then? There are only about three weeks to go, 22 days before sensei gets here. I can still do a diet that will get me light when the training comes. I wonder how many of us will be there. It seems that I am shut out of the planning here by martin. So be it. Let's see what the guy can do. Maybe he just wants to feel like he can do something abut this. So be it. It is time maybe to show some maturity here.Joey didn't haeve breakfast? Vian fell out of bed, fortunately she just wiggled herself out of bed, she'll be alright. The alfie movie we saw last night was a damaged cd around near the end. Maybe we shouldn't buy anymore from that dealer. Not very good. If so, we should tell him so and maybe he will right himself from it. The other dealer is pretty good stuff. I thin he will florish in there. Should I be writing at this time? Maybe I can take a coke lite and get to the awake side. I have three pages to write and will it be better if I wrote on paper? It's the light that is doing some damage to me. Better to write with my eyes closed so I can see with the kyboard and I am thiniing abou tit lang. Just write and connect. That is also what works with kenjutsu.Forget about the pissing contest. I think what's important here is the learning process. Move on. That is the way towards mastery. You don't need a pissing contest all the time. Just learn something each time you train. If you don't learn something then that time is wasted time. Better to learn something no matter how small then that time spent in training is well worth it ialready.This also works the same way in trading. There is hot chocolate. I think I need to check out the account if it is already open I can text that to the client na. I can make a call alter here and ext na lang the order. Ic an do that. I wonder if I can call mary anne na lang immediately. I think that is better there. I wish there was a public phoen around here that I can call.Should I be trading pa later just check how things are going. I think we are due for some results today if the market is going to go up pa or down. I think the bbs are telling me we are about to go sieways if things don't look so good. I did the right thinkg yesterday. Good don't look back on that anymore. Just move on from here.There are not much good movies around here anymore. I wonder if we can still afford it the way we did last year? Let's hope we have diffenret sponsors this time to make things better here. I wonder if jegs is going to be here? Waly? I don't think so. Laurence will be there but she has excuse not to train anymore. I think it is better to move on from here. Stella wouldn't be training much. So I guess we have sensei pretty much to ourselves this time. Aaron, he has to learn the subtle nuances about the art. Martin, he still doesn't get it I wonder when he will start to move on from here?He can ask sensei as he hangs out there all the time, but the last time, he didn't get it. So who will be there? Aaron, me, edward, jm I don't know. Who else amongst the newbies? I don't think they can get money from earl. He's probably left already na. How can I get the oldies to train some more?I can't do anything about that really. Just move forward from here. Joey went back to bed? No he is bible reading trying to get his soul right with his god. I wonder hy? There is so much in the word that you can work on to perfect your soul, your spirit, why choose religion where peipole can take advanatage of you. That was door opening. I wonder who's? I think it maybe ours. Oh well. Must be the wind. I will be running after I am done with these. I am scheduleed to run. There is nothing else to do around here. Better to get back into shape na. I can sleep na lang later after I get back. Do I need caffeine na or later na lang?I can do that later but that is going to get me up. Get some. My shoes are freshly cleaned. I got new shoes repaired from yesterday. Those are great shoes and it has alreay been around before vian was born and I had been walking around with it for a long time. I think those are good quality shoes made. I think the soles are a bit worn, bnut still they are good leather and only the sewing were first to go, but still good. I like wearing those and will eb wearing them some more.I wonder what my grandchildren will think when they see me training with the iaito. Things can only move on in the direction you wish to take. My kids will be taking up kendo until they are 18 and I will be working towards that direction. That is good discipline for them to learn and it wil take some time. How many kids did you know growing up learning kendo? None. This is already the third page.i will be done and over with this pretyt soon. Ic an go for minimum run na lang later only when it is light na. Ic an take a napagain after I am done with this or ican not. I can walk with the kis n da lang going there but then that will be eating time from me when I should be training or doing something else.Let's run na lang righ tnow. I can take a short meditation to eas the eyes then I can run already. I am typing way much faster already and it has been some time. I have been doing this for some time. I am trying to leave a legacy here. I wish edward wouldn't be in the away. What is he up to? What does he want to do with this one?I need to talk with the guys about this. My kids will be learning these and I will want for them to be training with the best of the bet around here. Aaron I want him to be still around. He ahs good training habits. Stella only there fo the boyufriend and not for mastery more like for the attention she gets from everyone else. Martin, he has to get over his ego. Me? What do I need to get past through? Financial matters, mastery. Among the students, will edward be there for long? Not with his drinking habits. He is already going downhill with that. Already I can feel like at times, when I need to I can beat him there but only because I had achieved mastery when he hasn't I think that is the path you will want to take with this trianing.Endurance has to be spiritual or the body will fail easily. How od you do that then? I don't kow deny the body discipling eht body and you will touch the spirit. I think you knw what I mean here. I can stop. I hope mike can get back to ergular training, even for once a week. I just hope we can keep this one up regulalry and not just when sensei is around. I can't afford to japan so I am going to get people behind me to bring in sensei each year. Otherwise, edward will have a leg up on this.I nee dto make my business good then. How to do that? Just get past this stoploss thing. If I had gotten past that before na then I wouldn't have this problem wright now. I know. Work on it this time. I have enough time here. I can make it work out right then.I think I had seen it before and I had made it work before. Now I ned to get to th eother side. The market seems to hae shifted. I wnder hwat else I should be doing here? Maybe try the morning market and see how it goes?March 8, 200523 days to go. The postions I have still carry with them about a hundred each. Still not within range. At least this time, I know that it is better to take ten pip losses, and if I were to trade badly then I will have to take a break than to keep losers like this that will eat away at my confidence. That is not good. What you need as a trader is a lot of confidence that your trading decisions are sound. I guess I should switch to swing trading when I can afford to take a hundred pip loss.At this level, I think what is best if I wanted to move to a bigger time frame is to move up in increments. Like the next level is ten minutes. But then what good is it if I will still be watching lesser time frames? Wouldn't it be better to make good na lang in one time frame and learn all there is to know abou tit? Like bunny girl she watches thirty minutes but then her stops are at five minutes previous candle. Then I had better watch and trade on that level na lang and watch the hourly chart for support and resistnace levels.The daily chart will do for the overall range and majors but the hourly charts are for short term support and resistance. I think I had was able to manage to make it work to my advantage before but I got too aggressive and overconfident at my system. I need to see how the charts worked out yesterday so I can see what I will be doing today then. Do I need to do something else right now? Jun told me how to make their hot chocolates. No nonsense ways, simple lang. It's the processing of the beans that are the problem for me. How do I know if I had roasted them enough. Where to I roast them and how do I mill them? Mill meaning you grind them down to powdery paste then you shape them to round things.I can find on the net how to roast them and where if an oven will do or oventop na lang. I also ned to find where I can find a good dealer of cocoa. Where? I can first check the local market. Who else sells them? I don't know. The nearest one I know is in batangas. I don't want to have to go there just to get my cocoas. I need to find a good supplier around here. I think I can make that a good business. Serve them good up and early in the morning. Roast them at night and make them a local favorite araound here. What else is tehre that I can do? Mix them while hot but not to boil them. Where do I get them good cocoas? I can import them I I had to. That will be good. Why not find a good cocoa house around here? There isn't. the ones people are accustomed to around here are the ones you find in the grocery. I think there is a market around here for good cocoa.More so on christmas. I think there is soemthing there. What will yu serve with that? I don't know. Suman maybe. That will be good you will have to find a good supplier of that in antipolo. Maybe the markets in antipolo can have cocoa suppliers. Do you have them in tanay? Maybe. Ic an call elnie today later and ask about the account openng forms. I can do that also. I told zarcal naman that I am working form home because of the internet. I don't live in qc but in cainta, I also have them na.I need to get some training done. How? I can train tonight. The wound on my foot seems to be getting better now. Do I train tomorrow? I don't kow. Yen seems to be getting stronger as the news said so. Ten pip gain last night on the second serving of ej. But it wasn't as good. There was some scare there. It is not always like this. I need to work on my trading again. How do I do that?Get back on trading. Cut your losers na and get back into it. How far back donw can I cut them? I don't know. At these levels, that is a hudnred each. I don't think I want them cut off at these levels. What is the general direction of the trend? It is still up I think. Dollar is still generally weak. I need to find a good time frame. Iam comparing myself with these other traders.I shouldn't be doing that. What can I do abou tthis? I don't know. Take the loss and start making money again. The money is going to be there. If I take these losers then I will have to take a break. How long can I take a berak? Why not take a break and come back after a week see what happens?Not even look at how the market is doing? I can buy cocoa later in the grocery na lang. Ineed to know how to process cocoa beans maybe that's how I can google them. Proces cocoa beans to make hot chcoclater.Is that a good business there? I think so. How can you serve that around here? Maybe in the mroning I can do that. But that is going to eat up on my time. I don't want that. Ic an serve that as a specialty around here na lang. I need to go to ormoc then to find out how I can do that. I can bring along my kids to do that. How then? I have several bills to pay. I can't afford that really. What else can I do around here to make that work?What kind of camaraderie do we need to do around here? Do you really want them around here? Not just one, I can handl eall of them if need be but they all will have to contrbute. That is what you need to make happen around here.Can I teach iaido? I know how to make that work then make that as an intro to katori shinto ryu. Besides, someone can open a dojo around here anyways. What if a jap were to come in or someone who knows. That is going to be a problem around here. What credentials can I show for running the class?Maybe I can tell them that it is a study group and that we are looking to get affiliated pa with a good teacher. That it is going to get me into trouble with the group is a problem for me. Why not use a name instead? Ic an do that also. But if htye are going to issue a check, that is going to be a problem thereMy foot is still so itchy. I am waiting for that to heal na. Where am I going to find good cocoa? I don't know yet. At least I am not staying on the net as long as I used to here, but I am not making money like I used to. What now?Swing trading, I can keep positions running na lang and if I were wrong, it takes some time to get back to the other side and if news were going to come out that they are going to be a problem. What can I do about this? Just sit back and see what we can do about this. Just cut loss then get back into trading again.I can do that. What else do I need to do around here? Need to learn how to trade then.i am still learning and I have a lot to learn. Right now I am learning tons that I need to keep my losses small. This is a huge loss and it is going to set me back months. What can I do about this? Take it then take a break.I think those ar ethe best solutions for now. You don't want these losers to run away. Move your time slot and get in some training done with yourself. Where can I get a computer that I can trade from laurence's place while I am there. I am going to need a laptop for that.I don't know yet where I can get one or whether I can take out a loan from someone . tita bee said we can approach her for that but where is she now? Disappointing.March 7, 200524 days to go and sensei is back in town. I wonder if we will be able to pull this through. I want to try something out, bring back the old students so we can have more pull when sensei comes back. I can suggest it that way. Then these old students will want new kata eventually and they wil indeed be coming back for more. They will want something else, something more always, and what you want is to just get them right back started with training again. I can work it out from there.How will I propose that? Just say it so, explain what needs to happen, what theur needs ar and how they will get back into the folds. The others wouldn't have time for that. In the beginning, it is going to be hard, but I am sure that if it were fun then it will be bringing in numbers into the fold, eventually.I got up early with an upset stomach. Million dollar babys is a good movie and it deserves to be a classic up there. It is exciting and then it turns out to be something else. I like that movie. And women are also moving into the boxing arena na. The family issues there are so different. I want my kids to remember me as a loving father. That will transpire as the days go on. They will remember me as such eventually. The days will come to that. I am watching waiting for the water to boil. Then I can have my hot chocolate.These pages are not really a chore for me to do but something I want to do and have to do in the course of my regular day. How am I going to get in sometraining today. Where will I train?When sensei is here, my schedule daily will change. I will be leaving home early, come back then leave again bring some of the kids maybe and come home late. I wonder what the schedule then will be? I think there is going to be some aikido. If they are gtoing to hold it there then they should make the nexessary araangements fo the dojo.Move on forward already. Martin and klm need to be shelved na. Move on with your life they are just crutches for your ego. You don't really need them. I was right about that guy. Now it is going to unfold. I don't want to train with him, as I will learn something if I were him and trained with me. I can go for the minimum kata na lang when going to train with him. If he hits me then I hit him back. But I gotta move on fromhere. I am in a different league in here. Better to move on na lang and get on with my life. I think that is why the masters secluded themselves. There were so many nutcases in the dojo wanting to get better at it. And some do will succeed at getting better but they will miss something important there. Better to come back and see how things are going everynow and then but you don't really need that. What you need to do is to get there na lang.Get them out of your life completely. No contacts whatsoever. How do I progress from here? You know what to do and how to get there. So what am I going to do for the rest of the day? Try to get in some training. I will be fasting today. Since I can't train, this is my training regimen in the meantime. Spirit training. That is also important, maybe even more important than physical training.This is less than a hundred pages, maybe I can upload these n alater as tehre isn't much to do in the market on a Monday as I ave some losig positions still running. How do I get rid of those? I don't know. I can just close them nalang and get rid of them na. That is possible. I can take it from there na lang. What else? What do I do till it is time to leave at three? I can leave at three. So what to do till that time? I can watch the traiing vifdeos while the kids are out. That also I can do. Vian might want to watch power rangers. That is also possible but the cd is broken. I don't think I want ot go back there pa. Why do they even bother to sell them pa? I don't know. That is bad for business you know. I think I can tell them that.There is ths guy in reiverbanks who sells items that are not easily found someplace else. That is niching. That is using your brains to make money. I wonde rhow much they are making in there? They suerly are paying some bribes in there to make something work out. Everyone knows where to get these pirated movies and it is good that we can get them. We can't afford the money to pay out these artists.So if I were them I will print them out and sell it out there so you don't have to deal with govt burocracy. That is how it should be spelled. The language is so difficult. Type the way you read or pronounce it. Trade what you see is another way of putting it down. The basurero is already here. There is still some discomfort when I walk. I can run na tomorrow? I think so.Good luck. Tomorrow I run day one. I have slowed down tremendously after marcus was born. I hope he doesn't think that marcus was after martin from the same meaning, warlike. But he has ego problems, being second born like what I see in kyla. But things I hpe will be differnet with my kids. Jpey is still in his room. Why hasn't he left yet? I will gt back to training again tomorrow morning. Less than a month to go. I will fast na to get things going already. It is a Monday and things are a bit slow on a Monday. I don't have to trade today really take it as a day off, but I can do somethng else instead. But going to heart center is a long way from here. What else can I do around here?My wife used to come get me at the heart center. Was that to make sure that I don't stray again? No. it is more to come get me. We have a good relationship going on in here and we are still working on it I know. What line is the line where I finish with this already? Id on't know. This is a good font, easy toread and is used mostly on the webpages on the internet. I can stick with tis in the meantime. I can use something more fancy while I write. I think that is also possible.Let's keep tings simple around here. After this, it will be great if I can do some suburis here. The kids, they will fight, but generally, they are great kids and there is good leadership in kuting. That is good. Now I can work on kyla. How do you intend to do that? Spend more time with her. How do I do that? Sleep beside here is one thing I can do there.What else? Id on't kow. Try to spend as much time one on one with each kid as time goes on. What else can I do abou tthese? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side na lang. Am I at fault here? Just work on the ideal and people will see na lang. Argue with actions and not words. It hink that is possible there/ Set up a dojo for the members who can't afford to pay edward the fees. It hink they know what it is to do. They just need to perfect them and sharpen them some more. I am not there to teach, but like them I just want to train. He don't have to be here, as it is going to be morning classes. Just a place where other members can train and don't have to pay five hundred per session. I need to let the others know of that then. I can post that on the internet. That is one noisy pussycat. I don't like this black cat .i normally like cats but this one is a real noisy one.Where can I train in the meantime after I am done with these?? Try outdoors. I can do that. Joey is a grown man already. All of us are already grown.March 6, 2005Already near the middle of march. I need to go to the bathroom but the maid's still cleaning it. I still have trouble with my right foot andi think it is nt diet related but bacterial. It comes quite seasonal and there were times when I broke the diet and it didn't happen. So I am giving this medicine, the medical approach a try and see what happens and I wil take it from there. I hope I get over withthis but I think while I am around joey I will be getting this. I need to deal with the joey broblem first. He has to get well or I don't get well.I hope edward and stella doesn't come here tonight. They need to find something else better to do. I get bored when they are here. I am setting p a new dojo and is going to be free for all. I don't know how lng it wil take to grow it but that is the direction I am going to take from here on.I am happy, with my family, with the way things are going, even though it seems to be slow at tiems and uncertain. What I need to do now is to be consistent.Consistent with my orles and goals. With the business role, I am still trading, but I need to catch bigger waves. How do I do that? I can go for smaller wins, but more lots. Will that make me better? That will be like putting me in more risk. What if I took a larger time frame instead?If I were wrong then the stoploss will be a problem for me. The five minute time frame is just right. I just need to get used to trading with two lots, then again, grow it from there. Soon enough, I will get my own computer and trade from home, but this is not the right time for that. What I need to do here is to get where I am going get my trading back online. Why do I feel like I am hurrying this up? I shouldn't be.I don't want to retire like toto did. That is boring. He just has money and is hoping that he reaches the end, he still has enough for his wife to live and leave something for his kids. If they decide to sell this we get right to first refusal. I don't know if anyone else will want to buy this as this place gets flooded each time. Nothing is going to get done about this. They still don't have kids next door. My kids will be grown na when they do decide to have kids and that puts my kids' generation up ahead of the family. There are advantages to that and also disadvantages. Those are the ones you don't see.So what are we going to do around here today? If there be no samurai movies outthere then I don't want to watch anything. The zatoichi series was good. I wish there was training on Sundays. How can I get more training when I don't need to pay.Why not drop out of it na lang then show up whenever sensei is around. Give the people something to deal with here. They can practice somethig naman when sensei is here. At least they get into a better position there. I think it iall depends on the leadership. I can break away from them form a splinter group, but I am going to need support from the other members that we are going to keep this up. Stella learned all the way to naginata while aaron was still finishing up with omotte. That's not good. They both started pretty much the same time. How come she went ahead.Am I ready to break off this friendship? I think there is something to there and edward withihsi drinking habits, is going to catch up with him eventually. And that is what I am pinning my bets on. In the long run, when he hits forty, things are going to slow down for him. You gotta maintain and even improve on the way things are and I gotta be consistent about this.So how am I going to meake this dojo up and running? It has to be consistent. The new guy, andro, he wasn't there last night. Why so? What gives? He is just another cono kid and I don't thitnk these gys know what it means to go through training and practice. That's what I am going to want my kids to learn. That's why I am putting them through kendo.I already doubled my money in two months of active trading. I think I can do so again and reach my goal on the assigned date. It is still possible. I think I can make it still. Just be patient and keep doing the basixs.I wasn't able to train last night. It still bothered me. I wonder when I can start trainind again? Wait. It will come, probably around wed I can start na then I can trade on that day? I will start tradinglate on Monday and see how it goes from there. Trade when german opens then all the way till 9. I can stay at home muna na lang.So what are we going to do in the meantime? The kids will want to get out. I can go to the bathroom muna. Can I walk? I think so. I don't want lara driving but I am still full from lunch. I will just go to the bathroom in the meantime and take it from there. Do I want to play pc games? It is a waste of time for me. Better to write lang than to waste my time there. At least this way I am yearning to train na lang. Will I be ready when sensei gets here?I need to put in more hours training. I think martin has something from mike's statement to him. I think we canmake something out. I can make things happen. I am pretty consistent here. I think it is possible to get there. People can come train with us. Can I get students?What if sensei misinterprets things like the aikido training I had with heart center? I am not supporting their system. Someone has to be in there to support me. I think they did not tell the whole story there. Why so? There are not a lot of students there. I don't subscribe to their way of thinking this has got to change. I wonder how martin will propose new changes to the system>I think he will try but edward will not agree to it. He is not going to make money and where are they going to transrfet? I don't think they are planning maybe they are planning behind my back?Maybe so. Maybe they are planning something and I don't know about it. Why invite them over pa? Why not go to cebu when the niten teacher comes over? The problem with them is that you need to learn something new all over again. I miss I will miss the long weapons training and the iais. But I can learn two schools at once. I just need to trrain more often then.Ok. I will check out their website when they get there on the internet tomorrow. Ask how one can join their school and what is collin's schedule when going to cebu. It is going to cost me some money but what can I do? Id on't know yet. Wait and see. See if you can work something out here.Can I trust martin? I don't know. And what if these kids can't really train? They can't afford the money to pay there. How can they train? They just satisfy themselves with that na lang. If they can train for cheap then they will train and will want to excell at that. We were given a chance by sensei why don't we give the others a chance?Edward wants to make money out of it and martin is in it for the ego gratification. He wants to be exclusive at this when others wil want to be part of it. And that's what's sad about it.February 24, 2005I think it is someone's birthday today, but I am not sure. Net time, I will put them in yahoo calendar and get notice for it everyday. That be good for me in the meantime. Thisis a pretty nice font sizehere I will work with this in the meantime. Altough I would[t see If I will be finished na soon. Anyway, I just need to get totheother side. There is still sugat on my foot. Maybe tomorrow I can start trainng ig my kulani wuldn't bother me anyore. In the meantime, I will do this.I am still fixing my tsuka. I hope targetting Friday night all will be finished. That is tomorrow night. I don't have a cat but those two can be taken care of there. Should I? I don't think I ti s free as they are not announcing it. They should you know. I have kids and that is something to look out for. It is better to work on prevention. Jon knew he was on to something not good and that he will get into trouble, but he did not use his head. He should have had a plan working from day one ifhe was serious about his fraud. Now he has no plan, no money and has a family to raise. What should he be doing now? He can aply for work, but that is only being a prisoner for life. I don't think that is a wise thing to do. He should have started his own business from day one. What can he do now? He will go to bee just to borrow money but that wouldn't work. He should start his own business and take it from there. What business can he get himself into?Networking looks good for him but he has to develop his selling skills, which is zero. He has to think for himself. If he has money from day one he should have done something about it. I was in trouble but good thing my wife had a plan and now she is breadwinner for a while. What else can I tell jon? He can go into the food business. What else can he do abut it? I don't know. He is back up against the walls. All morality should be going out the window. He has to figure this out for himself and not crack down otherwise it will be hard to get up.What can I do then? I can't don't want him to rely on others for borrowing money. He has to figure this out for himself. He has to dig his way out of this somehow. He has to use his head by now. What can I do to help? Just point him in the right direction. Working for someone else is not the solution. He has to learn that but it is hard and you will fail eventually. Work with what you have. It took me years to figure out what I need to do here. What can I do about this? He can't trade. Pwede sana he will manage my business abacus for me but he can't trade. I can't pay him for going there to do nothing. Unless I had a good income going for me already. Otherwise nothing I can do there. He has to findhis own calling. He can't trade so trading isn't the thing for him then. What can he do then? I don't know yet. I will remember that when I get there. For now, I need to tune in to the void for now and try to recall what the solution is to this problem. Lara went to the pedia with vian I will shower at around twelve, then do one more stick to the tsuka and I am off. Too early when I get there in trading as bbs are only narrowing and I get whipsawed lang. Good that I can place a limit order na lang. It works in the meantime. So why not just do it that way?Go in, look at the charts, try to figure out which way the market is going and place ten pips. Do so with different pairs and they will go separate ways and you will get your own profit by then. The previous day will give you a cluse as to where the pair might go. That is something to consider there. I have half an nhour to go and I will be done with this so I don't have to writ later when I get to the office. Chatroom, forum or not, I still will make mistakes. I need something to get me on the right track. Why not coach yourself.Imagine you had a second person watching and coaching how you trade. That is good. What will keep me off premature trades then? Do something. You can't really. It's all up to you. Being dishonest with yourself is bad discipline. You don't want to get used to that. Just get to the other side and you wil be alright. All the kids are out except for marcus. Lara needs to go to her office and have that pc fixed. Three weeks frm now pa.It will be tough when she gets back to work, but we will make it work. I am now on the right track. If things work out as planned, she will be retired na sept next year. Now isn't that a better way to work. With working for others she works all her life and will never be rich enough to make her mate retire. I work a year and she will be able to retire na next ear. Where else can you find work like that?How will I be able to help jon with this? I can show him how to trade forex. I can share with him another account, he can trade with that and pay me back in a year or when he is able to. When can I do that? Next year pa siguro or maybe sooner when I get done with the sensei thing. How much does he stand to make there? I don't know. He has to learn how to trade. I can help him out next year pa, but he has to help himself. That's the path I will take then. I just hope he has something up his sleeve in the meantime until he can make enough money trading for himself. I wonder what indicators or plan he uses before to make money?I think his trading plan is flawed. He relied more on his client's buying to prop up his position. That is no good. He is just buying up the market and then soemone else will profit from it. Too bad the stock market you cannot short, otherwise, it will be a different market altogether. Too much intrusion but the govt and you are in trouble it doesn't happen naturally.That is what water book tells you about I think I should be reading more of that as it teaches me some lessons there. Good that there is no pc games as I can do more writing when I have the time. How am I giong to go from here then? Just get to the other side in the meantime. I get trouble tradng eveyr now and then. Eight pips away and I get my prfot target and I am on record territory. I am quota na for march this time. Then I can do two lots already. But the market has already moved by the time get there. How will I trade then?I don't know. Watch the market. Maybe something will happen when germany opens take a position then when london opens take another position or take profits. I think that is what I was doing before. Do ineed to add to my threads? I think I can do the bad trades na lang. What can I do there/ I am not cutting my losses anyways. Why not post that then post the next day where I got my fill. I can do that, but it doesn't work that way. My system isn't perfect yet as it it and I need to work on that for now.I can't be in that chatroom as I am not well versed with my trade in the meantime. So do I want to be in there? No thank you. I need to develop my system in the meantime. It is not perfect yet. What can I do to make it work then?I don't know. Just watch and learn from the market. I need to download and save those files from joe ross from the computer internet and put them here. I can read them whenit's quiet around here and not while I am trading as I am in muddied mind by then.I need a closer place where I can train at night. I need to know get permission from sensei that I can start a class to be able to teach here. December 1, 2004So if the big problem now is that lara loses her job and it is two months away from her giving birth. That's the worst that can happen. What can we do about it? She may not be able to get work. I wouldn't go into dan's office but if he can accommodate me coming in for just a few months to work there then so be it. But that will be a major withdrawal for me then as I am doing something I do not want because lara did not do her work very well. She sleeps all day and doesn't do what she has to do. And I hate that about her. She can do something about her situation. What am I doing abou tmy situation? I am trying to make my tradingbusiness work out. Do I need her messing around inquiring about my business? I don't think I would lke that but to be appreciated for what I am doing he rto be more involved. But it doesn't work that way.So what am I going to do here now? Just do the best you can for the day and take things frmt here. What is the best that I can do today? I need to train. Can I do that later tonight? I don't know if I can. She will be home late tonight as she left late na this morning.So I will need to be home early for the kids. Soon as I am finished with my trading I can go home na and be iwith hthem. I can walk home instead. I can do something to the shoes so it will dry of faster. Just leaving it out there in the sun wouldn't do anything there for me. It is nice to sleep in the room as it is dark and quiet. It s much more quiet here than in san juan and the kids can play out side. It is much difficult to go to pasig from, her e for practice but when you make this place your home you don't have to go to pasig anymore.Then that means I need to set up my own dojo around here. You can't get rid of martin. All you need to do is to learn something and move on from there. He is just a person needing somethingfor his ego to make him feel important. I don't know what is going to happen from here on in but we need to set up that dojo. Should I wait for the mokuroku? I don't know. I think sensei forgot about it already and doesn't think I will get it anymor.that's ok.If martin gets his it doesn'tr really matter. He can open his own dojo. I don't need to go there unless it is an hour from here like in rizal itself where it will not be tough for me to go there. I can go but if it is going to be in ateneo, even jm doesn't want to train with him you become a punchin bag for his ego. And nobody wants to be that. I was so upset with lara last night. She was supposed to come after three but instead she did something else without even notifying me first. She could at least have texted me I would be late a bit. That way I can set myself up for a choice. Instead, she goes ahead thinking I wil just be threre lang naman. And that is so unfair of her. What am I going to do about this? Nothink . just detach from her emotionally. I am going to get used to this anyway. When I get my own business up and running already I can do something about this. I can make my kids believe I am moving someplace else for business. They would see through that. I can arrange for it that I be in japan most of the year and when I am back, then we can be a family. I think it would be better that way. But if there was emotional detachment, that would be diffferent then.I kow. And why would they blame the men when it is the women who dd something or nothing in the first place? It was the little things thatwwhittled the love away. I can't enumerate them one by one and I won't even bother ermemberign them. But if you were to look at these pages, you will find them. Can I just ignore them instead? I don't know. There are things that just die out and doesn't grow back anymore if you keep trampling on them like the grass. I don't know if this is going to grow back up again. What am I going to do? Firstly, I don't want my kids to go through that difficulty. Maybe they will just figure them out when I am gone, but for now while I am here, they must not be affectethey will not never be affected by things as I wil protect them from it even if at my own expense. I will do that then. But to let the relationship with my wife die, kids no classes today. That's fine. They can play all day in the room. I will just act referee lang and then things will be alright. I don't know what is going to happen here. What about my wife work? I can support them soon as I can get the business running. How am I going to get it running if I am like this? I think I get more peace of mind if I had a stoploss going on for me. Then I would be more pinpoint with my entry. I think I wil be. I didn't do something about it I never should hafve since it was the pair I wasn't monitoring. Would it work across the board? I tihn the data was already out there. I could have waited for one more, but I didn't. I should always wait for confirmation.That is one more lesson for me all the time, wait for confirmation of support before you go in with the position. Butsotimes it doesn't waork that way. I know. You just gotta figure it out for yourself then. I pray that I was able to get out even for just sa small profit. Last time it did went up to where I was going and could have broken even. This time, I pray that my limit order was hit and I could have gotten out with a little proifit even if it were a breakeven lang.If it didn't gap up from there but even on the way down there must have been another opportunity there. I don't' want ot rely on hope. I think I would have better peace of mind if I had a stoporder when I post my order.I think I can set up the orders right beiofre thigns are starting to set up. I think 8 pips is already a good positon for a stop there. I think I can handle that. Then I am wrong so be it. I can easily get that back when I get a good trade going. I need ot build up my capital so eme more. I can baon them longganisa and eat them out there again when I have my lunch. I can get my haircut right now out there when I goout. I can do that. I don't have to go very far anymroe for a haircut and it would be more cheaper to get that from ther. I can do that, ut theproximity isn't as inviting as I want oit to be. Jon has more peace and quiet now but there is just a substitution of the problem. It is still there. I think we can save moreif I had the nilaga isntead at home wth the kids.That wil be nice. I can also have that. Kutng was binyag around this time. I remembe r there was so much traffic around here. It rained kanina and I awoke at three. Ineed to set up the alarm thorough lar'as clock. Mine isn't as reliable anymor.e I need to do something about that. Tomorrow then. At least I am getting extra traning every now and then and I am a bit consistent about italreayd. Seeing the naginata is so long ut it is manageable.Problems happen. Just have the discipline to go through it and everything will be alright with you. Try to relax your fingers whle you type and don't try to pound them or you wil get so tired easily from this. You will see whne you are done when th epage shifts to the next already. I don't have to dinish that coke lites. I can have some more in the office when I leave later. I can call mary anne and ask her to send the check out by tomoroow. I can do that when I get there. I have neough change for that.

2006-01-02T22:08:00.000-08:00

April 11, 2005After what happened yesterday, I think it helped me finalize my decision not to support that dojo anymore. There is no problem with sensei, it is the administration of the local dojo that I am disappointed with. It is not easy to go to valle yesterday and yet they didn't have any class. I think sensei himself is disappointed we didn't have as much class this time as we did before. He didn't come here to work on his mp3. he came here to train with us. How come we didn't have as much practice then? I don't know. Even if sensei was sick, he got up to teach, and when he was better, there wasn't any class at all. I wonder what happened there?As I was about to leave na, I tried borrowing the naginata. Got turned down. I guess that's it then. I am not getting their weapons. I can have one made for my own. Martin's ego is another issue. There will be a reckoning. If they are able to bring back sensei, then that is the time for reckoning and not flame wars. That is just going to waste my money. There is a better way to get pas tthis. I am going that way. Two down and then they will see.I only have a hundred on me. I can go to abacus and get my commission, but that may be less than a hundred. Is it worth it to go there pa? I can go tomorrow as there is going to be a line there. I can work on my itr instead. I can do that, but reallly there is going to be a line there. What else can I do around here? I need to set up a savings account. How do I do that?What can I do around here? I don't want to have to trade, but I think that is what I can do in the meantime. Just show up there and go online. That is going to leave me with less than a hundred as I need to buy ubong for the kids pa. What else is there for me to do around here? Same if I went to abacus. Then I can get back then leave for the heart center for aikido tonight. That is pretty good an option. I need to get back in the mat, even if it were just once a week na lang. I can do so tonight. So do I leave for abacus today? It is commission day today. I think I can go there and get some money for trading the rest of the week then.I can do that. I can shower na after I am done with this. There is enough time for me to go there. I am nursing a wound here. They can bring sensei to the airport themselves. I think there is another time and place for this. I think I can work towards that objective then. It is not today, the time will come for that. I didn't get up this mornig. I need to get that new schedule worked out well. How do I go from here. I will feint disappearing. I will disappear. Period. Then I can go solo training. Train with the other guys in the meantime if it is possible then I can do soemthing else instead. Why didn't I get my mokuroku? I don't know. They can see that as another reason there, but it is not. I can go to abacus, then come home spend time with the kids then leave for aikido later by bike leave at around 5 get there around past six plenty of time for me to rest and freshen up.I think I can do that. I think that is good enough for me then. Is it a safe way back? I think so. I can do the ride back home. I can leave my bike with the security guard where you park your car. I think that is a safe way for me there. What else is there for me to do?Right now? Not much. Just work with what I got. Nursing a wound, disappointment, that what I worked for, didn't get much notice and now it gut turned on me pa now I am the bad guy. Well, this happens if you got administration like that. Better to move on na lang. Move forward. I think it is better that I do something here instead of hanging around the house doing nothing than just think. I think so too.There's no rush. I hafve time. I don't have to be there early when the market opens. Just need to get there to get my check go to the bacnk then leave. Ti hink I can finish these muna then do something else instead. The kids don't have to finish their cokes. Kyla finished hers that is why she threw up. I think so too. She was asking for help last night. I didn't get up. Man, that was stupid of me there.I need to get going. These kids are just going to play here and they can eat na lang later. I need to do something and that is what I am going to do. How come jon is not leaving for applying for work? I think he is letting, he is losing weight. Is he into shabu again? That is not good. I am going to kick him out if he gets into drugs again. Sure he has rights to be here, but I can't let him be here. I don't think that is right. How do I kick him out? Get a lawyer for that? He has a right tobe in this house also, but only if he were decent enough. I can claim that ia m going toput him in jail if he were not going to straighten up. Who is going to pay for the bills then? Man, this situation is not good here. I can't just close my eyes here and hope nothing is wrong. I got kids in here and I don't want himmessing around with my kids.Man, this place is so fucked up. What else can I do here that is going to prove productive? Id on't know yet. But the way he looks, I think he is up to no good na. Where are they going to get money pa? I don't think we need to provide food for them. I think I can hide the rice now. Where can we hide it? It is no good there. He didn't even give me money back when I needed it. He was of no use back then. What are we going to do here now? I cant stay here and watch over our grocery. That is a waste of time for me. Man, I can't have this. But I need to work on this that is why this is here.I am not going to get a job for him. That is his karma, I can't help him out with that. He wasted that opportunity there. He has to dig his way out of that. What is lovely doing? I don't know. She has to get a jb. They both can't stay at home doing nothing. I think that is what jon is going to do stay a thome and bum around. That is pathetic then. I got kids in ehre. I think we will have to move again.He can't move. He where is he going to move? He has to move in with is in laws. But then they will have to I never should've taken him back. But he needed a chance. This wasn't my place alone. How do I get him out of here? Sinayang talaga ni edward the opportunities there in the dojo. I had a good setup na and we were getting new students. Now we are back here and there is no way this is going to happen. I need to move on now.How am I going to do this then? I don't know yet. Just get to the other isde in the meantime and it will happen. That is what I am hoping for but to hope for it is no good. You need to set up concrete plans to make it work. You gotta plan all the way to the end.I do't tthink they are going to get sensei back here for next year. That is not going to happen. Sure sensei is going tohear that I am not training with them anymore. But is that going to be good? They are out of people. The best thing I can do is to set up my own organization and make it work from there. How am I going to do that?One day at a time. I can make it work one day at a time. Ic an ask around and eventually I can and will going to make this work. Even if iw ere to start off small, I think it is possible for me to make this work then.April 8, 2005Went for a ride this morning to add to my base miles. Started reading morning pages again this morning. I forgot about that little child inside of me and artist's way may read like an old newspaper. Better that new book asi have not yet finished that and the first read wasn't so thorough.I feel like not going to the dojo anymore after sensei leaves, but where am I going to get my training? I used to do good on my own and just went every now and then. That was the time when nobody was training and I was trying toget people to get back into it. We'll see what happens here. I wonder how much further they are going to last without people. I am not oing to refer new people to them and see if they can survive that way. How am I going to do it this way now? I can teach them kumijo, tell them that they will start katori right away when sensei gets back and that I will not be charging them anything but that they are expected to contribute soon as sensei gets back. The magic number is 40.Kuting is now awake. She saw the juice and wanted one. No need. They can eat na lang later when they are hungry na. We can all eat together. Try to get that tradition going with them even if I am away and their mom is away in the office all the time.I need to get my business going. So is the dojo already dead? I need to bring the money turn it over na then I can stop going if I wanted to. I wonder what the training schedule is like the erst of the week. I can start going to heart center again. The problem there is the smelly hair. What can I do about it? I don't know yet. Maybe I can shower someplace before we start or maybe do something else. I can start my own practice here in cainta where it is conveninet.The two are stil sleeping. There isn't any morning practice in valle and that is such a pity. I think I was right when I said that each was going to contribute 9k when sensei gets here, but I am wrong as there are less students this time. If I were jm and practice is so anemic, I might as well not show up anymore. People like that and the ones who committed and didn't show up, they are added expense lang and that jacks up the price to more than 9k and that means I was wrong about it.I was right because I assumed that the people will still be training up to now and that the rapport is going to be maintained. Now what will be your predictions? No more sensei until the dojo is up and running already. Is edward going to disappear now? I don't know. We will see. He still trains though. He has talent he doesn't need to train. He is like michael jordan, but you can beat people like that. Just be consistent with your training and you will get to the other side eventually.I can have the mackerel later ginisia with a bit of sabaw. I can feed the vian later with that sabaw and a few fish in it. The other two can have something else. I think that can be arranged. Commission day a on Monday. I wonder how much I am going to get this time? The market is moving but not as much as I wanted it to. I can go Mondays to heart center. Lara can come get us from there. Soont he summer class is going to be over and that is where the real practice begins. I can leave the bike somewhere it is safe, but gale is no longer bike safe. Where else can I leave me bikes?The hot chocolates is not as sweet as injollibee but it is good enough already. That is going to be a habit here. I think I was right when I saw the potential of that metro badminton. It is just that edward is so much an ass hole that he didn't listen. That is the problem with management here. I can let them die the dojo then do something else from there. It is going to be easy to buil up membership from scratch. Only if he is goig to disappear from the circulation. I can take care of martin. I can still resume practice here with whomever will want to train. I can maybe build something up with jm. I will see something about that, but what I need is a guy like mike or martin and jay who will and can commit to training, also aaron. Edward, he is mpre into it for the omoney more than anything. I am losing my concentration here. I need to get to the other side and keep wiritng. Whatever comes to mind I write on paper. That is the basic premise here.The two are still asleep. That is ok. Marcus is already up. I thin with ednalyn the other maid. That's ok. No need for him to sleep. He needs to get around and see the world. He can already appreciate it. I got up late na this morning. Is the ride I had already enough? I feel like I cold go for someo more. I think it is enough for now. My body has already adopted to it and I think I can dos ome more and add a little na lang in the future. Maybe just a few more yards going up tikling is good enough. That is a nice cresendo going up for a finishing sprint. That is good for anaerobic training there.Ok. I will do that tomorrow then. It is a Saturday na tomorrow. I need to fic my handle bar as it gets loose on the ride. The super glue in there is did not do any good. I think it is better with the rubber ibside of it. I will put super glue on the rubber's edge so it won't slide back when I try to insert it in. how many will do? I don't know. Whatever will fit into it.I think it is better to do it on the underside na lang as it will fit better into it. I wish ican spend more tiem with marcus, biut then he needs the attention of the ladies in the house. I will spend more time with him as he grows bigger. Lara is going to be home late this time. I need to get the business going. If she loses her job, then I think it is going to be a problem with us. It was wrong for her to take the job in the first place. She couldn't wait.Thatt's how a dent happened in our relationship. She decided to take that job, got that taxi and sold it and everything went out of order right away. So what is going to happen here? Just get to the other side for now and see what happens. I can start trading na on Monday. I don't have to go there. They don't need our help anyway, I can do something else and get started wit hmy dojo right away then.What else am I going to do here? It is just a rank. There is nothing else here that I can do in the meantime. I can go there, but it is chasing katas lang trying to get as many as possible when omotte is more than enoguh for me. I thin kthat is good enough fro me here.I was once behind already and gained everythign back. We all need to get some rest every now and then otherwise you will get burnout. I think that is the best way to do this. I am going to build up my fitness base and I will take it on from there.How do I raise money for that then? Get the membership up there and get the keppan ready for that. Is that going to be aikido then? I don't know yet. I think aikido is a good way to get things started then go into katori na lang from there.Where am ig oing to get a dojo? Santa lucia looks like a good place to start. I can do something ab out that there and see what I can do about that. No need to get into the internet as I can do something ab out it in the menatime. I am just waiting for this to finish then on to the next agenda.April 7, 2005I guess I am right back where I was on sensei's second trip. How come everyone wants in when he is around? Anyway, I am giving up on edward already and am moving on. I have given him several years. Let's see if he can make it work this time. The website, I will keep it running in the meantime see what I can do with it.I don't thii I will get that mokuroku na. They will be talking about it. That's ok. Rank means nothing to me. That just kept me preoccupied and the monkey mind actively trading. I can move on from here. I can train in the mornings. I don't know how I will work on defense training solo, but I will owkr on it with an active mind. So there is a defense and offense aspect to this training. I don't like where I am right now I am feeling like I am left out in the rain. That's ok. I can do something about my situation. It is going to take some time from here. I will wait for the next time that sensei will arrive and I will be training from there. Maybe I spent so much time with mike and I now have resentment towards the roup but if they are like that, why spend time with them at all? I don't know. Why is that girl like that she wouldn't let the others play when she is playing herself? I don't know but at this time, I will do something about this situation anyway. That looks like a nice girl anyway. No good shouting at little children. That is taking advantage of my age and size over thatm. That is no good. That will not be good in the long term though.I can start training in the heart center Mondays muna then work my way up from there. I don't know how but I can take the bike ride going there and go through up and ateneo. I think I can make it an hour's ride from there and that is going to be alright then.Giovani's dojo there is payment so I don't think I can train from there. Am I washed out already? I don't think so. I have so much years to go from here pa. What about fighting? I need to work my way from there and make it work from there. There is something here and I will find it. There was a time when I was training. I am going to need weapons for that. I am going to have to make on emade for myself and get measurements for that. Where? I don't know yet where I am going to get the money for that but I will work on that for sure. It is going to take some time then. So be it. I am working on weight loss in the meantime. I can take my bike tonight but the weapons is going to be a problem going home. How am I going to do that?I guess I don't won't take the bike na lang later. Friday I will keep this schedule and ride my bike going there to marikina then back. That motorcyle rider I don't like. It is just that I don't know him I think but there is something there that, I need to work on myself. There is so much in me that needs refining and I will have to work on that in the meantime. I already have my homework for the rest of the year. I don't know if they will be able to bring back sensei. I wonder if I can open my own dojo from here? I can maybe like teach aikido. I need to ask sensei for that? I don't know. Do I really want to take on that proposition? I don't know really. Just work with what you have in the meantime and go from there. I need to ask sensei for permission on that? I don't know. Or maybe wait for him to say Jimmy you start teachng na and open your own dojo.There is one already here and that is the master franchise. I think that will happen for sometime , but then there is something to be had with this. Idon't know yet, but there is a path here that needs to be discovered. I don't know but that path will reveal itself na lang as time goes on. Just leave it here like this and then work my way from there.Maybe I can trade na lang later. I don't have money to pay naman e. what else can I do about this situation here? Id on't know yet. Just go and do what needs to be done. Right now, it is to get this mronign pages finished then work my way rfom here.It is sad, but I need to get away from that guy. He doesn't take consideration of others. So be it then. Time will tell if I made the right decision or not. But for now, I think this is the right path for me to take. Aaron, he is disciplined. He will get there eventually. He has money. They will take only people with the money if they don't have money theen nothing will happen they will not take them in. do I need to ask sensei about it then?I don't know. If so, then people will not pay na lang as they can get away with not paying at all. That's what I did all these years. I did good service naman if I didn't pay. Is tat what's wrong with my system here? I don't know. Do I need to pay heart ceneter if I am going to train there? I don't know pa. We'll see what we can do therer and maybe I can start my own dojo an dtach from here. That is something else to consider. What else? That the rent I cannot afford to pay. Besides, I don't have mats. Ican train with lara but will she want to train with me? I can ask her. She will want to spend time with her husband though. I can ask her that later on. I need to upload these pages na. This is going to be a big file when I get there and it gets difficult to upload files like these if they are very bitg.I can also work on weightloss in the meantime. I have my bike, with weightloss will come speed and I need to work on my breathing also. Where am I going to do that? Ican ride on the weekends longer. That I can do. I can ride twice a day and that is already good for me on weekends. Weekdays I can ride once a day working on building my fitness base. Maybe lara can just pay them nalag but no, I need to face the music from here. Be a man here. Jay didn't pay and they let him train. I was there all thetime. I should have decided not to train but I learned something already and that is already worth it. Besides, mike paid for it really so it is no big deal for me here.We get abacus commission on Monday. I can go to work from there. I don't think I am part of th einneer circle right now. Let the years go on and you will learn something from there. I can have a bo made muna then take it from there. I need to get my income level up though. How am I going to do that? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side each day take it one ounce a day for the discipline and all things will work out just right. No need to support them anymore. They will talk about it for years to come. They can talk about it all they want. You will know about it anyway and I will tak eit from there an lang. What else do I do about it then? That is interestig the aikitaichi. What is there to learn from here? I can work on developing them katas and master them stance and everything. That is good for a year's work. Then I will work on it one day at a time. Work on one kata then add another one each time. I can do training twice a day from there. That I can do and that Is going to get me preoccupied for the rest of the year.I leave after lunch but nothing happens till three in the afternoon. I need to leave early kasi I need to catch the color coding scheme. Then I can just hang out na lang from there.March 31, 2005Marunong na si kuting magbike! I saw it yesterday that she was riding not on the training wheels anymore. Good thing I was working on vian's bike took off the trainers and she saw it, rode it and went from there. Now kyla is working on hers. I think that's how you learn. Now that is how I am going to work on my katori.I think there is no need for a breakaway group. It's just that I will stop showing up there in his dojo maybe show up every now and then once a month and give them a run for their money. I think I can do that solo and get there while working on my base fitness level. Then when I do show up I can give them a hard time. I did that before. I just need to make this a spiral learning then come back in.So do I pay pa for the sensei trup? I think I should. That is part of it. I can only pay so much though. I need to say that up front, so they will decide how much I can pay. If they let me train, then so be it, if I can't then so be it also. I need to be frank about it up front. Better they lend me with potential to pay for a year, but that si going to put me at a disadvantage as I will owe them a debt of gratitude on top of the loan. I don't think I want that.So how am I going to do this? Just work with what you have and see what you can do from here. I can do something else. I think edward should have negotiated with a better schedile and martin might not have worked at it very well. The schedule is too late. Next year, I can just show up whenever sensei is around and do not have to show up for training in their dojo then. I can train with mike or whomever wants to do extra training. I can do that. This needs to be a lower keyboard. It is too high.Is this ok with the stand on? I think I feel this is better as I don't have to reach over so much. Imiss riding like before. There was no fear there. My backyard was quezon city and I rode a lot back then. Now my backyard is rizal province and it is better training in here. I am not as aggressive as I was before. Maybe there are things that you should be considering here. I think it is just human nature to test one's limits and you can't really get around that.The kids had breakfast na. I had so with them and that is nice. I can leave a little bit later on. I will put back the training wheels for vian's bike when she is ready for it. Kyla will need to ride pa some more I think she wil do better if I ran beside her get her used to the idea of pedalling while the bike is in motion. She could do it but she is not at that level yet. She is younger by a year and she is better than kuting if you were to compare age capacity.But we don't do that here. Just work with what is there and move on from there na lang. Tis is line 6. do I coutn the lines pa? No, just write and don't worry about punctuations and everything else. Just write, move the ucrsor across the page and make it work from there. What is there anything else I should be doing here? I can ride ging to stalucia. I feel better that way having rode, even if it is going to be hot. I just need to get used to that. I can go on shorts, but I don't have decent shoes for that.I will go by pants then. I need to get used to trading already. There is still so much fear in me. How do you get rid of that? Go for high probability trading muna then take it from there. Take it one step at a time. I will be losing some, but I need to do some winning then I can take it from there na lang.I think there are market makers that trick us into gettiing into the trade then the momentum stops. There is no perfect indicator for that. Just let the profits run, I need to learn how to do that then. What else is there for me to do? Marcus is cring. He has a hard time with that injection of his. What is there? Give it three days and maybe you can start worrying already.They are pressing multiple murder charges to that fellow who sold the poisoned casava cakes in bohol. That is unfortunate. How did that happen? Maybe it was just bad luck for the gy. Marcus is crying and what does he want? Just to let him cry and carry him lang. I need to spend time with him then. If he cries, then so be it. They want him to sleep. He was given medication na. That shouldn't be as often. That has side effects.I need to see what medications they give the baby. If htye are lazy that shouldn' t be the case. I need to do something about that. But that is life. It is difficult. I need to get my business up and running again, but I shouldn't be trading with this mentality. It has to be clear it has to be perfect like it was before. I need to get back on the horse again.How do you do that? I don't know yet. It is grocery time later. I am already down a grand from the sensei fund. How am I going to do that then? Going to abacus costs me so much money. What am I going to do about that? Well, I need to make forex trading more profitable then. Hwo do I do that? I don't know yet. Just get back the confidence level I had before and you do it one day at a time. I have ten losses before I get out of the game. Man. That is a huge mistake there hey.Eur was a wrong trade and cable is not correlated to that directly. Sometimes they move in conjunction but then I don't never wanted to be employed but rather be in business for myself. How am I going to do that then? Just get it back in for now and see where this leads to.I want to get back in the chatroom. But it is too noisy in there. What else is there to do? I have a training log in bikeforums na. That is something that is going to get me across to the other side. She is wearng shades already. It is nice to wear shades as it keeps the sun away from the eyes and it is easeir riding from thter.Where am I going to get more shades? I don't know yet. There is something there. Do we get edward and stella pa for ninong? We don't have to. We just need one pair and all of the people I know are male. I need women for ninongs. How do I do that? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side for now and see how things fare out then.The kids can ride going to their school. I can make sure of that. What if it rains? Then we walk then. I need to teach them how to cross a street then. Then they gotta lock up their bike when they get there and not lose the keys. Otherwise, they lose everything there.Other people telling them their ideas I can have no control over that so my kids will have to ask me about them when the time comes. The kids are now playing with their toys. We all smell here. The phone is quiet now. That is good. I don't want to trade mel's money it is not a god return for the time and effort I put into it. Better to do something else instead.I might opt to churn his account lang and I don't want to do that. I would rather trade my own and focus on things that are more important to me. How am I going to train when sensei gets here? Admitedly, I am not what I wanted to be in that level. What am ig oing to do about this? Train at five in the court or outside brookside with the longs. I can do soemthing abtou that. I can get my own weapons. I need to do that. It willt ake time though, but I need to do that for myself. What else is there?March 30, 2005The meeting or rather, get together with jun into last night went well. I only wish the conversations went deeper. Anyway, that will do as a first step for us. My wife, I think enjoyed the meetin also. We now have a standing invite to visit him in ormoc soon. Maybe this christmas if time so warrants it. We can stay in a hotel and budget everything. I think that is possible via the internet.I need to write nanay a letter. How and when can I do that? I wonder if the maagma account is already settled. They don't need me for that. I can trade na this afternoon and on Friday, sensei arrives. I wonder really what the plan is. Edward isn't telling anyoen here what it is. I guess he is upset about something. I doubt it be me at this time. But I would much prefer an outright argument than for resentment to be in between us as that festers like cancer in there. Kyla would rather lend someone else her bike and borrow her sister's. that is not right. There is a problem there. I try to spend some time with her, but I guess that is her karma there and not mine. All I can do is to guide her and it is her life that she will have to live. I can eat the inihaw from yesterday na lang. I need to buy an adaptor for the presta valve. I can do that on the way to the internet in santa lucia. Now what else can we do around here. Kuting bought stuff again. Vian doesn't want to use her bike. How come? I think she had a bad fall before and is scared. That's what it is and the same way with trading. If kyla or kuting will lend their bikes then so be it. But they couldn't borrow vian's at the moment. That has to be so there. I think lovely's parents will have to get her a bike themselves.But that's how relationships are made the kids will have to learn that. I think I need to go to the bathroom after I am done with this. What can I do about this? I need to write nanay a letter. It seems unfair that I don't write her. I can do so later in the internet and finish it, print, then send it out soon. I always pass by the post office anyway, I can do it from there the cainta post office ins somewhere there in vista verde. Marcus is sick pa from the vaccine. The kids have already eaten. The maids are going to prepare meatballs for them or something. Now the kids are done playing. No word yet from lara about the water deliver. If not I can go buy some for later tonight.I want to live near the sea. How am I going to do that? Keep up with the trading busienss, make it work. Then ic an move there where they have internet connection and I can make it work from there. From cebu it is easy to go to ormoc na. Both ways, so we can hang out often. I can learn to play badminton, but he is good there. There is niten ichi ryu in cebu so I can train there. If things break down this year with katori, then I can move on to niten ichi ryu. I wonder how much longer they can make it work? I think they can make it work, the problem is, will they have enough students to make it work.Edward will surely make money there, the status quo here is that there are three or four good students, how long will that last then? Aaron and martin are pretty good students there, but they are students pa and not yet married. What you want to see is how they will do when they have family na, wife and kids. I wonder how they can still be able to train there. Vian needs to develop her leg muscles pa. That's why I got her the bikes. She will, eventually. The kids will makle sure she gets used to her bike. I think I am done there already and can go to stalu na to trade, but this is dead zone. Better to trade late into the night than to trade from here.Monday is going to be different. I really wonder what the itinierary is going to be. I feel like I am kept in the dark but I think everyone else is. I think it is going to be the same schedule anyway. What is edward up to. If I were him and I knew that a comrade is planning to break away and set up a dojo, I will inform the teacher. What do I tell him? The truth? I don't think he has anything on me. What I was doing is taking extra practice on my free time and with someone else. I am not teaching anyone there. The problem for him is that these is a chance for people to realize that with sensei coming once a year, they don't need him anymore. So where do we go from here? Make it work then. I can ask sensei, mike I don't think he can ask or open the conversation about that. I think I have need to make that clear with him.This is second page and working towards the third. I am going to trade later, grab breakfast after I am done with this. The kids are busy playing pa naman. Lovely went home for a while so the kids are plying now. She is here then. They cant play with it outside though. Vian wants to have ipit on her hair. Is this better do I want to do something else like play civ 3? But that is such a time waster there and it upsets me so. Better to ride my bike to tanay than to go for that. I need to train some more. How am I going to do that?I can ride all the way to cubao then trade from there. I can do so coming back. I don't really know edward. Am I exposing myself without really knowing it? I don't know. Maybe the morning pages, I need to do something about my briefcase then. What else? The morning pages has password. I don' tthink they can access that easily.This is now third page. Textcomign in. ok. Water delivery on its way. Maybe it is still going aroud pa. At least I can do something here knowing it is coming in already. What do I do with the kids here? Just let them play and let them learn how to interact with each other. How do I develop kyla? She has to learn by herself how to do that but what I can do is to nurture her self esteem. How does one do that?I don't know. Just finish these pages. I can teach her to write morning pages and go from here na lang. Is that water delivery reliable? I don't know. We'll see what happens from here. I don't' want to edit these while I write so I will move on from here.If I were edward, I will tell sensei that these people are practicing together. Is that reason to be afraid? If I were sensei, I will ask, if he is taking in new students? No. I am just training with the other students. Nothing wrong there. Just extra practice time. I --lost my train of thought there. When things start to warm up I run out of pages. Never mind the speling. So what was I saying? I think there is nothing wrong with what I am doing. I think edward will want to work things out and preserve his money source. I am not taking students from him. There the students will have to decide for themselves that they will learn from sensei naman. I saw through his veil. Now he wants to protect it.What do I do about jm? Can he be trusted? I think these people are old neough to think for themselves. Without mike, I don't have much. I will have to take in students na. I don't think it will be the same after sensei leaves. Should I bid farewell telling them what I am here for?I don't think there is anything wrong with what I am doing here. Just take this one day at a time and see where this path here leads to. What are the kids eating later? I don't know yet.March 29, 2005Jun's finally in town and will be meeting him later with lara. That's good but also, I would rather stick with my daily routine. Anyway, this is building relationships and this is part of the roles goals thing and also quadrant 2 activity. So I can take the bike to gale, wash up over there then tdo somethng na lang from there like check out how the market is doing from there and do somethng from there.I wonder what it's going to be like later? There is going to be an extra person there so there is also lara. I think he is uncomfortable with the meeting and so I am. We used to be good friends while we were med reps in ormoc. There was respect there. I don't think there is anything to worry about here. Maybe one of these days I can take the bike tour to visayas. Maybe next year when my projections ring true I can take it there. But right now, I need to gain back that old confidence that I had and start making money in forex again. I had a good system going, I just got lost in the melee. I can get it back again this time. I am just taking the time to lick my wounds. I will get back soon as sensei flies out.I still have a lot to go to raise before I can pay for that trip. I will be taking the bike there na lang so it is going to be cheaper for me to go there and not pay for transportation and get a good workout and enjoy the rest of the day. When I am riding my bike I have a great time there. I can take the kids over there and sleep over, but then I will have to feed them pa.How am I giong to do this? Maybe I will need a maid to take care of things while I am there. We don't have a place to sleep over there. Lara can go there. I can ask stella how the setup wlll be. She has room there if bing isn't going to be there then we can crash over there. Or stay over at mike's instead. How will it be then?I can talk things over with her. The food will be a problem. The whole time we will be there and stuff. It will be much closer for lara to go to her office from there but the problem is the rush hour and the guys will all be there. I thik I can work something out. But what will that be? Where are we going to crash in there? The kids, I can take the three kids there and feed them na lang, but the food there is going to be a problem and so will mine be. What else can I do about this?If we go there, then our food is going to be their food also. I think I can run home, eat, rest, then run out again and be ready for training. That is going to be the itinerary for the next ten days. I think I can handle such a routine. The heat is going to kill me thoguh. How do I deal with that? We finish at ten, I don't have to be there all the day. I can go home or not go home. It is the same anyway. What else is there for me to do around here? It is the food for myself primarily that is going to be a problem. How am I going to deal withthat?I don't know yet. What else is there for me to do? I don't know. Mel has another account. That's ok. I don't make as much money trading his money than I will trading my own account. So I think it is bette rto mind my own business as my expenses are going ot be much lower that way.I missed a spot in the --opened kyla's lollipop. That si a nice treat when you are younger. Better they play first when I am here than for them to watch tv all day. I think I prefer it that way. In the afternoon naman they play with their playmates, so they won't really be watchng tv. That's a pretty good proposition for me and the kids. I can train uphils later going to megamall, I will really smell lang later. How am I going to deal with that? I need a gym to shower into. Where am I going to do that? I don't know. I am not a member of any gym at the moment, so better that I do it here instead.I think kutin gis prime for these model kits that you build na. Better make it basic lang and something they can build. I think lego is still one of the best toys kids can play with. You can never have enough legos anyway, specially if you are not a rich dude, like us, so they can take in lego gifts anytime.Jon, is still much into himself. I too am but not that much. He bought water and placed it all in his room. That is not nice. They get water from us and when we ran out, he bought for himself and placed them all in his room. That is not nice. What can I do about that? Things will turn out alright. Bilog ang mundo. The world is round. This time they can be up but the next you will never know. Remember that all the time.What am I going to do with mike and the dojo? Id on't know yet. I think they have everything all taken care of, so what are we going to do here right now? Just train. I didn't get up, I did, but didn't train thinking what good will three days do? I need I was thinking I need to get some rest na lang so my body will be ready for that event. I think that is a pretty good proposition for myself then. We can go cabalen later.How am I going to ready myself for Friday? No training starts on Saturday and all through Sunday. I wonder what they have planned for the sensei trip. We don't have a dojo and the edward plans didn't work out. I think he should know that there is something wrong about his management style. Too expensive and he can't keep people. I want a shot at this run the dojo and be given the chance. I wonder if martin will open that topic up.I don't think so. He just talks but doesn't really do much of anything really. There is still something on my foot. And if I had stopped medication, it will be back na. I think it is better if I stayed on with my diet this time. Go for induction phase finish it till sensei leaves. I better be prepapred for this then. How am I going to do that?I can bring my own packed lunch and eat that somewhere out there na lang. I can go to gale and eat there for lunch. I can do that. I have packed lunch container and it is microwave safe. That is possibel there. We can do potluck for the meals but who else is going to be there? Mostly the three of us lang, plus aaron who is going to be there all the time. That is good.Who else? The others do not respond to edward's leadership. Why is that? I don't know. Back in shangrila we didn't drink, just got together for drinks and meals then that was it, but we had something good going and there was rapport there. I made it work. Can I make it work again? I hope so for the sake of the dojo and so we can bring back sensei again next time.I need to have a talk with these guys again and see what we can do. I think I can teach kumijo then take things from there. I will need a dojo for myself then. Where can we do that? I don't know yet. Brookside looks nice in the meantime. I can do smething else form tere.I am trying to finish these for now and then I will take up the next phase of the day's routine. There is coke lite in the ref. I can go there later na lang. Marcus has to go to the center for medication. What else? That is supposed to be govt money and supposed to be free. That is how rampang corruption is right now. Even doctors are getting collections and donations like that.

2006-01-02T22:07:00.001-08:00

April 19, TuesdayI enjoyed aikido practice last night. I rode my bike going there through UP, had a good time, and even had spare energy to help with the mats plus the fact that practice was held downstairs at the pacemaker.I met one of my football buddies in college, butch. He was spare goal keeper. He's a nice guy. It's just that the guys from the team, some of them were jerks, like noel cachola. Butch said that most of the people from college are now in the US. If that's so, then what the heck am I doing here? I should be abroad also. Or should I be? Plenty of people still want to get out of this country. That's a shame. How can it be different/I wrte as I drink my hot chocolate. It is already past nine, and I still need to practice my hiragana. That is going to take some time. Also will be adding lessons to that already. Lovely hasn't been here for sometime. That is good considering that they have to save money. I will be getting kuting's sandals I got fixed yesterday.I'm trading today. I trained iai this morning then went out for a run. I didn't feel like riding my bike and I haven't run for weeks na. It was slow. I forgot how many runs I made na but I think I did five. Which is a pretty decent distance for that practice already.I am not paying attention. I wetn back to bed after a shower then fell asleep. I need to transfer these pages upload them to yahoo briefcase for future posterity. That so the kids can read them all when the time comes. I think that is good something for me to look forward to. What else am I going to o around here? Who is that lady? Fat and white. I am trading later. This is what's good about being in business for myself. I have time, but then I am not making as much as I wanted to.At least I found a business for my own that I can make work. The kids are starting to argue again. Who causes all that argument? They just want ot go for the same thing at once. Do I need to get in between such arguments? I don't know. Just get to the otheri sde for now. The mang boyet, I don't know if he'll service the kids next year. Maybe so. It is pretty close naman. He can go there na lang. The kids can actually bring along their bikes. I like going to bicycling magazine. They have human interest stories I enjoy reading.They tell of ordinary people who fell in love with their bikes. I need to adjust the seat on my bike. I am not sitting on my sit bones. That's what's causing the numbness. I think the frame is way too big for me. Maybe next time, I can get a smaller frame for myself and make it good for riding na.The korean seems to be quiet laetely. Why is that? Has he moved? I neeed to wash my gis pa later. Then I can leave after that. I need to put some air into the bike. It is going to be hot today? It's always been hot. Consider that as part of your training na.I will be feeding the kids after I am done with this. A car is the worst investment you can make. It sure is convenient. If I were single I would not buy me a car. I would be better off with a good bike. That's what I could have gotten before and I did get myself a good bike nga. Only thing is the frame is too dang big for me. Now I need to replace that frame with something smaller with a smaller top tube.That is going--the kids keep arguing and fighting. Kyla can get cranky around these times when her sisters don't play with her. She has an insecurity issue with that. She gets me so upset whenever she gets insecure. What am I going to do abot it? Nothing. I just deal with it. This things happen. Just sped time with her next time whenever you can. I can't control how she thinks all the time. She just wants attention and I can't give it to her all the time.Weird science was a weird movie made for teens. I enjoyed it when I was younger, but now, these days, I find it boring. I wish though that I could have done things differently with the way I treated woman. I know better now how to court women, but I can't na. I am married already. That is already a negative factor going against you. Oh well. Just get on with your life and move on with it. It doesn't always happen in your direction you know.This hot chocolate tastes good. Vian and elise are playing together. I should be telling elise not to say them bad words? It is just a manner of expressing herself. I think that is part of growing up. If you cut the bad parts then the good one you will also affect. That is part of self expression.I will be getting the kids lucky me pancit canton ana lang. They like that and I can eat the eggs na lang with them when they eat. That is the weekday routine around here. They shouldn't be watching tv whenever I am around. I can't watch Mondays anymore. Maybe I can train on Saturdays aikido but where? I can do aikido on Sundays? No katori with the members is a better deal. But for now, I don't know of any one who will train with me at this time. I need to have a naginata made for myself. How am I going to do that? I don't know yet. Just work with what you got form here on in.Stopping mind whenever I drink the coco. That's ok. Just keep writing and empty your thoughts into these pages so we can get going with the day. It's going on good so far. I trained in the morning and I ran and now morning pages. I will be trading later. Just do this for the rest of your life and it is a good habit already to keep.I don't have to train with the guys late at night. I gave edward plenty of time na before. I think it is time I moved on. I can open my own dojo. If sensei supports me or not, that's ok. He can cut me off if he wants to. I don't care anymore. I don't think I should be teaching katori to anyone though.I think I can do something about the dojo. Wow, sweat is pouring down through my armpits to my wrist. Kyla is quiet as her sisters don't want to play with her. I will prepare them pancit canton na lang after this then I can also wash the clothes while I do Japanese hiragana. I can do that for now.What else can I do around here? Just finihs these pages and get on with the day. I can do this earlier in the day, but not in between running and practice. This has to be later as it will put me to sleep. The shoulder still hurts. I think it is something else altogether. I think I can take myonal for this tonight. Then what else can I do around here?Kutign can be makulit, all the time. She just applies that to anyone and everyone else. Kyla seems to be alright now.i will buy pancit later after I am done here. I think vangie is going to wash my clothes na. I wonder how they are going to do that? Washing machine loosk fine. I need a new hakama. How can I afford one? I don't know yet. Just keep going and you will get there one of these days.Now yet done? I want to finish these alrady. Marcus keeps crying. Maybe he wants to go to sleep. Jon has been busy wth his application naman. He is not getting interviews thoguht. That's ok. At least the effort is there. I just hopes he gets somethig going already. He might get stuck in there and that is not a good place to be in.How is he going to get out of that rut? I don't know. It is tough beig at home doing nothing.April 15, 2005This book here is longer so it feel sbetter as an arm rest or wrist rest. Vangie leaves for the province today. The kids are chekcing if their playmates are awake na. That's ok. They are playing all morning today. I can maybe go get the tires na this morning. It's a good hour ride back and forth. I can do that so I don't have to do it later. I wonder if I can get that fixed pa. I think there is enough time for that.I finish these, have breakfast, do the Japanese workshop then take it from there. Vian is looking for ipit. That she has to keep them always is a priority. Maybe we can get her rubber bands so they are not as expensive anymore. They the kids should keep them always as they are the ones using them.I am still upset that the dojo has disbanded. Edward doesn't seem to care. If you can't pay him, he doesn't care about you. Now that is the height of arrogance, isn't it. He's not even a licensed teacher and yet he considers himself as so. He will meet his end one of these days. Martin, it's so easy to get rid of him. He is just looking for aceptance, but I don't want someone like him in my organization.Am I going to get my organization pa? Is it worth it? Do I want to open my own school? I think it is possible here. I can open an iaido school nearby then look for a sensei someplace else na lang. That I can do. We can bring in teachers from everywhere na lang. If you can do so, then start it. Don't matter what other people say or do. What's important is that you go through it and work on making it better.I think there is a market for all this. I think I can do something about this already. I could get kicked out of katori, but if that one is shit already then I can move on from here. What else can I do around here.So much negative energy it has to be dissipated. What can I do about my training? Like I said before, training doesn't even depend on anyone, not even sensei. It depends on you. I think I can do solo, go partner with someone else every now and then. I can take in students teach them up to kumijo only then when sensei arrives they can apply for katori. I think that is possible here. I am free in the mornings. Edward isn't wouldn't get up to travel such a long way. I hope sensei sees through all that. They are not as serious about training, and I think I was stabbed in the back last time. Do you really think so? I will have hot chocolate after this then work on my hiragana after this. I think it is a big help that I am able to do this so that when I go to japan I can read and write Japanese and speak. That is more important. I think I need to learn this from the ground up that is the letters and everything else.There is the cable tv with jap shows. I can learn and practice from that also. I can do that. It is possible then. When a Japanese techer comes, I can talk with them and sometimes even act as interpreter if need be. That is a long way from here pa but I think that is possible. I can make it happen and I will make it happen.The kids a re all here and they are priming to play already. I can feed them later na lang hwen need be. Joshua is like a pampered kid who can't go out and play anytime he wants. He is part of the family that pampers their kids. I think it is important that kids learn how to socialize and play, and they can will get hurt, but they need to learn from that. What are they doing there?Should I encourage cruelty to animals? I don't' think so I should not. Well, let it happen there na lang. They are all in here and john lloyd keeps passing by and not ask permission if he can come in. that's ok. They can play na lang later. I need to move these files to the internet as it is alredy getting big. How so? I need a diskette for this and then I can transfer. That is possible there. Who is that kid there? The brother of the other one. These kids looks weird. They can't just play around here but I am here to watch over them.It is upsetting that vangie is leaving for five days. That I sgoign to happen fast but then I won't be able to stay out long. Ednalyn can't handle all of the kids properly. I need to feed them befre I leave make sure they have something to eat before I go. That is going to put us all in all fours. What now? I don't know. Just get through this for a while and see what happens. I think we can go for something cooked up already when the time comes. Just learn to deal with it already and get to the other side.Just want to get that over and done with. I feel like if I am here I just tell the kids what to do and not to do. That's your job. Just don't want to police them around, but at that age, they need policing. Oh well, it breaks up my peace of mind. The nieghbors don't mind, but they get a free babysitter. So that means if I get tired of these kids, I can send them home anytime I want to. I can tell them to get lost na lang if I am tired na. I think I can do that. What else is there? That is the trade off if you want your kids to be manageable. I think I will take that risk then.This is already page three and I am getting to the other side. I need to have breakfast na. What to eat? I can have sisig again this morning, cook it very well this time. I will be gettning the kids' bike fixed up na. Just need to get the right measurement for their bikes. I don't want to carry all that stuff, but If need be, then I think I can do that.What else am I going to write about here? My kids are going to grow up with their own businesses rathe than work for someone else. That is important here. I will work it out so it ends up that way. If I am not going to do katori, what am I going to do then? Do I change midway? There is nothing to replace it, so what else do I do about this?I don't know yet. At least the questions are being asked right now. That is good. I will take it from there na lang. I wonder what else I can do about this situation? Assume the best from each person. That is the more important thing to do around here. Let it pass na lang and one day you will find yourself in there again.I think I can take care of the next one. I don't think they will be able to bring in sensei next time. They will charge us more, but then why are they going to do so? That will only show how much an asshole he is. I think he is going to charge more. Last time he had more people but of the wrong kind and his dojo died anywyas. This is headed there again. What is wrong with him? He didn't learn his lesson the last time. I hope he learns it again. Buti don't think they did. It I seasy for thes epeople to prioritize something else like their jobs befor epractice. If martin gets a longer hours job he disappears and edward is left to fend for himself na. I think I can get rid of my number there and just email na lang. I can leave the number there so I can monitor the response rate I getI can do that. Then they can email me na lang. Too bad I can't do anything about it now, but I am going to get there one of these days. I am taking the necessary steps to get there and if it works out, I get what I want out of this and that is to get back sensei with people paying less for everything. April 14, 2005If them in the us can get to kyoshi lang, how about us here who seldom see sensei how far can we go? That is disappointing, really. How am I going to get there myself? Napa valley sensei is just a web developer. How can he afford it?Mainit ulo ni kuting. Pabayaan mo na. These kids are playing anyway. I can cook sisig later this mornig and that is what I will be playing with in the meantime. Why am I losing my temper here/ I am hurrying things up that's why. What can I use around here? Just work on this for a while and get to the other side. I woke up at four na and didn't get up. Why so? I can work on the hiragana later in the computer shop while waiting for money making times. I think that is possible here with me then.What else can we do around here? Practice later the hiragana then I can have breakfast with the kids na. We can all have breakfast together. Lara gets home later I can ride my bike going home again. That was fun you know. I can do that again later. Ang kulit nitong mga bata. Anyway, they are playing naman so let them be. Should they be playing outside? I need to pass by those bike shops and see if they have some tires for kids' bikes.That I need to do now or I won't pass there when I get home. Or maybe I can later in the afternoon na lang nga. It's a longer ride home for me anyways. I was bored lang kahapon, I could;ve gone by there. This time I will in the afternoon.It's already late in the morning and jn hasn't left yet? Hmmm. Maybe he has some sort of job working on himself. Vian is still sleeping. That's good. Maybe kyla is waking her up. I should tell kyla that when we go to bed so she will remember. It's a disaster when I will handle all four of them. Marcus isn't much of a headache but if he doesn't fall asleep agad, then that is a problem there. He is a big boy now. In a few more months he will be playing again with the other kids already. He should practice htem moves already.Is he going to get into martial arts? That's why I need to do something about this. They can get the title. I can work on something else here. What else can I do about this then? Should I disappear na? I don't think so. Just work with what I have and I will get to the other side.Whose parent is that? Should I be friendly withthem pa? I don't really know. I don't drink and I don't have to suck up on these people. I think I know what to do here. Just get to the other side and iwill get there. Just work with what I have. I am hurrying these. Don't just write. Be a conduit. Write whatever comes to mind. Shouldi be writing pa ba later? Not really. Just read, or relax, then when it's time to go you go. That's what life is about.Should I file itr pa? Not necessarily so. He is just saying safe things. Millions of filipinos do not file their itr. I don't think I will make any difference here. I think that is so too. What else can we do around here that will matter? I don't know yet. There is so much here that shouldn't be done naman. They would rather run after the big fish than come after us small fish. For the same amount of effort, you get mor emoney from them naman.So just move on rom here and get to the oter side. Vian ight want milk, just be ready for that. If she doesn't then that is also ok. She can play na. We can all have breakfast together. Ok this is my second page. Just finish these and I can cook something up already.The kids are busily playing already. I will trade later. I almost lost out on a trade last night. Should I be doing something else? I think the five minute time frame has lesser losses for me and I will stay there for now. Never mind the other people for now. Andy jordan also has the same amount of views, but then he started out earlier than I did so that means my thread is seeing more people. That is nice. I better have something good there or I lose interest with the other people. With the people coming in all the time, I think there is something there to gain.Why not advertise anlang instead? I don't know jst get to the other side for now and see what we can do about this. Still in the second page and my foot is acting up. I measured in at 36 this mornig after I got up. That's nice. What am I doing right? Stayed on the diet. Maybe I was empty pa. But that's a nice way to measure ip when you are empty right?So am I on course then? Bt my foot is saying otherwise neh? Just get to the other side. I can prctice with sensei when he gets here. Then that is going to be good with me. I can learn how to cook on wekends. That is going to be nice here. Kuting is taking her milk. Then so be it then what else can I write about here? I really got up late na and now I am rushing things around here. I will start tomorrow na. I can't train at night. I need to spend time with the kids. If I am getting this much busy with this lifestyle, then how about the other people. I think it is mor ewhat you do with what you got than what you actually have.I think I see an advantage here. When it's late in the morning na, unless you really are not doing anything at all thenyou really can't train much it is time to move on for me. Just move on and get to the other side for now.I am going to trade then I will ride my bike. I enjoy riding it I don't know why, but it is fun to go fast. Next time I will be going downhill na from antipolo. Now that is fun. The hard part is going up there. Before the ned of the year I am going ot go there andpay there xclusively.It's good that the kids are playing here and making this their home base. I can see them play at least and I f I see something I don't like I can correct them so. They play outside and then they don't watch too much tv. That is good enoug for me then.I can easily monitor them from here. I can work on the hiragan aafter I am done with this. Then I will move on. I can have the hot choclate when I am doing that then have the sisig later when I am done with that already. Marcus is up na. I can play with him later when he is not going to sleep na.I got up late and that is good for me. What are the kids goigng to have for breakfast? I don't know yet. We'll see what is available options. If the farm were still up, that will be a great place to hang out in I think so too. Edward is a much bigger asshole. He is rich and he is a bummer. Do I need to edlelte the files in my yahoo briefcase? I think an asshole has access to that.It's ok. You will see how big an asshole he is in the future. It can be embarassing, but that is how you find out. Right now you already know. I will still slap him when I see him so he pray that I don't run into him soon.Better move on now. That will only upset me. Better the skill than the rank. Ranks are nothing. It is a way for putting you online. Better to move on from here.Going to cebu soon.April 13, 2005I am tasking myself to learn Japanese. Yesteday, I started to with the hiragana vowels. I am more in depth this time learning things from the bottom up, just as my kids are learning how to read and write in english. Maybe I can put something on my wrists to raise it up higher. What would it be then? Some book or took that will raise it up a bit. I got one here and it seems to be alright but it is pretty long and it doesn't fit the keyboard table exactly but this will do this time for now. Does this have a trap inside of it? Tajonera is coming back daw, is that going to be trouble? I think the ateneo phase is over and I have made enough enemies on that side. Time to move on now. Only mike, and I think jm, I sok from that side. The others, I don't know.What is going to happen now? I am a person who can control his circle of influence. I can work something out from here. Right now, is day one. Just focus on doing that. How come whne I get started, it always sstarts off at page one hundred? We are waiting for water delivery here. I think I am covred for the expenses I had this other day. I can get a haricut but is it going to be today?Marcus might get anxious if I became caretaker for the day. Let him spend the day with the maids na lang. Let him grow up good. When he is older we will be spending more time together. Don't worry so much about riding. Enjoy the process na lang muna and you will eventually get to the other side from hee. I think so too. Just enjoy the ride each day.Kuting is already up. Joey paid a grand already. I can go to the bank this afternoon, but I want to go early to trade so I can do some bb squeeze in there. That used to work well with me back then. I can do that again. Even in cable that went well. I don't see that as often these days though. Why is that? Kuting is bored alredy. They can eat around ten so they eat lunch later around two so they won't be so hungry later. I get bored around here thoguh when the kids are playing I need to replace the kids' tires. Kuting exploded last night as I put air in it. It was too much though but I think it was due for a blow out already. I need to work on that this week.These pages work as a planner for me in the mrning. It also serves as a dump for the negative energy. Cameron was right. This serves as a good part of my day. I am waiting for water delivery. Jon should ask if we need water if he is going to get some delivered. That is pakikisama. He gets from us, at least he should do something also there. How come he isn't applying for work? He is wasting money and should be practicing his interview skills. Now he is learning how hard it is to apply for work. That is his karma. There is nothing I can do about it now. What is his plan? Even his wife is Did kyla wake up vian? That isn't good if it is so maybe she woke up, then decided to wait for vian. I can watch oprah mua after I am done with these. What time is it na? Yesterday's show was good. I can watch that muna while kids play and I wait for them to eat. I can do that. It is just about to start pa lang. I think that is good enough for me then. Getting used to writng thee pages in the morning. I am also learning how to read and write Japanese. I think that is good there. Hiragana is good. I can learn that. Just leanr the vowels and the consonants and kanji will follow after that. I think that is good for me then.What else do I need to do around here? Need to call up accounting and do the candido thing. How come he needs money? Don't know. Maybe a family emergency. I don't know. Kyla is talking with me here. I can atch oprah in the meantime. The kids are getting ready to play na. Their best friend is lovely. That is nice. They play around a lot. They are going to grow up together. I think it is improtant that learning is more important than education. I think that is true.There are more people in the system than there is about the homeschooling. There are more kids around here now. They see the racer and they think it is too big and unexciting. That's how I felt like first time I saw a racer. When I got one na, man, it changed my life. It really did. I lost weight and I started going around a lot. I am back there now and it is still cahnging and influencing my life a lot that is my artist's date each day. I don't have to wait a week for that.I think I need to spend less time with lara if I were to get this diet over and done with. In the weekend, I will do something about that I will ride twice a day. There is no training though so I will do somehting ab out it instead. I am done with them for now. I will move on.I can train solo in the meantime though. I can start tomorrow. I could have started this morning, but then lara is not here and marcus is gong to sleep with the maids. What are the girls doing in the garage? They might be playing in there. That's ok though. They can play in there. Vian can play with me in here while I am doing something around here.This is already page three and I am going to finish these for now. I am glad I can write these pages. There is something more here that I can do. What is that. I would like to draw also sculpt. That takes time but I can do somethig ab out it thoguh. There are several repair people going around. That is good. They know how to get a job done. I respect that. Epople who work is respectable becase they carry on. I need to learn something about these people. Mailman ishere.Joey is paying the lawyer collector. That is also a business but that is scaring people. I don't like that people are more into what's legal than what is moral. I don't thnk that is going to cahge unless you get a revolution around here. That way people in the side of the law are arrogant. Why is it changing that way? I think I am already near around the middle of the pages here. The garage door doesn't have to be left open all the time. That will stop here but it didn't. that's good. I don't want mail in here. They are usually bad news.I still get the insurance bill. Do I pay for that? I don't think so. That is a problem though. Am I supposed to be paying that pa? I don't think so. If somethig happens to me thoguh that is something else. Not right now. Just get rid of it so it doesn't stay around in your head too lon.g I get notice every now and then that collector is coming. They used to have a messenger come and collect but mine is such a small account they don't send one anymore. Thatos' ok na.I am just waiting for these to finish then I will be on my way with the day. Waiting for the water to arrive, I can go to brookside in the meantime. Then maybe I can get a haircut? I think I can. Market's closed pa naman. I can make calls from brookside. If they don't make money then I will have to find another one that has a telephone. Where will that be?Just look around.April 12, 2005Sensei left yesterday. I wonder if he made it in time. There was such a huge traffic yesterday morning and I hope it wasn't in hi s way out to the airport. The way I see it, only those who can afford can do martial arts and learn from the really good masters. That is sad. What if you didn't have the money but is willing and can commit to a lifetime of training. I don't know if the people here can see that, but if it were me, I'd not ask the people if they had been into training for a year already. Not just since date of enrollment, but number of days trained. That is fair enough. That demonstrates that the student is willing and committed enough to train. I think I can do that.But the way things are, edward will refer me to sensei to ask permission, which is impossible at this time knowing sensei. I don't think I'd be given permission to do so. If he drags his foot on this and goes around the system, then I have no recourse but to go around the system myself. Will I be able to bring in sensei next time? I don't kow. What I can do I will do. In the meantime, I'd get back my feet inside the dojo and start learning aikido again.I will challenge them to bring back sensei next time, but that is, if we are going to have that meeting that they are saying we will have the next time. I highly doubt that will happen. Martin is too chicken to push for his proposals and edward is too stubborn to make changes. I don't think it is right to ask for th estudent to go through a year of aikido. Who will have th epatience for that. I think it is best to teach them kumijo for a year and then they can move to higher ground, into katori or other things. I think that is what we can do here. Teach them aikiweapons and then we can introduce them to sensei na lang when he gets here. I think that is a pretty good enough lesson for me here.I don't spend time sleep over at laurence. As it is, I'd rather spend time with the kids nalang. Better that way. Why would sensei only teach those who would spend time there who would rather do play station. I think that is such a waste of time there. Sensei was bored when he was here the last time. What really happened there? I don't know. I really don't know what happened this time. It was such a waste of time this year. I wonder if we will still see jm this time. Jegs was gone. He is not coming back. What can I do about ths then? I start a dojo that gives everyone the permission to do the same thing. What now? I don't know. But I have the moral obligation to do so. Did lando feel the same way? No there were plenty of students still. I wonder how things will be this time? If I don't hear from them, then they gotta make their own website and make it happen. I don't know if jm is going to be contacted for this, but in th emeantime, ic an do something about this myself.They are going to hear about it sure, but then I can tell them that there is members only practice around here where I live and I don't know where the others or the dojo for beginners is. I can refer them to aikido na lang or something. I think I can do that. What else can be done around here? I think martin is getting so big headed, I gotta move on here. I don't want to be pushed out of my training here. I think sensei invited us all, it wasn't that but I feel like it wasn't extended to me personally. I can't afford it at this time, but in the future, iwill. I can trade na later, but I need to get my foot wet again, get into the game, do a demo account in the meantime, just be patient and I will get that back. I am getting hungry na. I am going to fast today. Need to get back to a good weight here or my foot is going to tell me about it in th enear term. I don't think I should be spending as much time with my wife here. She is leaving for iloilo tomorrow. What now?I don't know I think she is going to bring her pc with her. I can trade na muna in the meantime. I think she is going to go around muna. She is looking for a different job. This is what it's like each time naman. She was like this at acnielsen. What is going to change this time? I don't know but there is fear constant when you have bills to pay and the job you do you do not like. What can we do about this?I need to make a naginata made and bo and spear. How can I do that? I don't know yet. Why did sensei teach only aikido? I don't know. I think it was time we did some sinking into the technique pa. Is jon still sleeping? That is no way to raise a family here. You gotta go out and make some bacon some of the time.This is the second page pa lang. I cant ride with the laptop pn my back. Too risky but if I were to go on a slow pace, I think that is also possible. The pace ig o right now is pretty slow. It hin they edwrad is really more into himself na lang. He has rich parents lang kasi. Soon enough, all that is going to change. Things are going to change around here and I ma going to make it happen. How am I going to do that/ I don't know yet. But that is the direction that we are taking here.This is a genius keyboard and it feels alright naman. It is already elevated and the wrists just don't feel ight. Maybe I should get something higher for the wrist. Then they should make something else for the keyboard. I am sure someone out there is making a design for it already and is trying to do something abtou it, I don't know. We'll see. This is just griping and this clears up everythign for th erest of the day. I gotta work on my Japanese. I want to learn that and I also want to learn how to cook.I have the cookbook here. I can buy the ingredients. Ic an do that so the next time sensei comes here I can cook something up. I think that I spossible here. Where is that coookbook? It is just around there somewere. I have mike. I think I can get him to adopt sensei when he is in town. Otherwise, we can have him stay again at laurence's. I think that is possible.It is the members who are having a hard time here. What to do about edward? Leave him be. Form your own club and then invite sensei to come here. I think that is possible here. What now? Risk it? I am already losign my training this way. No way poor people can bring in sensie but if we were to work togethere then we can rbng back sensei. Just need to focus on this for the rest of the week figure out something workable here.Is edward going to do somethig here? I think so. I think there is something here that can be done. I just don't know pa what it is. I think I can make something workable here. I can go to japan myself. I already showed that I can make the money in forex. Just need to be more disciplined about it and make it work for myself here. I think I need to do the moving average thing here and make it work.Also see overnight rates where it favors and trade in that direction only. If the broker is willing to trade in that direction then I too should be looking int it already. I can make hot chocolates after I am done with this one.This is going to fill up fast if I were to type each time I am here. Ed is asking for his check na. Three days pa frm here.

2006-01-02T22:07:00.000-08:00

April 26, TuesdaySuch loving kids. I am firtunate. That's why I came back-- for them also. Besides, my wife was a good catch. Where else can you find such a woman. So patient and loving. Makulit nga lang mnsan, but she is alright for me na.I am done with the people from the dojo. Incoming message there. Even with laurence and her kids, am done with them. Well, maybe not the kids. I am not going to show up there anymore. Just cut ties. If sensei cuts his ties with me then so be it. There wouldn't be any appeal. I'll just be mum about it then move on with my life. I had dedicated a decade of it and I think it is time to move on from here. I can still do aikido, then maybe try and find something else.Jon is still in the house. What happened to his training? I think he is up to no good. I will evict him from this house if he is not able to pay his hsare of the utilities. He threw my kids out of his room last night, no that was four in the morning, just because he was drunk and had to get a place to sleep. That was not good for him. If I were in his place, Id sleep in the sofa. He didn't, so his countdown has just started.How come he is not training today? I don't know. He is asking nanay for financial assistance. You can't live on that forever. He needs to get a job and what is he doing about it? I don't know. Maybe he had an argument or fight with his wife and he had to move out. I am going to press for him to get a job. If he is back to his old ways I will throw him out in a whim.I don't know wht to feed the kids. Maybe gice them eggs for breakfast or something else. I think eggs will do nicely there. I am going to fast today. Need to cleanse myself. Can I do three day fasts? I don't know. Too extended for me. It seems such a long way off from here. Yesterday got crammed up. I need to go to work, but I will be on budget. I only have two hundred bucks here.What now? No drinks later. Just trade then buy something for the kids. How will I make it there? I don't know yet. I need really to get something going with myself. What else can I do abou tthis? My haircut, I need a shaver of some sort. The kids are now upand I need to feed them something already.Coke lite is still frozen. Mike said he was going to contact me for some training during the week. something to look forward to. Do I really want to train katori pa? I think so. How am I going to get around those bullies there? I don't know yet. That's what he is doing. He is bullying people around just so they will pay for his lifestyle. That is not good. What else is there to do? He is not leaving? Man, that is a bummer. I am going to ask him for that. Maybe it is after lunch pa. He is using up utilities here and that is not good if he is not going to pay for it. If he turns out like tito rome, then he is a bummer. I am going to kick him out and I am going to forget about him na. Where else is eh going to go to? I don't care. I just don't want to expose my kids to that stupidity. How can he do such a thing? He went for the easy road all these years he was carrying such evil in him. Why not learn how to trade instead? I don't know. What I know now and had confirmed is that he is dum and doesn't know what to do with his life.My kids, I don' want to greow up like that. They are going to go through some hardships. It will be part of their life, even if it were just school. How am I going to do that? I don't know yet. They are going to learn from the maids then how to clean up the house. If jon is leaving then he has to leave sometime before lunch or so. Or maybe earlier if it is going to be in the afternoon.I want this to be over and doen with na. Still a page and a half to go. I can make calls from here if ineed to. I have the bike. I can go anywhere from here. Point to any spot on the horizon and I can go there in an hour or so. That is what's good about the bike. Lara just ahs so much fear. I need to deal with that. Lance has had so many accidents he can't remember how many na. I love what he does, catching as many green lights as possible. I haven't done that yet. But iti si fun to ride urban. I can go train. It was back in college when I was going to carbungco's gym that I was in such a great shape, physically and endurance wise. I was in such a good fitness base.I wasn't into strength training though. That wasn't for me, but the guys there invited me and I didn't want to be that big. I just wanted to ride my bike and look good. Maybe if I was doing martial arts na back then I would be better. But that wasn't the time for me then. Good thing.How about my kids now? I don't know yet. I can just ride around today and spend nothing. I can do that. What else is tehre for me to do? I don't know. Just finish theses and get to the other side for the meantime.Maybe the computer is blocking incoming messaeg. There seems to be signal coming in but doesn't show on the phone. We'll see later what happens. That is being delayed there. Lara wants to learn html now. It is easy if you will just search the net. I am learning Japanese now. I can do that hot chocolate thing later while I am doing Japanese. Am learning something here and that is good. In a year's time, that will already be more than enough for me. I have the slime forest adventure pa. That is learning the letters also. I will get there eventually then. Maybe I can start learning the katakanas already. I can do that. But follow the wiki books lesson plan. That seems to be basic and the strokes are fine with me so be patient and stick with that for now. Where are is marcus going to lie down for a while? He can stay here in the living room. That be fine then.I am going to feed the kids after I am done with this. Already near the halfway mark. What else? Maybe they can eat sometghing else instead. Kyla still sleeps her sleep pattern was disrupted there kanina, all of the kids were disrupted there. What else is there to write about ? just get to the other side and see what happens.I am already tired and want to get out and burn some energy. I don't wna tto spend money though. Just ride and don't car ebaout the hear. Lovely the kid is hear. Man, what's going to happen. Here. I am also scared abou tht elack of succes around here. What am I going ot do abou tthis? I don't know really. Is stella in thailand also? I don't care really. They set sat practice and didn't show up. They should have cancelled it. They were expecting jm and aaron to train together. Maybe they were expecting me to show up. But they didn't text me naman what time classes were. Why the helll should I show up.What is their next move? They are going to set up aikido classes. They are going to move their dojo someplace else. Then they are going to get students. I am prime to get my own club na. How am I going to do that> the kids are going to eat na after this. What am I going to feed them? I cant get pinya for myself as it costs me money.Vangie is making omelette. The kids can have that. Can they bring in sensei next year? I highly doubt it.April 25, MondayDo I listen to the facts? Just don't give meaning to them. Who you are right now is not dependent upon the facts, but what you make of them. When do I start training? When vangie arrives tonight, then I will train na tomorrow morning. I need to gt back into it. We can start traiing na every Sundays. They are not consistent. They scheduled class and nobody was there. Are they going to get new students pa? Then they should know the merits of their ideas. You need students to get this thing going. You can't let edward run the show. I am not putting my rep behind him na. It is such a waste of time. Better to associate myself with aikido people. These are more dedicated about their martial arts.So what now? My trading isn't what I think it would be, better still it is giving better returns than what I was getting int eh stock market and that local market is far more volatile and you can't short it. For a little expense, I can make more returns in forex. I don't think it is gambling. Gambling I have tried, and you can't make a living out of it. It is like going to bingo. You just wait for your luck to come in. forex technicals, you should know what it is you are doing and you will make money consistently. Bingo you can't even make it monthly I think. I think some people make that thei rprart time job already. They go there in and out hoping they can make some extra money in there. That is what they do.I wonder what time will vangie be coming? I can ask ednalyn later when I see her. It has to be this morning ot make it work otherwise I will be staying here with the kids all day. Can I handle that? What am I going to do in the meantime? I don't know yet. Just take it one day at a time. It is like being akid. You go out and play lang. Don't make it disicipline or it makes things worse. I can tyoe fast pero there are a lot of errors there is spell checker naman you can do that later on. I don't need it to be precise I can make it work later na lang if I had to.What else? I am still n page one and need to make this work out. It doesn't have to be that way. Just write this way anad make it work out. Should I be looking a tsomehing else? No. just write and get to the toher side in the meantime. This is where my fingers should be but they seem to be getting all around and don't know where they are headed to.How did I get here? I got sidetracked lang kasi. Is it a series of luck or lack of it? Id on't know. But I wish I had been more consistent about this and maybe things could have been a lot more different. Do you wan tto be like them? I don't know. Most everyone I know, they are having a hrd time and they are just hiding it. Most of the family people nga lang. If they were single, then there is nothing to worry about there. That was a nice pretty lady last night in the show. Who was she?Kris aquino now endorses san mig? That is preposterous. She isn't supposed to be there she is not a hottie. Maybe things are starting to change? I don't know. Maybe so. Maybe she is coming into her own image now. Maybe so nga. So desu. I wonder how this si going to end? Am I going to get there? I don't know really. I c an't tell. Just need to be consistent then. If I can only be consistent about my trades, then I can make it work.I am still trying to come up with a good formula to make ti work then I can be consistent about my trades. The food last night and all day wasn't so good. I ened to do something about it. I think the routine I have already is good. Again, just need to be consistent about it na lang and make it work. I have my bike. I think 4am is pretty early. I need to make adjustments to that. Where else can I train? The naginata I don't have. It will get me very far if I can make it work there. What can I do now? I don't know really. I think these people will need to know what it is I am doing to make it work.Right now. What they know is that I am still training. They don't know that I am not yet down. They are. My dojo is still growing while theirs has already peaked and is already dying. I am still not yet rimed and yet to get there. That is something to look forward to. You prime then you should get into another spiral. That Is the secret. I made the group prime then edward took over the reigns thinking he made it work. Npw let him suffer for his decisions. He made those and he thinkgs he can get away with it. I think it is time I made soemthig work out here myself. How am I going to get into the heart center thing? Maybe someone there is also doing a different martial art or something. I don't know. That's why I am learning Japanese.That is beth. If so she hasn't left yet. What tiem is she leaving. Will I be able to get to aikido later? I leave before five. Around 430. if she is not here yet at this time then I will not leave anymore. First time I will miss in two weeks. Well. There is always a next time. I can train mayeb tonghit when lara gets home. I think so too. Better maintain what you have the status quo is now different. Make I work out for you and you will get to the other side. I think this is what you need to do here. Just need to be more aware.It is hard trtying to get the last finger there to work. It doesn't have to be. The fingers are all trying to make it work there. I think I can do something about this na lang. Don't rely on habit. That is what you need to do here. If you can make it work then so be it then.I think that is the essence of mastery here. I think 56 channel is also good. So be it then. I can do something about this and I can make it work.Who else is going to go there? If they know that Jimmy trains regularly on Sunday mornings and you can count on him to bethere, why go to their dojo pa when they cannot be consistent about it? I don't know. Besides, you won't get conssitent training from them.Roel didn't even bother to show up pa who is this guy parking in front of our house? Maybe he forgot something lang. Roel didn't show up and so did the other guys they were expecting and theygave e the flak? That sucks there. I think he was just trying to get even with me there.I think so too. I think that is all too typical of the asshole at work there. Predictable. What now. Just move on. You can alsready see that their dojo is not going to work out then. I think so too. I think I can post something on friendster there. I think I can mae arrangements there and make things happen.How do I make t more cosnstent here? I don't know yet. Jst get to the other side each time andmake it work. Eventually, I am going to have to get myself a dojo and make it work from there. I don't think these people know what it is they are doing. They blame moe for gettign the students. They didn't tell sensei that they get this epensive dojo they can't afford to pay, I can't pay but I will bring in people who can. That's how it is. I wish they wouldn't stab me in the back like tat, but that's how they are. I thhink it is tiem to move on from ehre. Better to let the org die. It is going nowhere. Wthout me, they are surely going nowhere.April 22, FridayI can be part of a different org or I can start one from scratch.i prefer the latter. I can get more control out of that. It's a fresh start from there. I am still very much affected by the recent development.s I can go on training acting as if nothing has happened, but that will be against my principles. Besides, I could not train with people like those. I don't want to expose my kids to those kinds of people na. I am done with them then. I am moving on. Better to spend time with people like our maids here. They have good character. They know how to work. I am glad that I have my wife. I will be moving on from here and the good guy will always remain standing, even if he has to stand alone. That I will do then. I can add another day to my weekly training schedule. I can do Saturdays. Thursdays I can go to ateneo and train with them, but that is I finish at five then I head off there so I can make it on time. I can do that. What else can I do? Do I want to go there pa? I can train there some more with katori if I have the time. I think I can do that, but that is so accessible to martin. I don't think I would like that. Better move on then. I don't want to run across him I might hit the guy. He'd be on his ground naman. I see now why he is like that. He thinks he is popular with the guys but actually he is not. You get too close and you see the cracks on the surface.The kids are not yet eating. They are still playing and I can feed them something a bit later at around ten. That be nice then. I go tup late na. I wanted to get some clearence before I get on. I think I can start training na when this foot is completely healed na. That be Monday I think.Cefalexin is a far superior drug than the other one mike recommended. It is only one day and you can see that it is already better. I need to make changes to kuting's rear tire hub. It's not just the inner and bearings it's the whole hub you will replace. Might as well get new tires but I don't need the spokes for that pa. Am I going to replace even the spokes pa? That is going to be comlicated then.I don't know how to dish a tire. That was the part I didn't know before and I had to bring that to the kbs just so it will be done. But I can true them well. The hot chocolate teastes better with the butter in it. I just need something to sweeten it some more. Maybe I should can cook iton medium heat from there.I am going to make it yu know. Still I can make it. I don't know how yet, but one of these days I will. Kendo is much more expensive for me. I can train do something about my training but at this time, that is going to be difficult. I can write about my training, but that is going to be difficult. I can write it as if in a journal a blog, people can read about it, but then that is something else indeed.I have asite ready for that. I can do a Japanese sword society for that. How am I going to do that then? Give it to the people make it accessible for everyone. I can do that. I can bring in people when sensei comes in. but if they are not going to allow outsiders to come in, how are you going to bring in new people? Besides, sensei will require that they go thrugh the local org. we'll see hat happnes then when 2006 omes around then.I can start off with my own dojo or with someone else, teach them aiki weapons then start off with that. I can show them the katas for the aikiweapons. We can start off with that. The kumijo wil then be advanced kata fo them and katori is super advance whereas it is just basic traiing lang.How am I going to make this work then? I don't know yet. But just get to the other side each time. I was fortunate last night price went down to my level. I think I made four pips or three pa but that is neg one pa rin net. That's ok. I learned a lesson from that. I am now moving on from here. Even stella has proved herself a nuisance and now I am moving on. Should I even get rid of the others? I don't think so. Better to move on nalang from here and see what I canmake out of this situation.I an still train with sensei if he will hae me. Otherwise, I will be moving on na. I can start off with just a week lang in cebu for the seminar. If that works out then I can take it from there na. How much is it going to cost me per day? I don't know yet. It will be nice if I can go by bike. That is going to be nice realy. I can take out my bike in parts and when I get there I get going already. I can stay in with different people while I am there and I can make it work really.35oo for the boat ride, then how much per day? Say 500 per day. Is that enough? I think so. I think that is enough. So I wil lneed around 8k for that trip going there. I can take the seating sleep on the boat. It's only a 24 hour ride. Where wil l I sleep when I get there? I don't know yet. I can plan somethng out when I get there. Though I can go to the mancera's place when I get there. They can give me a good price though. Where am I going to eat? I can go for two eggs a day. That is within the prescribed safe levels. I can eat carbs every one meal maybe at nights where it is free meals. I can do that.I can ask mike if he wants to go. I am going to bat for 8k then from here on in. how am I going to do that? The money I paid for sensei's trip would have been more than enough, but then I wouldn't have come to a decision if I didn't pay that. Then I can just figure out how I am going to ge the money in the future.I can feed the kids na after I am done with these. There are the eggs. I can eat those. It is already a Friday and it feels weird being a Friday. We haven't gone out on a date yet. We can do so next week na lang. I need to stay on course as I am taking medications and it is going to be a waste if I get off course. I need to get past this right away. How to do that?Already on my third page. I can try again this time and see where this is headed for. Where ar the two kids? Must be in the room or playing with the kids. I think they are doing that. They are like playing cards. There is a game they are playing and it is not how it is played but still they get to know about them already. It is not bad it is actually educational for them. So I will let them go ahead and play na lang.Kuting no problem feeding them. I can get other people. I can start off new relationships naman from here. What else do I want to do around here? I don't know yet. This has been a tough month. I know. Things like this come along for your own growht. It does get hard, but these htings happen to make you stronger. Do I go on training or do I do something else.? I need to take a break to take a step bak so I can see the big picture. Will I be able to continue training like this? I don't know yet. Just get on with it and we will see how it goes from here. If they take me out as member then I will ask sensei himelf if it is so. I am still bitter about the whole thing. I am moving on from here n alang and see what happens. I just can't go on with them pretending nothing happened. A lot has happened. That is for sure. I tried to keep the group intact when he went haywire, and now I get this. We should have kept on training without him na lang. Then that will have been better.Anyway, life goes on.April 21, ThursdayI can make playdough with the kids. That is much easier and cheaper maybe to make dinosaurs with than plain old paper and tape and glue. We can make them colorless then color them na lang with poster pain when they are finished. Or we can use plain food color so it will be cheaper also. If it works out and proves to be fun then I can make them with colorless then make good carvings or statues from them.There is a creative bent trying to come out. I don't have to start a class soon. I think there will be trouble here, but then if he isn't around I get to teach. So I cannot teach if he is not making money out of it is that it then? I don't know. But I do need to get some training done. We can bring in sensei in the future when we need to then. I think they are setting it up that if you don't train then you can't train when sensei arrives.The problem is, are they will they be able to bring in sensei next year? That is a big question mark. I think sensei will make do without the premium na lang if he wants to come here. I can go there and ask if I can watch instead. I am sure they are going to need the money then when they are to bring in sensei next year. But surely they wouldn't be telling me how much it cost so they are going to charge outsiders more.So how am I going to continue with my training? I am goignt o have to get my visa and go to wherever sensei is going and train there. I thin ki can do that. It is going to be expensive, I know, but then again, I can have sensei to myself when I am there. Maybe I can ask to share the room with him na lang. I can save money if I ate something cheap and low carb instead somethng from the grocery or something.I can do that. How much wil it cost? The plan fare alone will kill me na. How am I going to do this from here on? In cebu, it only costs them five hundred to train with their teacher. If it is that cheap then we can do something about it already. I can get a five hundred per day living in cost. I can sleep in with someone else when I am there. What else can I do around there? I can ask the manceras how much it will cost me to stay in their place. Maybe they can give me a good price there.I can ask tita lily for their number when I go there instead. What else do I ned to do around here? I don't know really. It was a shame what happened in here but that's life. It was a weakness and I don't want my wife to go through the same ordeal. It was a shame, but then I think my mom was sorry about it in the end. All affairs end in the same way. So why isthat? It is a relationship really, when you have sex with someone. Otherwise, you get sick with it already.The kids are still sleeping. I don't know where I can get a diskette for this. Learning how to use computers these days are mandatory and if you don't know how to use one then you are one point even ten points away from gettig a job.But if you were in busienss for yourself, you will teach yourself how to use the computer, one way or another. Eventually, you will have to do it yourself and get to the other side. I can leave early for trading, but then what am I going to do there. Not much. I can hang out here and fix the kids' bikes. Kuting's headset needs greasing. I can repack that this morning and work on that. Then ride na lang later this afternoon. I don't want to eat as that is going to get me off the rest of the day and my foot is already complainnig of all the food that I have been eating.Christmas is slowly creeping back in. I want to be over and done with this na when that time comes. I am aiming for september or something to be 30" again. How to do that if I don't' ride? I can ride. It's just that the diet and food thing is getting in the way I need to get mysef preoccupied with something fill myself up my soul with something else instead.I don't have to do it their way. I think martin doesn't have a say on anything. Now that he is second in command, he is lost in his mind and just wants to get in there and train thinking he can get ahead on that. That's just how things are. Edward, I don't think he is going ot get anywhere. What am I going to eat today? I don't know yet. I can have hot chocolate in the meantime. Jun was supposed to arrive anytime. Where is he na? I don't know. Maybe he isn't sure yet. I am waiting lang for his text. I wonder if he is in town na or somethng. I don't' know. If they are rich, why would his sister have to leave for work pa? They can stay here naman. They don't need money. Maybe she is thinking of making a career out of it or something.I could be in belgium now if I had the insight to leave th country after I graduated from college. It would have been easier back then. I am sure my relatives would have welcomed me there. I could have done something about it.What can I do about tit now? I can go pose as someone working then tnt na. That is going to be a problem there. I can go to japan instead and do some work there na lang. If I get caught then that is going to be a problem there. I can go to europe. That is a much bigger country and it will be difficult to find you there If you knew how to move around.I think so too. Besides, the future could be in europe na nga. I should have left na a long time ago. How am I going to do this now that I have kids. Four of them pa? Work on the trading and make it work. Realy make it work.Yesterday was scary. I think you don't have to make a hard rule on that. If it stays closed, then that is final. If it were to break lang and came back then price was just being moved around lang. If you cut your losses then it migt have been a whipsaw lang. I think that is a much better alternative than moving up a time frame. I think so too. Let's see if it works out. I have a couple of weeks to go and work on this for now. Yesterday was scary. What you want is to be more certain about trading and make it work out from there na lang. I am introducing broker na. I can do something ab ut this situation here.I cn aplay king of th eminis from here on. I can have hot chocolate after I am done with this. Marcus is already awake. He neds carrying around. He is growing up fast. What am I going to do about this?Just conitnue with your training. Never lose hope. It is what is going to happen in the future and you know it will that's why you will keep up with this. He may have kyoshi but what good is it if he did not take care of his health and were to lose everything in the end? It is going to tak esome time here.I was right before and I may be right again. Sad if iwere right. I think I will be right about it this time. Just get on with your plan, make it work ad then go from there na lang. Dan woudlnt' last very long aslo. He is sad man and is not going to last long. He is just throwing away good money when he should be helping out people making a difference in the lives of others. That is a lonely life.April 20, WednesdayI am so disgusted with things at the dojo, this has been simmering and growing these past few years, mainly with how things are being run. Edward should get a job, but htat's him and not me. I let myself get into this all these years, I think it's time I grew out of this and moved on.I see myself as someone who thinks well ahead of his time. What I had recommended years ago, these people are just starting to realize and act on just now. I think I am still ahead of the game. I think it is better that I moved on. I can train on my own. I can do something about this na lang instead. What else is tehre to do? I don't know yet.There is the refining of the spirit thing that I can do at the moment and still can work on. Kenjutsu iis not the only way towards that goal. There are other ways. Just think of yourself as someone who was there and has decided to move on. Not because I can't reach it, but the means towards that goal has been obstructed. Then I will still be going that path, it's just that I am taking a different route na.I don't know what is going to happen right now, but I wil take the next step and that is to keep training na lang and learning. I can go whenever sensei is in town. I can do that. Then I will take things from there na lang whatever route that will be. I don't know yet but I will get there when the time comes. I have been here before. I think it is best that I moved on na lang.The cebu trip, I don't know yet. If I were to cut my ties with the local group then I had better do so clean cut. No traces whatsoever. I will lose connection with the local group then but not with the international community. I don't think that is going to happen. I can train in japan. I can do that. What else can I do here? That is what the certificate is about. You can train in other dojos.Sure you can't pay them at this time, but in the meantime, you grow yourself from here. A different path is being shown to me and I am sstill attached to the old raod. I need to open my eyes this time. I need to move on. I am turning into the creative in me.The kids are still asleep. I had a restful sleep last night. Long and productive. When I awoke, my legs felt stripped of the old and has been reconstrcted with the new. That felt good. I can move on from here. Today is clasified as a rest day. There is aikido in heart center later, but I amgoing to trade today. That is what is planned here right now. What else is there for me to do? I don't know yet. Just move on and we will see what is next.I am learnng hiragana. How to write and read Japanese. From there, I will learn how to speak Japanese. Will I make progress in a year's time? I don't know. We will see what happens here. It is in my hands. I don't want to rush things, but I don't want to go so slow that I lose interest. It is different this time around. I am learning and I am moving on already. Tehre are different paths up the mountain. I am now exploring my different alternatives.The hot chocolate seems to be getting better. I need to put something else. Something seems to be missing here, but right now, this is a perfect cup for me. It tastes nutty already and chocolatey, but not sweet. What are the kids going to eat later? Corned beed. I can make mackerel later. I don't think there is going to be another gossugu here. Just move on. It is already dead for yo in the water. Better to move on from here. The old group is gone. Better mvoe one and start with a new one.I keep typingnews. Should I be reading the newspaper? I make more money with forex. Why should I spend time in the stock market? I don't know. Right now I still get commissions from that. It is the reason I still go there. I am getting a message. Incoming. Nothing on my phone at the moment. Maybe it was just coming in. keep moving. You need to g oet to the other side right now.What about the new students? Id on't know yet. There is a market for that right now. I don't know how we can go about this at the moment. Just work with what you got and move on from there. I don't know yet what there is for me to do, but right now, I just need to get to the other side.This is writing and I am going to finsih these. I used to do more thanthree pages aof these already. Then I stoped writing and then I come back to these. It is liberating after you are done with these. It frees me for the rest of the day. It is like emptying my trash bin. That way I canhae more space for me inside. That's why I keep writing. I need to upload these already. I need a diskette for these or maybe I can do something about this na. I think I can do that. Save as text and small font then upload. I can do that after this I am done.Already on the third page. I will work on uploading these later adter this is done. Then the yahoo briefcase is going to be filled up. When you see a thought, just identify it and move on. That;s how I get past these situations. See a thought, moveon.Spend some time with the kids.that is more worth my time. See a thoguht, moveo n. that is how you get past these. Use art. There is something I can do here. Do art. What art? I can write, I can create something out of this. That is why I never sused therapy. I use art. I write on these pages. The kids are going to a birthday party on Saturday. I can tell that to lara on text. Kuting got an invitiation. We are working on the dinosaur. I think the art attack is so over rated. It looks easier than it really is. I think kuting likes having all these tapes to bind her projects. I can get her those. It is kylawho needs to find her own voice. Just spend more time with her.The kids might be getting up later soon na. I am goignt o get done with this see a thought, then move on. That is what I do here. I am getting to the other side. I will save these files then uplaod them. That is what ido right now. I need to open the explorer files. I will be moving on from here already.At least jon is busy with his application process. Should I be getting work myself here? He can get a sales job he can do that. He can go to toto at toyota. When the economy improves then he has somethi ggoign for there.My time is more important. I ened to spend time with the kids and my own business. I am minding my own business here and I will move on. What else is there to write about? These maids are admirable because they do hard work.Jon is out. I can check out his books so I can have something to read while I am here. I am healing still. Ineed to make some progress and taking the next step is someething I need to do. See a thught then move on. That is what I do right now.I am trying to get to the other side. How many lines before I get done with these? I don't know. I will find out soon enoguh. Get to the other side and empty your thgouthts. You will get there eventually. What about the others? I don't know.It is not because of the mokuroku that I stopped. I am disgusted with the administration that I am stopping.

2006-01-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

May 5, ThursdayI got the calendar wrong. Lara's car has a flat tire and I wil have to get that fixed pa this morning, leave that in stalucia come home so I can ride my bike pa going there. Or we canjust go home byjeep na langtonight. No problem with that. Friday na naman tomorrow. Iam back again at 36. price you pay when you get out of diet or out of the zone.This is the second day on the zone diet. Need to stay in this for just one day. Keyboard support feels too high. I took it out muna work on this then get back to it na lang. Told the kids I don't want their playmates inside the room. Caught long inside and I don't like it like that. Better the girls pa. The room is privacy. The kids can play inside the house but not in the room. My kids can't even play inside their houses, why do I have to let these in mine.I don't ven know who their parents are. I am still out of sync. The eddie trade is still a loser. I don't have much left. Oh please let it go down. Sending that to the huge void out there. I had a great time on the bike yesterday and read articles on the internet. I like reading about the culture, the bike culture. Now I am going to have to move on from here. People can read about the bike lifestyle that I have. I don't have to encourage them to it, but it is something to consider.Why can't they live like that? It is the smell they are concerned with. Marcus is now awake. I would like to spend more time with him, but he I don't know how to handle him. When he is older we will be spending more time together that way. Where am I going to have the car fixed pa? I don't know. Anywhere out there. Need to have that put back in. the brookside vulcate is pretty no parking space. I wonder if I can have that fixed in there or I can do that someplace else.I bring the kids and that is additional expense. I may not have enough money for trading myself here. I will bring it there this morning na. I can fix it na this morning and bring it there na. I think it was the tubeless capacity that brought her home. Did she have enough money pa? I feel like we are broke na nga. I am going to get my commission na in five days, Monday I think.I don't feel like writing today, but I gotta finish these today to unload. Need to unload my thoughts and feelings. I was tired yesteday lang. Nothing more. It was a nice ride going home. Now I know it is possible that I have enough energy to get to anywhere. It is the long weapons lang that I can't carry. All the weapons I can't carry at all. So it is time to move on from here. What do I do now from here? I don't train in the mornings. I seem to have lost the capacity to get up that early as I get so tired na. I was past 36 na the other day and now I am back there. It was the carbs I have been having. I need to get past that already.How am I going to proceed from here? I don't know. Just get to the other side each day. The worst that can happen is that I get a margin call. What do I do then. I can get back to trading in abacus again. People are making money in there. I can make money in there as I am now in a better trading position here. Whose money can I trade? I can ask mel if he wants me tomanage his money for him again. What else is tehre for me to do here? I can ride my bike going there. Where can I leave the bike? Somewhere close or somewhere in the malls. I can ask the guards for directions on where I can leave that. I can leave them where the motorcycles leave theirs. I think that I spossible for me.What other options? I need a place to freshen up before I step in there. I can do so in the fourth floor. Ineed something loose for riding. I will have to go down ortigas for that. It is going to be crowded. The bike is a most efficinet form of transport. You just need to get used to that and you will be alright.I need to bring back the stoploss order and place it in na. Just put it in there and you will be alright then. What else do I need to do? The kids are still asleep. There are pcs in stalu surplus that are less than ten k. good price with a three year warranty. What do I eat around here? There is still the monggo. I can eat those. The kids like mangoes. They can eat more of those. I wish I had the means to be breadwinner again.Then work on that. How do I get there? If I fail in trading I won't be in that position, not yet. I wish I had been more strict with my stoploss order. At least I'd still be very much in the game this way. What else needs to be done here? See if it goes up then I will know that the market is not going as it should be. You know that. Just put it in then you wouldn't have to think about it anymore.Ok. So I will place that in order next time I go trade when I survive this with my capital still intact. Just be patient. It has happened before in the past. I just wonder if I can have it good. It will be just be patient there and then.The kids will just be playing all day long. I can ride the bike. Lara isn't going to use her laptop home. I took out my pc game na I can move on from here. I need to setup my website. For what? I don't know. Just get to the other side each time. I have naman the blogs. You don't need any websites at the moment. I am so bloated what am I going to do about this? Just stay in the diet then. I can ride this afternoon na lang. There isn't anything to do naman out there. So why not just get out there and ride? I can do that. Where do I go later? Up there then around up and back. Then I get a shower then I go pick up lara in the evening.I wonder if we will be watching movies later? I think so. I don't want to go to heart center if there is going to be a shoot in there. I just want to train. He has a good network and people know abouthis. I don't have that in the old dojo. They don't take care of their people. I used to run my own dojo and it was working pretty well. I brought up the group from where it was. Let's see them do something abou tit this time. See if they can bring up the numbers to where it should be.But knowing edward, I don't think so. Just move on from here. I don't' want to train with the guy anymore and see his fucking girlfriend who craves for attention evrywhere she goes. Primadonna is the word for that. Time to move on from ehre then. What else can I write about here? I don't know yet. Just move on from here and see what we cando about this. I don't know but it is going to take some time before I can break even. Just be patient and you will get there eventually. If there was strength to the dollar then this is just a correction here. I missed th ride. I will get another chance ont hat.It just pisses me that I can't get rides like that anymore. Why so? Id on't know. I cut my losses agad that's why. What else needs to be done around here? I don't know. Work on my trades make them better. I can ride my bike later. Get the car fixed first then I can get on with my day.I can fix the flat na after this then write Japanese na lang later. It is getting a bit crowded na the lessons. The kids need to shower first befor ethey can play. At least my kids shower at night. These kids there I don't think they do. Man. That's a shame. I hope I am not that kind of a parent. Done.May 2, MondayIt's now a new month. My dad's birthday on the 14th.maybe I can go to loyola and be with hisbody but his spirit isn't there. Surely he will be with hiskids and apo on his birthday, even today. Can I take a picture of that even? I don't know if that is possible at this time. It has to be with permission, I don't know whom. I was already awake na at four. Why didn't I get upYou should get up without even thinking about it. Next time. Tomorrow morning I can do that. I feel better the rest of the day when I do that. The movie yesterday was terrible. It was bad, it was trying to be good. Next time I will watch conan o brien's show and see who's guesting. If it was an artist promoting a movie, then I won't watch that movie. The last two movies I saw with actors guesting there were duds. So that's what I'll do. But I won't sit around waiting for that show.If I see it then I see it. If not then I will move on. I don't think it is within my schedule.the kids are already up and it's only 7 in th emorning. I am using the lance armstrong book for wrist suport. That's ok din as it is higher and I can write better this way. Yesterday's date wasn't so exciting. It has to be exciting for the both of us.Lara is worried about finances again. What does she need the money for? I was supposed to write morning there. Why so? Marcus is still asleep. That be good. He is grwonig up big now. He will be rolling over in a few weeks. He is already working on it na. I can feed the kids later when I am about ready to eat na. You can see with these pages that when I was starting out in forex last year. It is good that I can keep journals like this so I can keep track of who I was before. I don't think the cr needs to be cleaned everyday, but it helps. I can just do general cleaning on weekends or when I am free. The kids are playing in the background. It is good that they play together and not fight.I am spending time enough with them and they don't really do tantrums anymore when we leave for work or anything. Except when they don't have playmates then they get bored and will want to comewith us. But it's ok also if they did. Maybe one kid at a time is good enough.Lara now wants to learn how to trade. That is good. But it will take time before she can make money in there. If she can do so then she doesn't have to work anymore. She can make a good business out of it already. That is good then. Imagine if I can make ten dollars off my trades each time. That is going to be great. Ten dollars for every point I make. How can I do that possible? I need fifty grand for that.Will I be able to get clients that way? I don't know at this time I can't tell, but eventually, I think I can do that it is possible there. I don't think I should be hanging out in the chatrooms. I would rather trade on my own. I think it works naman the system I am using. I'd like to trade cable but it is so volatile. At this time, I can't afford it, but my account is already up 20% for the month. That is better than any form of investment that you will find out there. I am making progress with that slowly but surely, anyone can see that. I had a bad month, a learning month for march and I have learned my lesson there. I need to make something work better this time. I am lucky I was able to get it back. I will do something about this next time. It is ok sana cable the five pip spread kaya lang the broker plays with the five pips pa so it is more than five really. I think euro is ebtter to trade as the spread or the doing price is always the sell price and it never changes. I think that is better for me to trade at this time.When is it time to add to my position? I think when I am already at brakeven. Then I will be playing with the market's money. At this time, how soon will I get there? I don't know. We'll see how may month works out from here. I am expecting a reversal on the dollar in the coming days. It is already near support levels at this time if it didn't reverse pa last night. We'll see when I open the charts at this time.If lara knows na how to trade then she can help out. We can trade together here at home when I have the setup running in here. But for now, I need to be patient about this and see how things go.Just be patient and everythig will go your way. Pay the price ach day and you will get there eventually. Right now I have beendoing this for a year now. Since I moed here I had started looking into dforex trading and it has been good really. Now I need to work on getting ahead na. I need to go to japan next year. What is the threshold level? 20k. that is what I need to reach and I wll be good na it is one million level. 1k nga lang is already good enough and I will be aking goo dstrides with my trades on that level. So where do we go from ehre now that I am near broke? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side each time and eveyrthig will be alright.This is already the third page and I am getting hungry na. I need to work on my Japanese pa after I am done with this add another word to my vocabulary and writing. I will do that today and see what we can do about this then. This is going to take some time, but I will get there eventually.These writings help clear out my thoughts. Sometimes it can be revealing, I don't want people reading about this so I put boring stuff they don't understand. I think I can do somehting about this already. The kids are doing the english they see in cartoons. I can watch oprah later when they are playing na.It can be boring sometimes and I don't watch it as often anymore. Maybe these pages are doing something good to this. Why not get julia cameron on that show? It has helped a lot of people already and that book, artist's way has helped me trememndously I had been doing it ever since. Some people have stopped not seeing it clearly, butit has helped my life trememdously--big time.I try to do it when I am in the weekdays mode, sometimes in the weekends pa nga. I took out the civ 3 game na as it takes too much of my days and it just frusrtates me. Better I write na lang when I am there. Lara asks me about copy. I can edit na lang when she has done with it.I think the promise of a benefit thing is good. Can I install the tsx webcoder in here? I hope so. The older version is good. Otherwise I can just do text here and then open it in the lara's computer. In the future things still change. I can rely on that. My time in the sun is going to come again.It has been more than a decade already and I have been working on it for a long time already. I will get there eventually. Just take it one day at a time. If only I can get a sponsor who will help out with the home connection and I will be on my way from then. I don't have to go to the mall for that. And I can trade the us market when that is so. That is going to be some tremendous big changes in my trades.How am I going to get there? 50k will get me there. I can get a telephone line and internet connection with a new computer.April 29 FridayWhy'd the maid has to clean the bathroom after I use it? I feel embarassed if they do so. I woke up quite stressed.the kids were playing in the garage and the boy's voices you canhear even in your dreams. I feel bad about myfelse for not getting up to train. Is that being lazy or do I need to get some rest pa? I didn't get much sleep as it was so hot and I had to sleep on the floor, which was punishing to me bones and joints.It's still early. No rush finishing these. Just get to the other side. I paid the price for tgetting in to the chat room. Never do that again. I see other people's opinions and mine is not as strong as yet. What can I do abou tthat? That room takes up so much pc resources that the other programs crash or have problems. What do I do about it then?I can go blog at freindster. It may take some time, but at least I am doing something there. I can save often then add to it na lang. There is a holiday on Monday. That be good enough. What do I do then? Just hang out. There is aikido I can attend to. What about this afternoon? I think lara wants to go to the grocery this afternoon after work.I want to go train. I can go home naman afterwards. She can do the grocery herself. There be helpers naman and she enjoys doing it. I'd rather do something else. The movies aren't so great either. It is just plain flashy and not a lot of meaning to it. Being with the kids drains em so much. More so the maids they get drained so.You need to have time out. One of these days, I will do something about this situation. A million bucks. I was almost near a grand and it would have been easy trading from there. What happened? I don't know. Maybe I can go for gimmee bars trading instead. That is a good thing to do there. That is top and bottom fishing? Only 4 out of 10 trades will be right. What is consistent is your doing stoploss orders. You need to understand that and deal wit the fear outright.I am starting to get there myself. There is no practice in the dojo. They wouldn't be able to keep that one up. Just disappear and do something else instead. What can I do? Just train consistently. At the moment, this is all I can do. I cannot strive for something more than this that is over stepping. One day at a time lang.My stress levles are up. The kids are busy playing outside. Vian feels she doesn'thave to. That's good. She'd rather hang out with her dad here in the house or wherever he is. Where do I put in training time for later? I can do aikido. She doesn't have to have help. It is just my ego playing its part. I can go home from the heart center naman later. I will have a great tiem there as I will be doing what the child in me wants to do.So how do I do that? I don't have to text lara and ask permission from her. All I need to do is ask permission for myself, give myself permission to go and I will be there. Dnon't worry about the gear if it is going to be heavy. I can go there with the green bag. That is the right size for the traiing gear for me. Since Monday is a holiday I can go train there also.Man, it gets so hot around here. Even the fan gives out hot heat. I need to make adjustments to the fan pa. Joshua killed the kitten. Why is that? Maybe he is just curious about it. Should I be worried about these boys? I don't know. I was in that phase before. When I wanted to hit birds with the slingshot. Now I have grown up and don't have to do so anymore. It is fun if you are growing up with wide open spaces. That is what a kid needs to do. Where am I going to give my kids that? I don't know yet. I am thinking of getting into the underworld. How to do that then? I don't know yet. Should I do something else instead? Airsoft guns look nice but they can be so expensice and I I don't think I can afford that at this time. This is still page two and waiting to get to the other side. Just lose yourself into it and it will finish itself eventually. I can play civ 3 tonight when she gets home. But then I will bebetter served if I tained instead. So I just go to the dojo na lang? I'd bring mys tuff in the green bag na lang and take it from there.Man, going there getting out the door is the hard part. I need to get into it. Lara can grocery with the kids if she wanted to. They can come ove rpick me up if they wanted to. They might finish late if they are going grocery shopping. But then again, lara might want to see amovie pa later.That is also a concern for me. I will be boiling the chicken pa for brunch. I might be doing somethig right here as I am now at 36 and a half. That is good. I am aiming for 35 end of may. At the rate I am going, I may reach that eventually. I think I am still losing weight this way and that is already good for me. We can do the grocery thing then go see a movie as it is a Friday. We can do so in bigr mep. I think that is possible. I saw choppers last night. I think I like that lifestyle there.How am I going to get there? Just get to the other side each time. I will get thee. Just gofor one percent each day and you will find yourself on the other side. I just need my wife to stope badgering me about not having money. If I can keep a quiet mind then trading will be great.I lost because I got too greedy and wanted to get there that ididn't want to take any losses. That is not good. Every now and then you gotta take some losers just to be sure. What now? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side for now and you will find what needs to be done.Right now, I need to boil that chicken so I can have something to eat. I need to do the onion thing and everythig else then I will have something to eat na. What else cani do around here? Just finish these and get to the other side. That can be done here. I wish we can configure the font. That be something I want to do. I can use the courier font for that but this verdana is the internet font. People are now used to reading this font. Figure four isn't as ready to act as it should be. Get used to doing the right thing. Right now, wha tis the right thing to do? Just finish these. I can do somethng else later. The water isn't here yet. It takes forever for them to deliver water. Jon didn't get any help from nanay.Is that expected there? I think it would hae been ebtter if they at least sent him some money even ten dollars will go a long way. What else is there to do? Id on't know but knowing jon, he is not going to write her anymore. Vian will also want a cookie.That's for sure. I can open one forher when she comes here. That be fine. Just finish these and get to the other side and you will do just fine. If I can just keep up and be consistent with my trades, I wil do better there and everyone else is better. Next year is going to be fine and they year after that I start to make things happen. But this time, just need to be consistent.How do I tell that to everyone? I don't know yet. I just ened to time to grow for now.April 28, ThursdayWht can I do to keep me from doing that trading blunder--to keep me on track with my trading strategy? I don't know. Take a break whenever you reach your quota. That will keep you fresh each time. I think I can do that this time. Today there is two more days before the end of the month. I can take the rest of the week off and do something else. Michael next door takes his ball and shoots each morning. Now that is something. It is still early when he goes out. That is good. Do I get a haircut today? I don't know.What for will I get a haircut for? I am not going anywhere. I need to get gasul so I can cook. I can walk going back home na lang. I can go to abacus this morning, but then again, what am I going to do there? Not much. Better that I got o stalu. I can ride my bike, I can learn how to trade. Dollar is still getting strong, but looking at the chart, it is going to go sideways for awhile unless you get some fundamental news about these things.Lara takes the car this morning then leaves it in stalu. I can leave the bike there later or do something else. That cat is pretty consistent. That is what you want. Jun never did text me again. I wonder why? You know why. There were things left unsaid. I think you know what they are. Is there playing in the basketball court already? People go there to play a lot. Then people move on to sometihng else when they get married. Lara's got a new racket. She can play badminton again if she wants to. I can't believe how these people will use other people just to serve their ends. Service is the rent we pay for living. I think that is a pretty good way to say it. What then? What can I do with the website? Right now it is still getting some traffic. I need to make changes in that website pretty soon or google will index the sites and I will want mine to be int here also.I don't know. I will ride my bike the next few two more days and then I can start getting up in the mornings again. I just need to jumpstart this body and get going again. That is something I really enjoyeddoing, riding me bike. And I can do that again. Maybe one day get to tanay again. I think that is possible. Just do this straight for a month and I will be there even go up pililla. I never get that far before and maybe go down laguna to paete and back. That is going to be nice. Go all the way to pagsanjan is something else and spend the night there.I wonder how much that will cost me? I don't know yet, but I can sure find out how much. That place was nce to go to when we were younger. I can do that again. Lara is getting ready to lave na. Do I go with her? I can walk na lang going there wear my slippers na lang.Maid na lang sama for now. I can still finish these and be on with my day. What else is there for me to do around here? It is still early pa naman. I can practice my hiragana. Then I can spend time with the kids. What else is tehre for me to do? I can write something for the website. I can do one article a week. that is something else for me. I can even google na lang I mean blog them na lang so I can get some articles in there each week. that is going to be nice.What else is tehre to write about? I don't know yet. But you are going to need a diskette for that so you can save them and bring them with you. I like the biker lifestyle.. there is an air of independence in there that I like. There goes the basurero. Vangie seems to be also hard of hearing and ednalyn has to tell her what to do. She has female hormones that attract men. These ladies, I am also concerned with them if their relationships turn out well. But that's their life. I can't do much for them as I can for my kids. I have more influence with my kids.This is already the second page. I think this has the record of when I was getting started in forex. That Is good. That is a record there that people can read on how I got started. There are a lot of new faces in the chatroom. I wonder what happened with the others? Do people still know me in there? I don't know. I think they do.It's just that you want to be consistent with your trades that is what you want to do. This is already the third page and what you want is to keep on writing. Jon slept over. I think nanay gave him a few bucks here and there. Who wouldn't when someone is asking for your help. I am disappointed with bee. She was telling us to come to her when we need some help. I guess things have changed a lot around here.I think so too. You really can't do much around here. You just work with what you have and hope everything turns out alright. I think so too. Just get to the other side and you will be alright. Then you will work on getting to the other side again. It's just that. That's how life is. One page at a time. What am I going to have for breakfast then? I don't know yet we are already low tide. This iswhere miracles happen. Watch and learn. Serendipity.April 27 WednesdayIf there be no plans with lara later maybe I can do aikido later. That will be different. Did I ever ask for financial assitance? I don't know. I am not like that really, but I have asked for help from others. Do I want to finish this pa? The kids are busily playing. I don't like lovely playing galit and bati with the others. It is manipulative. It is based on the acceptance feature with other kids. Idon't like it. So lara planned to play badminton all along. That be ok then. I can choose to stay home instead. I'd like to be with the kids or someone I trust to be with the kids. I got great kids. They are adorable and I want to spend time wit hthem. It's my wife I need to get away from. She isn't dieting in any way and it is hard for me to diet if she isn't. so I am dependent on othe rpeople? Yes. That is good or not good? I don't know. Basically, I think not good. Why are the kids playing that way?I don't know maybe I should intervene? I don't think so. Maybe I can maybe I don't have to. Ulam nila kamote lang? Man, that is poor. Lovely is manipulative. Why is that? I don't know. These kids should learn how to throw to the basira and not that way over where people won't see them. Better get them to that way of living or that they will not be disicplined at all.That is not my job. That is their parent's job. I told vianne not to give to the playmates. They can go home if they want to eat. I just don't want them getting used to us feeding them something all of the time. But that's ok if the kids want to give. I just don't want them being manipulated bu the others. Not the way I want them to be. Kyla needs craves attention. So be it then.I will be getting ready for work na later and I still need to go by meralco pa on my way to work. So be it. I have plenty of stuff with me if I go to aikido. Then why not just ride na lang going home the long way? That will be nice. It's only 9. pretty early still I can practice hiragana later pa after I am done with this. Why not just go to practice. If you can make it regularly then that is good for your practice.I can do that. Fuck with them if they don't want me to train with them. I think sensei will know pretty much why I train.. I don't think it came from sensei. I think sensei said I want you to develop this but he didn't know we were training that there was regular classes. I think so too. He is not going to get anywhere this way. So I think that gives me permission to train na lang later. Get over it. I can go. If lara comes to pick up good, if not, I can also get home myself na lang.If I go today then I can also go Friday then I can go everyday of the week and that is already good traiing for me then. I think I can handle that pretty well. How about if it starts to rain na? Then I don't get to train when it rains. I can wait for my wife to come get me or I bring along my rain gear. I am going to need to update my rain bag for this then. How am I going to do that? There was this bag in gale that looked pretty tought. Kaya lang it was black and it was heavy truck tarp.I think it was a grand or so. The kids are busy playing na and joshua us still alseep maybe. Where is vianne? I think she is playing with them. She is one cute kid so adorable and charming. How am I going to go later? I need a bigger bag with the same accessories like the timbuktu. I think I can order na lang through singapore. I think that is the closest one.I was supposed to be in the bike messenger business but I didn't as it will take so much time away from th ekids and I don't want that. I think it I s better if --lost my train of thought there. Keep writing then. This is ssecond page. I think it was just edward who wanted me not to train and not sensei. Sensei doesn't know anything but what he just sees and what they --man, do I need to supervise these kids all the time?That is so tiring. I don't have the energy for that at all. I will need fresh gis for that if I were to want to train again. I think I can afford that. How else can I get one? How much am I going to spend for that then? I don't know yet. I think the maids and the kids I can leave them a hundred they can get pancit na lang for later then. And also for tonight.I wonder if I am still going to get commissions this month. It has been pretty tight lately. I need to get something going. A good sideline. Where am I going to get that? I don't know yet. I can write from here. No problem with that. I think lara is getting me a sideline. I think so too. It was tough that she had to pay 20 dollars for that but that's what she wantd to do so be it then. That is then a learning experience for her.I am still in page two. Jon started na training on his call center job. I guess they really do accept everyone who can speak decent english off the street then. But that's not the job for me. I need to do somethgn else altogether. I think trading is better for me.Ther eaer blokes out there who will listen to the experts. There is a market for that and people the amateurs will always look to them for that. The kids are going to have to learn how to look out for each other then. From when did I start these pages? It is only 9 I can still watchoprah. I didn't get up. Why so? It was the food. It was posion. How am I going to get past this? I can go train. I can go twice weekly. Mondays nad wed. now that is better for me then. Fridays I can spend with the wife if she wants to. The other days I spend with the kids.I can go hoem early tues and Thursdays. That is fine with me that is also rest day semi. That is alright. Mornings, soon as I get them intact is good for training also. Why do people spit? There is no need to do that. It is an acquired habit. That's what I try to teach the kids. I will go to the bathroom after this then cook my breakfast then cook the peanuts I will eat for later.I thik that is good enough for me then. This is day one. No need to count. Just be sober like this for long and then things will be alright. I just hope this foot right is going to get better then. What ar e these kids going to do next?They are going to draw. They are crawtive naturally. Try not to stifle that. They are going to learn and they will get to the other side na lang.Lovely, she is second child and she need sto do that also, vian is distracting me here. Then she will need some paper and pen. Where am I going to get those? I don't have nay pens here except for the ones I use. She does't know what she wants. That's whay kids do. They don't know so they do what the others are doing. That's what you also do if you are not careful.Do I do this early in the morning or can I do this sometime else? I don't know I can trade then go to aikido afterwards. I can leave even at six and still have plenty of time to get there get ready for practice. I think so too. If I get a flat, then so be it then. I can make adjustments to the nadlebar pa after this. Plenty of stuff to do around here.Vian needs attention. I want to finish these first. I don't finish these I get cranky.

2006-01-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

May 6, FridayEddie seems to have stalled at 2955 level. Is that good or bad? We'll see in the comng days. It's hard being at these levels, but if I am being taught a lesson here then it is effective. Based on what I have seen, I think the best strategy here is the stoploss. If you can consistently put a stop on each trade and minimize your losses while keeping your profits running, then you have a good trade plan there. Then you can try and make it better by tweaking the entry level. I think this is possible. I want to have the hot chocolate na. I have the hiraan in place already I am now working on the katakana. Then in a few more weeks I will be starting with the kanjis, then improving my vocabulary. That is good then. I can take the test every week or so. That is good already. What else needs to be done here?I need a new schedule for my training in katori. I am not going to show up in the old dojo. I will just show up when sensei is here and then I can opt to go to japan. At this time, that will seem realy impossible, but have faith. Get that positive expectant attitude. You can really effect changes in this world. Do I need to read more abou tit? I don't know. That garlic peanut tastes good. If it had sugar in it, I am betting that it does have in big amounts. Otherwise tha twouldn't taste so good.What about later? There is unang hirit. I can train Monday na lang so Fridays and other dyas are free. Mondays and wed are good enough training days for me, twice a week na yun. I can ask bullets to go to heart center but that is goig to be a problem there. Let them go and help each other out. She doesn't think I am a good enough teacher, but the ones I had trained with, I think I did a pretty good job back then.I am not confident with my aikido at these levels though. What I need to work on here right now is doing more of the katori. How am I going to do that? I need to get up without thinking about it. Already, this is already day three. I need to get past today and the weekend is going to be good. I am back at the 36 level on my waist. That is good. If I can keep ths up then I will see a break on the 35 by the end of the month. All I need to do is to keep this induction phase on track and go on from there.What else? Ride. I will fix kuting's bike today. I think the bearings are going to be pretty cheap. How much cash do I have in my pockets? I think I have enough there to get that one fixed then I will go form there. I can work on the Japanese first. I can do that when I get to stalu for an hour and then finish early. I can do what I did yesterday na lang. That is a good enough ride for me. Or consider today a rest day then ride a lot tomorrow. I haven't ridden twice a day yet. I will get there one of these days.I will need to write content for my website on bikes. I can do that on my free time. Plenty of things I need to do and I can work on a number of them over the weekend. So it is going to be a writing weekend then. I think so too. Where are the great places to ride a bike?Visayas is good. I can go there for a bike tour. I think I can go from here to visayas on my bike alone. I will need a computer to trade on when I travel. That is going to be important. Make this business work and in a year, I will be alright then. How will I go from here then? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side and everything will be alright.Have faith. Do not falter. I need to work on that infocom pa and pay them. Do I have enough money in here? I can go check them out later. Or I can pay before I get my commission n alang. I can do it there the other way. I think so too.What else? I am still in pae two. Plenty of things to do around here. Yesterday I slept lang in the morning. I felt tired and needed some rest. When can I go up antipolo? That is a huge measuring mountain for me and the alps is a long way from here. I can do the mountain ranges in visayas. I think so too. Where do I go from here? I don't know. Biking is something I enjoy and don't have to share with a stranger. I can share it with my daughters and they enjoy riding with me. We haven't ridden alone for sometime now. I can work on that. I will fix kuting's bike this morning. I think I can get the necessary tools for that. But it is going to cost me fifty bucks. I can ask lara for that but then we will have to buy water pa. I think we can buy water tomorrow na lang.What can I have for breakfast? I can have chicken again. That be good enough for a breakfast. What else can I eat around here? I can eat that later on after everything else is done before I take my shower so I will have time for it to go down pa.This is already the third page. What to do over the weekend? Ride a lot. Enjoy the rides also. What else? May 18 is the target date. How many more days to that? I think it is pretty soon. 12 days to go and I will be there na. Ther eis pinya that goes around here. I canjust wait for that and be done with the quota on fiber. Ithink that is good enough for me.Sex with lara is always good. It's not lengthy, but enjoyable enough. She goes down on me often and sometimes I don't have to ask for it. She is getting better in bed all the time. That is good. Some women don't even work on their bed skills. That is not good. Or maybe I haven't known a woman for sometime like I did lara. Maybe so.Should I try out other women again? Just don't fall in love. Just do it for the sex. What else is there for me to do? I was right about that lady there. What else could she have done to make her business better? I don't know. Maybe it was a junk thing. Maybe she could have focused on something else something more durable. That mumbaku shop is ok as they sell pretty nice stuff even if it is not good quality. If it were better quality then I would rather move my business over to the net and do better there myself.How to start my own samurai biz/ I don't know yet. Just get to the other side and you will be alright. I can go to the bike shop now but they might be colosed pa at this time. I can ask around for tape. I need to fix mine up. The right side n problem but the left needs fixing. Kuting is starting to explore na. I will not clip that. I want these girls to enjoy their life. Let them live. There is vangie there naman for them. I think it is nice htat these ladies learn how to explore. When they are older they will be asked to be muses from around here. I need to make this house more formidable then.How do I do that? Bring in people who will be concerned about your kids. I think the bike coop. I can work on that in the meantime. Do you want all these poor people In your house? Only the ones who will be training hard and riding often. I want less cars on the road and mor people on the bike.How are you going to do that? There was a time when there was a lot of people on bike. But then they couldn't sustain it and now there are less people on the bike. I can get to who I was before the spandex. I used to wear jams while riding and vans. Like a surfer dude. I can get back to that and that is better fashion for me when riding than all that racer stuff. I am a rec rider, not a racist.

2006-01-02T22:04:00.001-08:00

May 9, MondayIt feels good to have gotten up at four in the morning, train, then ride my bike. When you see the sun up that way, it feels, you feel like you have accomlished a lot of things already, the really important ones, and you are open for the rest of the day. The morning pages is the last stop for time for myself, maybe the learn Japanese thing also, but I can do them later.The kids are still sleeping. Last Friday, eddie went down big time with the release of US non farm payrolls which was better than expected, giving you clues that the economy in the us is getting stronger. This will follow a series of adjustments in the fed rates to stem inflation.That is good for the us dollar and bad for the other currnecies. Now all you need to do is find a good entry point and take it from there. Maybe I can place a good stop or limit order and let the profits run from there. I think I can do that. I think the ross hook is also a good indicator for me. I think so too.Elise and vian slept late na last night. I couldn't sleep myself, it was so hot, and I think it is going to be the same today. And just a few months ago I would wake up shaking because the electric fan was left open at dawn, and we would wear blankets while sleeping. Now I need to sleep in something cool like the floor so I can get to sleep but that is a shallow sleep altogether. We will get past this pa in the future.Marcus is getting bigger. His limbs, parts are getting huge. Rest day yesterday, I feel lik ei have fresh legs this mornig. Long afternoon though as ther eis aikido later and I will be riding going and back.i don't know lang if lara is going to come get me later, even if she doesn't, I'm good to go pa rin going back. It's a leisurely ride for me and I really enjoy it. I am not so much in a hurry anymore to ride. Maybe that's how I got burned out last time I quit riding altogether. It is such an enjoyable activity that I would like to have my kids into it also as an alternate mode of transport.I am still into training, and I will get there eventually, I can will go to japan. I just need to be patient and make my trading go well, I can go with mike if need be. They ar egoing to see more of me in there. I think that is good for you. I can get the necessary skills while I am there and I will train everyday to do that.This hot chocolate is getting better. I can learn something all the time everywhere. As to the dojo I am planning, not yet. Need to practice pa. What to do today? I can hang out at home this morning, then leave in the afternoon, or I can go this morning then come back then leave again in the afternoon. I will have les stuff with me then and I will be fresher pa. I will leave the notebooks and othet stuff na lang, but it really isn't a lot. It's just the notebook and a few others. What am I going to do?I think I don't have any trades to do while this morning is happening. I can trade usjpy while I am there as tokyo is already open. I only have a hundred. I don't think that is enough for me to last through the day. If I were to trade thismorning, heck, even if I went in the afternoon, I wouldn't have enough money.For breakfast, I can eat eggs or something else. The kids are going to have spaghetti naman. That be fine for lunch and dinner. Marcus is already awake. These kids babies wake up early. Tha tis a good sleeping pattern for them. Some other kids wake up real early. I guess they go to bed sooner than most people.How come turnover in apartments are fast? Are they upgrading or are they downgrading? I don't know, but if you were to look at trends, you will come to the conclusion that they are downgrading or moving to avoid being followed. It hink so too.I can go back to bed after I am done with this. I feel the pinch right now. We are in a really tight bind this time. That is why I need to get the trading business up and flying na. I need to bring in some money already. Lara's system is way off course and it only brings us into deepr trouble. How am I going to do this then?I can stay home do nothing, clean up much, ride my bike, spend time with the kids and save money. Then I will have enough to trade for tomorrwo. I think that is good enough. I am already starting to sweat. No need to say already and say starting to-- that is redundant. I wish lara my wife well. She is a good wife and I am lucky to have her. She is the speculataion in my life that really paid off well.Marriage is like that. You speculate that this lady and you will make it right and good for the rest of your life together. I made a right decision with her and now I have four great kids with her. She is very patient with me pa. Good thing I went back to her. Came back that to go with that other woman. That other is a pain in the ass and doesn't know when to stop getting laid. If I had committed to her, that will be my downfall. I don't want that there. Move on.I am doing a lot fo moving on lately. I think that is to be expected here. The kids should sleep all they want so they can get all the sleep they need. But it's not really an eight hour things. Just so they get their dream state then deep sleep I think that is more than enough already.I have a good system going with the kids. We get agreements and they learn to follow them. They set their own rules. They don't fight as often because of that and we avoid trouble at that time. What else do I need to do with the kids? I don't know. Just let the bonsai tree grow then cut and prune later on. That's how learning is all about. You cut and prune then you let it grow in the direction you have set for them.As for my training, I will go solo for two years then I go to japan with mike. I think that is good. I don't know yet how things are going to be from here, but in the meantime, let's see how these things go. I can do these practices discreetly, or I can do it openly, but then again, people know naman that I am training. I think I can stick with these na lang for now.Edward and martin can make a big issue out of it, but I don't think I am really breaking any rules. That is, if they sensei the truth. For one, edward didn't tell sensei tha the reason aikido here is like that is that he isn't a good leader at all. He is afraid of people below him will leave him behind. Tha tis a fact of life. You need to train them below you so you too will get better. Maybe he isn't training so he is afraid that people will get better than him. Where will a hundred take me? When I was young, it wil take you to a lot of things already. Incoming message but nothing happened there. I wonder when gani's student is going to contact me?Maybe this week, maybe he is just busy at this time. I will see him or her eventually. I have hot chocloate and it is good. How can I make it better? I don't know. But right now, it is good and I am content with what I got.It is going to be hot, I will deal with it na lang. What can I do around here? Hang out with the kids. Feed them, let them play while I learn Japanese, then I leave after lunhc and trade for two hours maybe watch the market then take it from there na lang.

2006-01-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

May 11, WednesdayI am now down two days from not doing morning practice. It doesn't feel so good this way, but when I wake up at 4, I feel like I want to get more sleep. And it feels good that I wake up late in the morning. I feel so much rested. What do I do then? Just let it be. What is strong needs to be weak and the other way around. It is a sprial and you want it to get higher. How do I make it better? I use lara's alarm. I can use mine but I need to get up. I need to make that one second decision to choose to get up. I want a hot chocolate after this, then I practice my katakana and then the hiragana. I wonder if I will have time for a haircut. Edward arrives tomorrow, but I am moving on already. Jay is in charge of aikido. I need to move on already. I am done with that. Just need to make a note of that in my head catch myself thinkng that way and then I move on. Just notice the head.The kids were up early and now they are busy laying na. Vian is catching some sleep. She always wakes up early, I think it was from the heat. I moved the fan closer to our bed, and it was a better sleep for everyone here. Then I will make it more permanent. Maybe we need an extra extension cord.Kuting is younger than her playmates, but she dictates what needs to be done around there. That s good. The lovely is not is playing like to take advantage lang. The other kids, they are like that. Why is that? I think they are just afraid of the parent. All kids are like that. How am I going to squeeze in some training here? I don't know yet. I don't want to train with jay, but he is a better aikidoka, since he doesn't easily fall, but he tends to hurt people lang. I don't like that. I wonder if mike forgot about the aikitaichi cd. I hope not. I don't really need it. I can do something else instead. Sensei is going to look for it. I will look for a different sensei when a Japanese comes into the coutnry and ask around for katori shinto ryu. That is why I need to learn Japanese here. I can make that etched into my hakama and take it from there.I think I can do that then. What else needs to be done around here? That is one step into getting a different setup. What else should I be doing around here? Louie was referred to edward. I guess that is a virtual monopoly for him, but then if eh is an asshole, he is just pissing away all these opportunitites that comes his way. It's a shame it is that way, but so it is. I can move on from here on.I want a hot chocolate after this then I can do my Japanese lessons. I wonder if I will have time enough for a haircut. I want to shave off my hair, it is not so nice anymore, but then again, what can I do about it? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side and I can take it from there na lang. This is only the second page. I write here at home, I write when I am on the net. What does tita beth want? She was looking for the maids I thnk. The kids are so happy wit hthe bike. It really is a sign of independence and they ar euot more often. If these were boys then they would be out and around more often then. What are these kids playing? I do't know yet. Those badminton rackets looks nice.Lara is playing badminton tonight. I want to ride home erally. I was just tired and hungry na las tnight. What am I going to eat after practice? I need something to freshen me up. Peanuts will be nice on the bike. What else is tehre for me to use? I need nice pants shorts for riding with pockets. I can do that.But I need to get across this month so I can do good in there. How am I going to make this work out? I don't know. Just get to the other side and I will make it good from tehre. Don't make too many corrections. What you need to do is to type correctly and not make changes automatically. That will make you a beetter typist. As for a better cyclist, you ust need to get out more often and enjoy the ride. What abou thte stuff I nee to lug around? Consider them extra weight and resistance to training.The kids are busy here. They are th elocal group in this street here. That is good. When I was young we owned half the subdivision. That was because there were far too fewer people in this neighborhood. Now everyone is all grown up. I have a racer of my own. A road bike. How come we call it a racer? For that is what it is, a bike you use to race. You don't see any mountain bikes on the pro circuit. You see these reclining handlebars and positions and that is good fr the long rides. I need to get in more long rides for myself.Who is organizing these races? You need a local group to join in one. You don't have to be in there. Just get in and join in on them. You don't need to be in there also. Just get in and join these races. I am hurrying up the typing. Why is that? I want a hot chcolate. I will be finished with these one more page and I will be done. Then I wil get a haircut later. Or ic an shampoo an alng and do something else instead. What else is there for me to do around here? I don't know yet. Just get to the other side and you will know what to do with your life here.This is already the second no the third page. The kids are playing in the basketball court. That is nice. They smell already. They can shower naman laer. Incoming message? No. it was just passing through. Why does that happen then? I don't' know yet. Just get to the other side and you will get there eventually.What else is there for me to do around here/ I don't know yet. Just get to the other side. Do what needs to be done next. I need to get in some trades happening already. I need to remember to use stoploss orders na. That is what needs to be done right now. What else? Learn how to trad cable. That is more volatile. What do I need to do about that then?Euro is more stable with three pip difference lang. When it was five pips, cable was better to trade. The two pip difference in the spread really makes a huge difference there. So it is just a matter of mental attiture then. How do I get better with my climbing? Lose the weight. How do I do that? Cut dinner. I can get that out or do low carb for dinner. How? Do low carb all day an lang. I don't think there is any way for you to get in some carbs with that lifestyle then.So what do I do now? Cut the sweers, you can do carbs but you know what needs to be done here. Just get to the other side then andeverything will be alright. I think I am using just three fingers when I type. I need to be more aware of that hwen I tyoe nd learn something new in here. I can't tupe that way forever. I kow what you mean Learn to use the other resources so you will be a better typist. There isa cd. For that you know. Just get use dto it and move on to the other side.If the two fingers are to b epositioned in there you need to check on it everytime. Why is it that three fingers use all the time? I don't know yet. I think I need a new way of typing so I can type faster or better na lang.What to eat?

2006-01-02T22:03:00.001-08:00

May 12, ThursdayI have already done a few errands for the wife and kids already. Bought water and brought her car to stalucia for tonight when she goes home. I can ride my bike while waiting up katipunan for my work out. I don't know if she'd let me ride home tonight so I might as well do some riding on my own.Now that I've got me hot choco in place, I can write and do things for myself now. I can ride later after I am done trading. I think I can leave around one and get to the trading floor online around two. That's not much waiting time and it is seldom that the market moves before one or at around that time. Even if it did moved before I got there, by the time I go onlune at two or three the market will move some more either to the other side or same direction.Edward arrives today. I don't think they are going to text me or contact me anymore unless they need something, I will bet you that. Otherwise, we all move on from here. Me with the three things I do for myself, trading, traiing and riding. I enjoy these three immensely. I can trade in cubao but I need to scope out the place first.What diet am I going to do now? No dinner after six. I can grab something lowcarb then split again for training or do something else instead. Hot choco is online and is delicious. It is not like the others I have tasted before. Maybe this is somethng good here that I can sell. We'll see. I can improve on this some more. The kids are not lending their bikes anymore. That is good. They don't have to as I get tired fixing them and it takes a week before they can get back on the saddle. At least they are enjoying riding their bikes.I wonder if jon already is working on getting employed. I don't know if he has money pa. Maybe no more as they are living in with his inlaws na so they can have free food and don't have to worry about it. At least he knows now how easy life was as a stockbroker which he was before and now he is employed. That's life. That is his karma. I cannot intervene with that or he doesn't learn anything at all. I can have pinya today and eat that. That will be nice.I have pinya now. Have breakfast na for later and then brunch or eggs before I leave. That will be enough for the rest of the day. Then the next meal can be at aroud six. I thnk I can ride pa so I don't have to eat anything for later. I can have pinya every other day while he has them and it is cheap enough and sweet. Better than going to galleria where what they sell there isn't as sweet at times. But still, I have coke lite pa. So is this a good settign or what?I can resume training tomorrow. I wonder why the alarm went off at four thirty na? Maybe it was on for sometime already. I missed traiing again. How am I going to do this? I don't know yet. Just be patient and you will get to the other side one of these days.When you are young, a kid, a bike is something else. Imade sure I bought them a bike. It was from tita bee's money, and I had a few left over for myself. It was a good investment there. I just make some adjustments here and there. One of these days, I can take these kids with me na lang. I can teach them how to ride to school and lock up their bikes while they are there so they can go home from there eventually.I think that is really possible there. I need to work on my people skills I think I know what they are, I just need to develop them so they become second nature already. What else is there to know? I don't know. I can write them down and make them work for me when I am out and dealing with people. I feel like I need to go to the bathroom after this. Then so be it then. I go to the bathroom for a while.I don't get calls from the tclients anymore. That's ok. I need to develop my trading business from here on in. besides, the market is doing poorly. Where can I recommend that they try charting? The spryfrat is a kid lang who thinks he can own this market. Trading is a humbling experience. You can't just go in there and be brash about it. That only shows how amateur you are. It is the same in the dojo. What is within so is without.Man, I need to make some changes in myself for the better. Mostly self discipline and self denial. How am I going to get there? Just work on today. Just today and you will get to the other side. How do you do that in kanji? I don't know yet. I think there is a website out there that can help me with that. I wll just work on it myself.Already I am writing so much. I think people are reading it naman. So be it. I can get a readership from these eventually. One day I will get to the other side and that is that. When yo get there, you see the other side and will work on the other side again. It is never ending. It is like learning. To this day, I am still learning and I have a lot to go pa.For a while it was tought to get to hundred pages, now it just takes a few months for me to get there. I don't know what I will get with these wrting, but I just write and get to the other side for now. Vanide is good. She works hard and she looks after the kids. The other one before her was a bummer. She just stayed in her room. Good riddance there. Not all maids ar egood. Just throw money in their way and they will stay and importat of all, treat them like you want to be treated yourself. That is important there.This is already page three. I can work on the bathroom cleaning but will there be enough time? I need to work on my Japanese pa after I go there. I can do something else. The water is was frozen and it will last em through all morning. That is cold water for me and that is more economical. There is a two liter party size for coke lite in stalu. I can go for that when we go there one of these days. I wonder how much it costs?Maybe I can make arrangements with the people in stalucia na. I need to make some changes there and maybe arrange for extension as I will be coming up expired na vip card. I will talk to them abou tit later. I need to talk to anna about it as she knows wha ti am talking about there. She must stil be a virgin as she doesn't have a boyfriend. I wonder why that will happen there.I forgot my lock inside lara's car. I can leave my bike there later or do something else instead. I don't want to leave my bike inside her car's trunk. I need to ride it pa after I am done trading. I may not be able to ride pa when she goes home. I think she will get terhe around seven pa so I have time to ride and nothing else to do naman in there.Or I can ride first, go home to shower then commute going there. But still I like to ride my bike even if I am done and have showered na and it is enjoyable not being crumped up inside a vehicle. I like it out there even with all that dust. Anyways, my multiply and freindster are all active now. I can do something else also. Why not link the two so you will have some more traffic in there and more contacts? I think I can do that also. Do I need to explain that the katori multily is already down? I think I can do that. I can search on her later, explain to her that I am no longer connected with their dojo and am looking like a ronin for a new teacher if sensei is going to cut ties with me.

2006-01-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

May 13, Friday"If you walked in the footsteps of a stranger, you'll know things you never knew you never knew..." pocahontassomething I should remember when I deal with people everyday. Everyone has a story to tell. Everything is not made up of atoms and molecules, but stories.Ok, so what's the story with the man on the fixed gear that passed you. Why is he on such a bike? Why was he riding hunched, why did he have the need to overtake you pa? There is a story here. The biggest question is why a fixed gear and such big gears?Maybe he was a cyclist in the old days when he was younger. These days, the work he does is labor. He has a family to support. He probably works in a hardware store. He lives somewhere in quezon city and by riding his bike to work, he can save money for transportation, and specifically, to fix his bike.He would make a good subject for a new bike or an upgrade. It may make him choose something that has a derailer at least. That way, you don't really need one to move to the bigger gear. Even when I raced, I think I did use the biggest cogs here and there, but that was only a handful of times and I don't even remember.Euro fell last night and so did cable. This morning, there is still movement. What would you do in such a case? It will be good to have a second account with someone else, but who? I don't know yet. I think geocities will advertise based on the content of your website. Do they have to read it? No. they have software that will look for keywords, then they will advertise appropriately. I wonder how they were able to come up with the cycling ads and martial arts and forex ads? They must be reading it or the software they are using is very good.You can't help but admire these people who get up each morning and go to work. I have been trying all these years to start a business. To get a businessman's mindset. It is difficult. Right now, my wife is the breadwinner. I wonder when this will reverse so that my business is the breadwinner and my wife working in my business helping out? I don't know. You tell me.I love barry manilow songs, still. I won't buy his cd's. I'd rather hear them serendipitously. Out of nowhere, so that when I hear them, it will sound fresh. When you have a cd of them, you will listen to them whenever you feel like it and it will lose it's special meaning to you.Last night, when I was listening to his songs, I went back to my high school days, and the power of his songs, beautiful they are a work of art, an inspiration. How could such creativity come forth from one man? Did he write all these songs? He is incredible. There were a number of other singers with better voice than him, certainly better looks, but the songs he made, were really special and they touched a lot of people.I washed my black bucket hat. It smelled na this morning. Hopefully, I can use them later when I go to work. I need a new hat? I don't know. Maybe not yet. That one feels good pa naman, so I will stick with that muna.I am changing, again. I am no longer after porma, but after substance. I am working on myself, on who I am on being rather than what others can see, but what I know abuot myself. Is that good or bad? For one, I am becoming a recluse. The only friend I have is my wife. I spend time with the family and not time with friends. I don't have plenty of friends. What can I do abou tthat? When I die, there will only be a handful of people in my funeral. Others will know that I passed away years down the road. They will just have memories of me. Is that what you want? Before, I wanted a funeral like my dad's. he had a lot of people then. He had plenty of friends. I wanted to be like that. Is that good? I don't know. Just get to the other side, work with what you have. Maybe if you lived a full life, you will have a funeral as big as your dad's. if not, so be it, but live according to your principles, your standards and not other people's standards. I am trying to, but I just lose friends that way. Then they are not your friends. They are not worthy to be called your friends and you should not spend so much time with them anymore. Move on.I just had my shower, and already I am dripping with sweat. Elise is already up. Lara has marcus. Who is already a big boy but still has a lot of growing up to do. This is the second page and one more to go and I will be moving on. I need to make adjustments to the derailer and then I need to get a haircut also. No rush. I can get a haircut over the weekend. But there is going to be a line there. Let's see what we can do today. I can do several things and I need to work on my Japanese pa. I need to turn over the matteress so I can so it doesn't smell so bad. I laid down there yesterday. Amarcus can reat to people he knows na. He is getting bigger. I'd like to see him play with his sisters already. I can't believe I have a boy.I thought I was going to go through life with three girls. It's alright, but it's great that I have three girls and a boy. Now that rounds out everything. I think this is what I liked in the first place. Now all I need to do is to get my business really up and running na.Now on my second cup and third page. Unless I do things for myself like this, I wouldn't get myself to be available to my wife and kids, my family. I need to get up early and get going na. What is next? I don't know. I need 50k. where am I going to get one? I can ask around.What else can I do around here? I don't know yet. Maybe one of these days, I can do somethgn about this. But for now, just get to the other side. Maybe I can make the forex tally sheet reflect the month on month gains or loss. That way, you get a tally of how your money is doing if you were to enter a certain month. I think that is going to be nice then.Can I sustain this? Just be disciplined. If you hit quota na befor ethe end of the month, then take a break already. Do somethgn else. Now I have something else to do. I can ride my bike. Like yesterday, I rode my bike after I made some good gains. Before, my only option is to go home or walk around the malls, look at booksale. Now I can ride my bike.There really is no need for me to get new parts. Just need to upgrade some old parts here and there, but most of all, I got everything covreed na. What can I do with this software that my kids will learn something? I need a cd rom for this so we can install some kiddie programs. I can't afford one at this time. So jut hang in there and do somethig else instead. Just take the necessary step today and then move on from there.This is going to be a long day today? I think so. Do I do aikido later? I don't know yet. I gotta make a decision on that already so I can move on from here. I don't want to carry a heavy bag then decide to go home. I need to find out early.

2006-01-02T22:02:00.000-08:00

May 16, MondayDid katori this morning but decided not to run. My bucket cap is still wet. I don't think I need a helmet. As long as you are a safe rider, and people know you're there you are safe. Besides, if you are going to die, you are going to die. Nothing I can do abou tit. I think I better get my sidefalls intact and safe already. How am I going to do that? Work with the people in heart center ask them to throw me so it will be a learning experience.I think that is better than doing suburis there, but then again, there is something there for yo to learn. I want to learn hapanese. Finally got lara's permission for me to hmeschool kyla and vian.. I am going to have to set up the resources on the internet and then I am all set to go.I am after the popularity on the net to do that. How else will I be able to do that? I prefer the bulletin board or message board for that. Instead of using the email group. That takes up so much space, but then again, if you were to visit for responses, you will want to have something else instead. Like what? Message board, you will have to go there physically. That will take advertising of some sort. What else can I do abou tthis? I will need curricullum for the kids. I will be teaching her like a grade one. What was I learning when I was in grade one? I can't remember anymore. At least there be books out there that I can get so the kids can be homeschooled. There is a growing interest and people are using homeschooling for their kids all over the country. It was started by peole from abraod who are staying here to teach their kids. It is more about learning than it is about education. You want to keep that spark of curiosity alive and that the kids want to learn.Kuting will have to go to school for a while. At least lara is open to that, and also because she is broke kasi, can't afford to get the kids to school enrollment. That's good then that I couldn't help out at this time.I am fasting today. I need to get in control again over myself. I need --lost my train of thought there. I am going to learn Japanese today. I can learn it through the pc play the game that seems mre interesting. I can also learn it by writing. I am out of ink already. I need to buy one later. Do I have enough cash in here?Lara has interview later. I hope it turns out well. We need to be doing something here that is productive. My business is productive. I am starting to get back the confidence I had in trading. I am already 13 pips away rom hitting my quota for may. That's good. I usually did so early. I think I hope that I do so this month. Was I able to hit my quota for april? I think I did. Just don't get too over arrogant and lose everything again. You have learned your lesson. Now move on from here and learn.I need to make a grand so I can move on from here. That is the immediate goal for me then ten grand. I don't know how long before I make ten grand, maybe two years, but I will get there eventually. Just need to be more consistent this time. What if I traded the us market through cubao? I can also do that. I can go there tonight and see how things go there. I need my computer set up there the program so I can get things going.Vian is so charming a kid. She is pretty and confident with herself. I need to work with kyla. She is an in betwee child and didn't get much attention from me but she is getting her attention from the kids. I need to work on that instead also. What else can I be writing abou three?I will work on my nihonto for an horu or so then I can get ready for work na. I will be going to aikido so I will be going with a heavy bag today. If I were applying for work, I need to prepare for it with what I can do for them instead of what they will do for me. I think lara knows that already. Maybe I can get her one of them interview books. I just hope she gets happy with whatever work she wants to get into.Kfc is an enrile company. You know how these companies are. Just get to the other side and she can retire na. It used to be next year yata or this year that she can retire na. I need to review that from here. I need to set that goals area page here on joey's computer and at home so if I need that to work on I can work on it from where I want to.I really enjoy riding my bike. Here in cainta, is not like greenhills where I can ride everywhere I want to. I got scared na when I got married. How am I going to change that then/ just don't give in to your fear. Move on and forward and you will get to the other side.I would like to get one of them caps for cycling, but if it is expensive, I will forgo that for now. I still have a bucket cap. I can work with that instead. What else? I need to lighten up. How am I going to do that? Ride more, eat less. I think I can work with that myself. I can go for eggs diet or something else.I can spend less time with lara. The next time I spend time with her is on Thursday when we go see star wars. It is going to be showing na this week on the sixteenth. Is it today or on wed? I think it is more wed. then we see it on Thursday then. So be it.I can go for a small lite meal on that night, maybe even less. I can do something else. Kyla needs to gain weight. How am I going to do that? Vian eats more kasi. She is more consistent. How do you say consistent in Japanese? Let me check it out. Where is my little book? It is not in the bookshelf here.We read books and te kids can see that. I will be working on my Japanese when I am done here. I need to make good with my alphabet then I can move on to reading anything and everythng. I never knew it was this hard to learn a new language but learn it I will. I need to spend more time on it lang.One in the morning and another session at night. Can you do that? I think I can. Just need to fdinsih this na and get on with my day. I can get a hot chocolate before I get started with that so I can have something hot then I can go shower again and leave na in the afternoon.It is nice to have lara here at home. How am I going to do that? One grand a month is good enough. So you will need ten k. how soon can I get that? I need my calculator for that see how many months before I get there.Based on my last calculations, she was supposed to be retiring na pretty soon. How am I going to do that now? Just take it one day at a time and you will get there eventually. Morning practice was ok. I did gogyu. I just didn't ride my bike. There is so much fear in me unlike before when I was invulnerable. How am I going to do that now? It is the media. Don't listen to themYou know what it is that needs to be done so you get to the other side and you will get there yourself. I willhave hot chocolate after this so it is the intermission then I will moe on from here. These people repair things.

2006-01-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

May 17, TuesdayMonday is already done and now working on Tuesday. Am going to spend less time with lara. I am weak, by hanging out with her, I get her habits, not good. She isn't as strong as what I want to be. So where do I get strength? From within. It is all from within. For if you cannot find it inside, you won't find it anywhere else. So this document stays here until the computer melts down? Maybe so. Unless we transfer this over to the internet today. I have a diskette now. See what we can do abot it.Elise is already up. Her sisters still asleep. That's ok. She knows how to get some rest na when she is sleepy. She can think for herself, but she still needs guidance. I need to reserve mornings for the kids so I can take off in the afternoon. How to do that? I can write Japanese na lang in the afternoons while I trade. That I can do. What else?That slime forest adventure is a nice game. I am learning much from there and not practicing the writing. Just recognizing them. I think that is still a step forward. What was lara complaining about last night? I was so sick and drunk last night, that if I had died, that was what was due for what I was doing. What is happening here? I need to get on with my life. How am I going to do that now?Just work on today. I will fast today, and ride this afternoon that when I get home then I will eat. I can have balut later when I get home eat it at home with the kids. I can do that. I can trade an hour lang or two. Just one session see how things go from there. You can expect a correction this time, although bbs favor still the bears. It stopped at around resistance there. I wonder where it went during the US market? I don't know. But the fact that it is there means price stalled around that point. Is it support or resistance? We will see later on?Don't read it while you write. Just write and get there. I don't have anything to do in abacus. Better I stayed home I save money and I get to spend time with the kids pa and my bike. There, I just sit around, read the papers watch a dead market. The forex market is more alive, more volume and opps for making money. Better to spend time in there than anywhere else. Justin has a lot to learn pa. Leave him be there he will come around when the time comes.I met the guy when he was barely in high school. Look where he is now. He is all grown up. He calls me sensei. That's what white belts call seniors in hakama. That's not good. That lessens the quality of the teacher.I got great kids. They are still growing up. They have a long way to go from here. I would like to guide them as far down the road as I can, maybe even see their kids. I just want the best for them. If I am not good for them then I will leave and not take my self esteem from them. I get it from myself. That's why I need to spedn time on my own. If I don't I will get it from them.As for my wife, there is a time and place for everything remember that. Getting another woman wouldn't solve anything. It will only complicate things. You learned that before. You make that mistake again then you are a fool. Better to have one night stands than to leave the family. It is a big mistake there. I moved my bike someplace else, near the wall so people passing wouldn't see it, less temptation. I think I can grow old with this one, maybe replace the frame na lang one of these days, but not anytime soon. This year, it I sgoing to be tight. Hopefuly next year we will be better off. Just sacrifice this year, the rest will be easy.Hard today, get used to it tomorrow. Life is difficult. If you get used to that already then the rest will follow. That when things get easier then you will be surprised pa. Just get to the other side. I am already in page two here. I will save this as text then move this over to the internet so I can have more disk space for this. It might be so big na you can't fit this in a diskette.Ok I am already halfway through this page will be moving to the third page anytime soon but not yet. Just keep wriitng and don't read what it is you are writing. That will get you faster there. But don't expect changes anytime soon. What you want is to ride and not worry so much. I think I was right about that. Even if what lara was saying is true, it all incorporates into everythign else you do.Sure it was making oney, but that business is supposed to incorporate in everything else. I think that taxi busness was a dud. Even if she were to start over again with that, nothing will happen. She doesn't have what it takes. She is just used to getting salary. That's what everyone else does around here. I am moving on already. I wil pay off debts here and there. I am down up to my neck in debt need to do something about that.This is already the thirda page. Going to the dojo is a dead end. Soon everyone will realize tht dealing with them is a dead end. For now, where I am is going nowhere with that. What to do now? I can reide my bike. I can train alone. Nobody expeccts that from me. I can continue with that path. Then when sensei shows up I can do somethng about it aready.There will be invites, I am sure of that. I can show up. If they are who they are I wil expect that these people will not even bother to invite people. They will just tell sensei what is convenient for them.oh. well. I might as well move on from here. If ned be, I can train still, but I need to go on already.Kuing has all the toys. What is left for the others? My drink is getting cold na. I can ride out and buy coke lite after this. That will be good enough ride. Willl I be drinking that all day? Better to do that in stalu where I will be taking two five hundreds. Yes. Just drin k water here and get to the other side. They are fizing up her car. What does that mean? I don't know.Better get your business up and running. I am moving someplace. Abacus was a deadend. Now I am trading a different market altogether. Now I am moving. I just need to be patient with this.If someone were to get into forex, they will find moneytec eventually. That is where you want to be. You will find everything you need to find in there. People will know about it. What else is there for me to do about ths? Just get to the other side and be happy for it.I would like to ride mybike. Maybe with the kids when they are all awake, I awill ask who wants to go out for a ride. I feel like I hav a swollen upper lip. I odn't have laptop tonight. I will do somethng else instead. What else is there for me to do around here? Lara is paying something for the car. Oh well, I think it is still a good enough deal for her, I hope.She knows what she is doing, I hope. I just want to get this business up and running na. We need to get the money goig already. What else? Iw ant to finish these so ic an get on with the day. This could be the last sentence before we moveon to the next page. Kids will be playing na soon.